peddler of deranged and off-putting fic

31 Oct 2025 21:35

Making out with your best friend of 12 years in his kitchen on his 30th birthday was one thing. Spreading your legs for him in his bedroom a couple of hours before his day officially came to an end was another.

You and Noah were an idea you once thought far-fetched. More so, it was an idea you never even bothered to entertain.

Now, as he started pumping his thick cock in and out of you, all you could think about was why the fuck did the two of you take so long to get together?

Were you both really that oblivious or stupid or too chicken to admit your attraction for one another?

In your case, you have done so well suppressing your feelings for him for quite some time now. You never wanted it to develop in the first place to preserve your friendship, and you were doing okay until he fucking kissed you earlier today. And when you left him disappointed, all you wanted to do was run after him and kiss him again— to tell him you wanted the same thing. Although it took you almost 24 hours to do that, Noah was beyond glad and relieved to have you admit your feelings for him tonight, finally. 

After letting you deliver your monologue when you barged into his bedroom, your best friend did not waste any more time devouring your lips. And boy did he do it so hungrily— you both did— hence, the two of you ending up naked in his bed. 

You wanted to hear his side and talk more about your feelings and where this would take you, but with the way he dragged his shaft along your walls, you had to push all those thoughts away temporarily. The way his bulbous tip was hitting your cervix was just making your thoughts incoherent. 

There’s so much more important matter in front— nay, on top— of you at the moment, and you’d rather not dwell on the details anymore. At least not for now.

Focus on the present, you told yourself.

And the present involved you trying your best to control your loud moans as Noah fucked you into the very mattress the two of you used to sleep with no malice. Some of the guys were still lounging in the living room downstairs, and you surely did not want them to hear you and Noah giving in to your urges after years of stewing— after years of their constant teasing. You knew you would not hear the end of it if even just one of the guys were to find out. The bastard Nick Folio, most especially.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Noah grunted as he picked up his pace, capturing your lips into a searing kiss. “So fucking tight.” 

You winced, hearing the bed squeak with each of his thrusts. 

“Fuck, N-Noah,” you tried to whisper in between moans, lightly tapping his bare chest. “W-we have to be quiet. The guys w-will know.”

“So?” He scoffed, his movements not relenting one bit. He pecked your cheek before murmuring, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this with you. I’ve waited so fucking long.”

“But…”

“I am not holding back, baby.” He slammed hard into you. “They can listen, for all I care.”

You wanted to protest and tell him that you’re not yet ready to reveal whatever you two were to your friends. But the way your tattooed best friend moved his cock in and out of your stretched pussy, the way he dragged his wet lips along the valley of your chest before lewdly sucking your nipples, the way his long fingers played with your puffy clit simultaneously– all of this was again not helping you think straight and was just making you moan wantonly. A little bit too loud for your liking.

Realizing your slip-up, your eyes went wide as you immediately covered your mouth with one hand, while the other found purchase in Noah’s bicep. 

You couldn’t fully blame yourself for being loud, though, since the last time you had been intimate with a guy was over a year ago. It had been that long, and your current partner’s performance certainly did not help. 

Now you know why girls couldn’t stay away from him.

“Fuck, aren’t you just made for me?” Bringing his mouth back to your neck, he peppered your jaw with tiny kisses until his teeth reached your earlobe. “You’re squeezing me so tight, babe.”

“Noah–ah!” You cried into his shoulder as he plunged even deeper into you, his arms pushing your thighs up to your chest to allow him more access. 

The new position you were in made your pussy throb even harder; his tip reaching places you never thought possible. 

“That’s right, baby, don’t hold back. Do you feel that? That is all for you; I’ve always wanted it to be only you… I’m gonna make sure you’re not gonna want anyone else after we’re done.”

“Noah, I-I’m close…”

“Oh yeah? Let go for me, fucking milk my cock, my love.”

All this dirty talk from your best friend surely sent you to the edge, and before you knew it, you were trying to squeeze your thighs shut and squealing like a little slut against Noah’s inked skin.

His big hands, though, kept your thighs open for him to continue assaulting your clenching pussy.

“Shit, f-fuck Noah…”

“Yeah, baby, I got you,” he whispered against your cheek, smirking at your euphoric state. As you came down from your high, Noah decided to pull out, making you wince from the sensitivity.

Propping yourself on your elbows, you wondered about his own release. “Are you done-“

You did not get to finish your question as your 6’3 best friend manhandled you on your stomach.

“Ass up.” He lightly tapped your butt as you got yourself comfortable against his pillows. You were quick to follow orders and lifted your ass towards his kneeling figure. 

Noah snickered at how you instantly spread your legs open for him without even being told. The way your folds glistened and your sticky juices coated your inner thighs could make him come in that instant. 

But if there was something he mastered after all these years of pining for you, it was patience and self-control.

So instead of plunging his dick back into your slick walls, he made you gasp loudly when his tongue licked a stripe along your wet and still sensitive folds. Each of his hands kept your ass cheeks open as his mouth placed kisses on your puffy lips before he dipped the tip of his tongue into your throbbing hole.

“Noah… fuck mmm…”

If there’s one thing you were thankful for in this position, it’s the way you could bury your face into the pillow to conceal your moans. And it really helped, especially when his fingers once again found your clit to flick and play with. 

“Fuck, baby, you taste you fucking good,” he murmured against your core, his tongue running from your clit to your hole where he then inserted his two long fingers, which your walls immediately clenched around. “And so needy, I see.”

You could only moan uncontrollably against his now damp pillow when he pistoned his digits in and out of you while his mouth made out with your folds. 

“You’re so wet. Ready for my cock again, babe?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you nodded at your best friend, who was back to his kneeling position behind you, his calloused palms caressing your buttcheeks as if it was his first time. His cock remained rock hard against his abdomen, which was now covered by a sheen of sweat along with his forehead. 

You couldn’t help but whimper as you bit your lip at the anticipation of being impaled anew by his thick shaft. That did not go unnoticed by Noah, making him push inside you slowly, albeit extra hard, in an instant— making sure you felt every inch of him from base to tip.

It did not take long for him to start thrusting inside you like a maniac, hands grabbing your hips to pull you up to him every time he pushed.

And it almost sent you to the edge once more; the obscenity filling the room with the sound of his bed squeaking, your damp skin slapping, Noah’s pubic hairs tickling your butt, your pussy squelching with his cock’s movements, and the guttural moans he never dared conceal. You lay there whimpering, defeated— for sure, everyone outside his bedroom already knew the two of you were having sex.

But looking back, your friends were already giving you knowing looks when you arrived at the house earlier, searching for Noah. Folio had his usual shit-eating grin as he told you the birthday boy only left his room today to grab some food and was surely waiting for you to ‘make up’ for last night. Michael was wiggling his brows at you when he asked you if you finally came bearing Noah’s ‘birthday gift’. The rest were smirking at you when you finally took the stairs to your best friend’s room. 

Hence, the idea of the two of you getting together should not come as a shock anymore. But still, you just knew that their initial reaction would be mortifying. 

But then again, Noah’s sweaty torso hovering over your equally sweaty back reminded you that what your friends thought of the two of you should really not matter. And it’s not like the boys did not approve of this when Noah showed the very first indication of his attraction to you years ago. If anything, they had been your number one supporter even when you yourself did not know yet. Nick Folio included.

“Baby, I-I’m close,” he whispered against your ear, burying his face into your hair. “Where do you want me?”

“I-inside,” you gasped. You could also feel your climax nearing with the way his cock was relentlessly hitting your spot. “I’m on the pill. F-fill me up, please… baby.”

And that did it for him.

Noah’s thrusts became erratic, and with one final push, you felt his thick, hot strands of come spurting inside you. The feeling alone made you explode for the second time around his throbbing cock, your juices mixing inside your womb. 

Noah slowly collapsed on top of you, catching his breath to calm down before finally pulling out. 

He dragged his nose along your shoulder before placing wet kisses on your warm skin. You were sure he was smiling the whole time.

“Best birthday gift ever,” he chuckled into your ear, lightly biting your earlobe. “I could get used to celebrating my birthday from here on if I get this kind of present every damn time.”

You playfully scoffed, turning around to face him. The all too familiar smugness in Noah’s face was back against his flushed skin. 

You were about to open your mouth to throw a rebuttal, but both of you were startled by the sudden loud music in max volume playing right outside the bedroom door.

At that point, you just wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

Girl you know I-I-I Girl you know I-I-I Don’t need candles or cake Just need your body to make

“Folio, go to fucking hell!” Feeling your cheeks burn, you frustratingly yelled at your younger friend, whose annoying face was surely on the other side, and threw one of the pillows at the door as if it would stop their antics. You could hear their shameless laughs from the outside, which also made Noah do the same as he collapsed next to you, running his fingers through his sweaty hair.

You smacked your best friend’s naked chest while shooting him a death glare.

And before you could retract your hand, Noah was quick to grab it, interlacing your fingers with his and placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. 

Now your cheeks burned for a whole different reason.

What a happy birthday for him, indeed.