Anyways they were already a blight upon the land when I was in high school about ten years ago and a group of people at my school got obsessed with this drink they’ve sold there for a long time called the 911.

Why is it called the 911? Well my friends, it consists of Irish cream flavor, half and half, and six shots of espresso. In the medium. They add more if you get a large. People were getting larges.

Anyways being an unmedicated adhd teenager, coffee had absolutely no effect on me so I ended up getting a lot of free Dutch Bros 911 drinks because it was known that for some reason Roman is immune to these things so when people couldn’t handle finishing their 911 drinks because it was too much caffeine for them they’d give it to me.