what’s poppin

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

This happened to me. You think mummies are slow as fuck and you can outrun them. But alien mummies have a ray gun.

do not trauma dump on my posts please

when you’re on your period you’re like am I just on my period or am I feeling all the loneliness and pain I’ve been feeling since i turned 12

they should invent a laying in your bed all day that is healthy and good for you.

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

wish i could call in bitchy to work

sorry boss can’t work today. i woke up and i feel like a total cunt. can’t be trusted with customers

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

oh hello delightful forest boar. why are you charging at me so fast

#in the article it says that the sailboat sailors were concerned because they could not be towed quickly because of the kind of boat#so they asked Götheborg what type of ship they were and warned that they would not be able to go above a certain speed#and götheborg went ' we are also a sailboat. 50 meters length. no worries :) '#and the poor sailboat sailors were just like ' That's not possible. they have to be messing with us' and then the ship Rolled Up (via bunjywunjy)

Crash landing my gyrocopter directly in front of a Michelin star restaurant and stepping out completely unscathed, handing the keys to a valet who takes my spot in the wreckage and is immediately impaled by a metal rod and bleeds out in the cockpit