rotation-hyperfixations @rotating-hyperfixations - Tumblr Blog

no you can't seperate housey from them they share one brain cell

#what’s crazy is somehow housey is taking the brain cell #which is mostly due to the sheer virtue of the other two being goalies #but still #crazy that they’re gonna leave two goalies in Ottawa unattended #rip to the co-host of gorge with Gwyn #and rip to Paris’ preferred human #ottawa charge #gwyneth philips #taylor house #kendra woodland

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weewooelectricboogaloo

PWHL Hamilton you have begrudgingly been assigned Sirens-in-law but that doesn’t mean I like you

I’m just happy Ozzy wasn’t separated from the wedding she is planning

#this is all part of Jaime’s plan to get Ozzy and Clarky back on the Sirens #watch this space #because Bourbs is Sirens DOWN #and therefore they have to come to NY #the wedding will bring them back to us #trust #clarky you wanna wife line in ny so bad #new york sirens

chirpingfromthebox

from Michela Cava's insta

#gwyneth philips #ottawa charge #I do think it’s funny that she attaches herself to the elder lesbians of the team #her parental figures of Clarky and Jenner are gone #so now she’s pivoted to Greco and Cava for emotional support #pwhl #emma greco #michela cava

Somebody disrespecting KO, Wheels and Cherkowski in my comments on Twitter. My team was not TORN TO SHREDS, for you to be annoyed at your GM for taking them and wanting a higher draft pick. Thats my family!

#new york sirens #PWHL #expansion draft #listen i get the might not be the sexiest picks #but I didn’t like their tone #also I’ll take them back on my trash team if you don’t want them #learn to love and cherish them like Siren fans do or you WILL be dealt with

victoire-ious

my girl is on a mountain. she could not be more free

#it really is crazy to me that this is what she does during the off season #and that somehow there isn’t anything in her contract against this lol #she’s their most valuable player you’d think they’d want to wrap her in bubble wrap lol #no gafs given about the expansion draft #Gwyneth Philips marked free from the Ottawa torment nexus #gwyneth philips #pwhl #ottawa charge

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snowtamale

Gwyneth Philips x Citadel definition

soffsh

They’ve claimed a new victim. Rip Hartmetz, gone (to SJ) but not forgotten

we-rule-the-kingdom-inside

ozzy confirming that the clarky-bourbs engagement news will continue until morale improves. ozzy how does it feel to officially be the funniest person in hamilton ontario canada

#I’m annoyed #but lowkey PWHL Hamilton is lowkey family #Ozzy I will miss you so much #but I’ll be Hamilton down for you and Clarky as my third team

yamball

the song of the summer is gay people wailing

weewooelectricboogaloo

Elite goalie manifestation circle

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

🕯️ Saskia Maurer 🕯️

🕯️ YOU 🫵 🕯️

🕯️ are a 🕯️

🕯️ New York 🕯️

🕯️ Siren 🕯️

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

#plz #we need it so bad #we’ve already lost our goalie twice #we deserve this #new york sirens

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keepkeepkeepitup

To all the expansion team GM’s; Brianne Jenner is a no good, talentless ugly deadbeat dad. She cannot score goals and she does not light up a locker room. You do not want her on your team, you want to leave her in Ottawa with her *checks notes* ragtag clown crew. thank you, this has been a public service announcement.

#papa Jenner has to stay in Ottawa #I don’t make the rules #legally you can’t seperate a father from his children #brianne jenner #pwhl #ottawa charge

nest-of-shiny-things

hello pwhl expansion teams. you may be considering making an offer to one Lady Ozzy, as her affections appear to be unclaimed as of yet. however, i regret to inform you that while she will of course be flattered by your proposal, she simply must graciously decline. while the offer has not been made official as of this moment, her glove has already been promised to The Greatest City In The World (newark, new jersey), who would of course be heartbroken if she were to break off the engagement and become betrothed to another suitor. deepest apologies, but these are simply the rules. ❤️ if anyone tells you otherwise or implies Ozzy is seeking offers they are speaking naught but lies. ❤️

~definitely the actual new york sirens

#I’ve been crashing out on Twitter over this for the last hour #Ozzy don’t take any unnecessary journeys and don’t pick up any phone calls #pleek #I need her to be a Siren for life #keep her and give her a raise in phase three or i will start crying this is a threat #(tearfully) ozzy ozzy ozzy oi oi oi #kayle osborne #pwhl #woho #ny sirens #new york sirens #yall know I don’t play about my goalies

pwhl-mybeloved

#and she will look at you and tell you to your face that she thinks her d did a good job clearing out pucks #like obviously she’s not going to bash them and I would expect nothing less then this type of response #but it’s just funny because it isn’t even a convincing lie #i hope she enjoys her camper this summer because good lord does she need a vacation #ottawa charge #gwyneth philips #2025-2026 Ottawa tournament nexus

caitthegreatest

desbiens, frankel, and philips nominated for goalie of the year in a move that i think will surprise no one. my vote is for desbiens (narrowly, frankel is a close second) but i wanna take a moment to highlight the torment nexus that was gwyn philips's sophomore season

started 28 games in a 30 game season (and then another 8 playoff starts...) and won 16/28 including 7/8 overtime or shootout games

faced 844 shots in those 28 games for an average of 30 shots/game. the goalie who saw the second most shots in the regular season was ozzy with 693 over 27 games, or 25.6 shots/game.

faced 241 shots in her 8 playoff games for 30 shots/game average once more

and yes for those doing the math rn that means in her 36 games over the 2025-26 regular season and playoffs, gwyn philips faced 1,085 shots

so while her save percentage, goals allowed, and # of shutouts don't stand up to ARD or frankel, by sheer volume alone gwyn earns a prize. that prize? fucking off into the woods with her dog and her legos Immediately

#let’s all talk a moment to reflect on all those interviews where she said her d to great job clearing out pucks #the stats show they did not girl #you were the defense #I know that brings you joy but that is not good hockey #free my girl #rip to the Gwyneth Philips 25-26 torment nexus #you were always in a situation #enjoy your time in the woods with Paris #you deserve it

sidneywokeby

nhl goalie problems: like 3 teams have a legit great goalie. league sv% below .900 for the first time in a william years. every goalie streaky and prone to suddenly throwing a series.

pwhl goalie problems: every team has three goalies who should be starters. worst GAA in the league would be middle of the pack in the nhl. nobody can score a fucking goal bc they're all brick walls.

#watching the PWHL playoffs and NHL playoffs is such a wild experience for this reason #the PWHL goalies are letting in on average a little over a goal game #and with most of the games going to OT and being decided to a goal for a final score of like 2-1 #and half the NHL scores I look at make it seem like the goalies never showed up #except for the Flyers Penguins series #I would imagine the PWHL goalies might have to be more technical because they have no size to help them #and the nets are the same size for men and women #what’s also wild is that the big 3 elite PWHL goalies are all at best average height #Philips and Frankel (1A & 1B of US national team) are on the shorter end #and ARD (Canadian National Team goalie) is average goalie height #hold your PWHL goalies close today #pwhl #ann renée desbiens #aerin frankel #gwyneth philips #hockey goalies

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xdragon-riderx

un-fucking-believable.

#we are not worthy #that is MY American national team goalie #pwhl playoffs #pwhl lb #ottatwa charge #gwyneth philips

I think Gwyneth Philips mom just followed me on Twitter…..

#ottawa charge #pwhl #gwyneth philips #my life has gotten so weird lately #thank god I view Philips like a son and haven’t lezzed out over her #because I love to lez out on Twitter and the concept of her mom seeing that scares me

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