jewels in my hair, demons in the head

“your nose is all bloody-” caleb murmurs while looking you over in the dark backseat. he turns to the clear divider seperating the cop driving from the two of you. “hey! my wife’s bleedin’ back here, what the hell did you guys do to her?”

the cop, fed up with your antics, answers dully. “she did it to herself. thrashed around on the pavement after breaking my coworkers nose. nose for a nose, i guess.”

caleb scoffed and kicked at the divider. “you shouldn’t be joking like that, that’s disrespectful. i wanna talk to your seargent.”

the cop sighs. “i am the seargent.”

“oh.” caleb replies dumbly.

you sit up and glare. “then let us talk to your superintendent!”

“yeah! the superintendent- god, you’re so smart baby.” caleb coos at you, slipping out of his seatbelt and onto your lap. “awe your poor nose… lemme make it better.”

“get back in your seat, now.” the cop warns sternly from the front seat.

you giggle and smile at caleb. “make it better for me, leb.”

he licked the blood off of your nose and groaned, grinding against you. “they can’t stop us.. can’t stop us from being in love.”

you tried to buck up against him, but failed because of his weight and the seatbelt securing you. “s’ good baby- mmh, fuck me in the cop car.”

“do not fuck in the cop car unless you want a public indecency charge.” the cop said around a sigh. “i need a new job.”

hours later, you were lucky enough to be bailed out of jail by caleb’s friend gideon- the same one you absolutely despised.

him and caleb were already talking outside by his car when you were released. you ran to caleb and jumped into his arms dramatically.

“babyyy!! i haven’t seen you in so long, god i missed you so much! they didn’t hurt you in there, fid they?”

caleb spun you around and preppered kisses all over your face. “no, no of course not. i am never letting you out of my sight for that long ever again- i’ll kill them for separating us.” he put you down on your feet and looked you over for any injuries.

gideon watched the two of you with his eyebrow raised. the second you turned to him with a sharp glare, he straightened and his face paled.

“what are you looking at?” you snap, venom in your voice.

“uh- nothing, just.. i didn’t realized you guys would miss each other so much.”

your eye twitched and you stepped towards gideon, shovingn a finger against his chest. calebs hand circled your wrist wnd tried yo pull you back towards him. “and what does that mean? you think i wouldn’t moss my fiance, huh?? you’re trying to tear us apart!!”

gideon blinked once, twice, before locking eyes with caleb behind you. “i… was just surprised to see such a tearful reunion after being apart for only three hours.”

caleb huffs and pulls you to him, hugging you and nuzzling your nose with his own. “three hours feels like an eternity when it comes to you.”

gideon sighs and shakes his head, getting into his car and mumbling about how you’re both psychos.

caleb piles into the backseat with you, leaving the front passenger seat alone because… well, he couldn’t leave you to sit alone, now could he?

after 5 minutes of gideon driving towards you and caleb’s apartment, you speak up.

“caleeeeb?”

“mmm?” he replied, fingertips kneading the skin of your thigh.

you look up at him, smiling. “lets get married.”

caleb chuckles and taps the large rock on your hand. “that’s what this entails, doesn’t it?”

“i mean right now.” you climb onto his lap- no seatbelt on, obviously- and cradle his face. “lets go to chansia city (the vegas of LADS). we can get married in the courthouse- please, caleb, i need to be your wife now.” you all but whine.

caleb seems to think it over for a few seconds. “chansia city..” he mumbles. “alright. gideon, take us to chansia city!”

gideon sputters at his friend’s audacity. “do you think i’m your taxi driver or something?!”

“gideeeoooon!!” you snarl at him from the backseat, turning to pierce him with your stare.

gideon sighs and hits his head against his headrest before popping a U-turn. “how do i keep getting myself into these situations??”

two hours later you and caleb were sitting in an empty courtroom, giggling to each other in glee.

luckily, there weren’t many spur of the moment weddings happening, so you and caleb were at the top of the list. the officiant was out to lunch, so you were waiting for him to return.

apparently your pda (sitting in calebs lap, french kissing) was too much for everyone else in the lobby, so they stuck you in an empty court room.

you giggled on calebs lap, playing with his jacket. “i’m so excited to be your wife.”

caleb smiled and brushed your hair back, admiring your features. “i’m even more excited to be your husband.”

you sigh dreamily. “husband and wife.. wife and husband. what more can you ask for?” a greedy smile spreads across your face. “exceeeeptt.. a honeymoon?”

“of course we’ll have a honey moon. i’ll fly you where ever you want to go. whitesand bay maybe? it’s pretty this time of year.”

you hum. “as long as i have you and a bed, i’ll be happy.”

caleb laughs. “ooh riight, we’ll have to consummate the marriage won’t we?”

“mmhmmm.. maybe we should consummate the end of us dating, before we get married.” you think out loud, nails trailing up his neck and stopping on his pulse point, feeling it skitter.

caleb was easy. far too easy. within a minute he had you naked and stuffed full of him.

your knees were on the wooden seat of the front row of pews, your bare torso pressed to the backrest. the wood dug into your ribs and pain blossomed every thrust, but the pleasure between your thighs distracted you easily.

“yes- agh, fuck-!” you whined out, hands gripping the worn and splintering wood.

caleb’s hand pressed between your shoulder blades to keep you against the backrest of the pews. his hips bucked up into yours quickly, skin slapping skin echoing through the large, empty room.

“so good.. fuck, i can’t wait to marry you.”

you hum in agreement. looking up, you can see movement outside the room through the frosted window in the double doors. “ah, there’s people outside.” you say it not really as a warning, you could care less getting caught, but as a statement.

caleb’s movements stutter before stopping abruptly. “you’re looking at someone else? who, was it a guy?” his voice was low and calculated, not in the same happy, carefree cadence as earlier.

you scoff and turn to look at him over your shoulder. “of course not, if anything they were looking at me- agh!”

caleb hoisted you up and spun the two of you around so he was now sitting on the pew with you in reverse cowgirl.

one arm wrapped possessively around your waist and the other pressed in the valley between your breasts, forcing your back against his chest.

he nipped at your ear. “there, now no one can see you.”

you huff in slight annoyance, but roll your hips regardless, desperate to feel him deeper in you.

“see that- go ahead and ride me, yeahh, like that- see the platform?” he nods at the slightly raised platform in front of you. “that’s where i’m gonna marry you in, ahh..” he looks at a clock on the wall “siiix minutes or so, maybe seven.”

you bite your lip and lift up and down, plapping yourself down onto his cock. “uhh huh..”

he licked the shell of your ear slowly. “better hurry before they catch us and send us back to jail. don’t think gideon’ll bail us out a second time.”

you groan and roll your eyes, picking up your pace and fervor. “don’t fucking talk about gideon when we’re havin-”

caleb interrupts with the same complaint, pinching your nipple. “don’t say another man's name when my dick is inside of you.”

“you brought him up first, asshole.” you slam down on him hard in an attempt to make his lap hurt, but unfortunately, caleb was a sucker for pain

he moaned and moved to grip your hips, raising you and dropping you faster. “and you’re the one that continued talking about him- how would you feel if i talked about tara while you milk my cock?"

you gasp and dig your nails into his arms. “you piece of shit, don’t fucking start- mmmmhhh!”

caleb laughs and moves the two of you to the floor, pressing you to the linoleum and drilling into you. “aww, you try to talk a big game but you’re gettin’ off on arguing with me, aren’t you?”

“no!” you try to say with conviction, but it just comes out as an undignified moan.

“it’s okaaay, you just wanna start pretty fights so i’ll put you in your place, huh? fuckin’ brat- mmh, go on then, cum.”

you clench around him at his words, holding back your orgasm. the cold floor pressed against your cheek as your drool pooled onto it. “n-not gonna cum, you’re a bitch! i hate your fucking- agh- guts!”

“yeah, yeah.” caleb dismisses your words, fucking you harder onto the floor.

“never wanna see your stupid face again!!” you sob, fingers gripping the foot of the pew.

he reached forward and rolled your clit between his fingers before sliding them down your soaked slit and stuffing them in beside his cock, crooking them juust right. “you’re about to be married to this stupid face, baby, no use in cryin’ about it.”

no more than twelve minutes after caleb had you sobbing on his cock, the two of you were officially husband and wife.

five hours later, you were on a flight to your honeymoon!

…10 hours into your honeymoon, however, disaster in the form of another woman struck.

all she did was brush against caleb’s arm on her way to the bathroom, and you blew a gasket.

caleb followed you as you stormed through the busy street, screaming your head off.

“you’re fucking cheating on me- i knew you were a whore!”

“i didn’t cheat, babe, i didn’t even do anything-” caleb tries to reason with you. he should've known that was useless, it hadn’t worked in the history of your relationship and it hadn’t worked for the whole 20 minutes you’ve been crashing.

you turn to face him and glare. “i should've known you would make a fool out of me, caleb xia, i should've never married you! you wanna leave me, is that right?”

“no-”

“you want a new girlfriend? a new fiance? a new wife? am i not good enough for you?” you pace, flailing your arms wildly as you yell. “i’ve given you everything and you want to replace me, just like that?! right after i take your last name?!”

caleb watches you go on and on, ignoring the laughs from bystanders that your scene is generating. you’re not listening to him and he’s sure you’re so worked up that you couldn't hear him even if you wanted to you didn't.

he knew desperate times called for desperate measures.

caleb took his wedding ring off of his finger and showed you it.

that halted you in your tracks, before inspiring a brand new wave of rage. “oh, so now you’re gonna throw your ring away?! oh my god caleb!!”

caleb put the ring in his mouth and swallowed it. he chokes a bit, yeah, but miraculously… he was fine after a few seconds.

you stare at him in silence. he stares back at you in silence. the people on the street stare at the two of you in silence, someone having 911 on standby. a nurse somewhere is prepared to give the heimleich maneuver. someone is recording the bizzare exchange, ready to go viral on social media.

“what the hell did you do that for? are you trying to kill yourself, is that how desperate you are to get away from me?!” you shriek.

he takes your hands and nuzzles against them. “now you’re closer to my heart.”

you raise an eyebrow, unamused. “say what?”

“the ring, it’s a symbol of our love and marriage. now it’s inside of me forever, close to my heart.”

“yeah, until you shit it out-”

“i won't. it will stay there, right by my heart.”

…somehow, this worked on you. caleb was back in your good graces!

at least for 15 minutes.

“you just did that so women can’t see your ring!! you’re trying to cheat on me, you fucking asshole!” you yell at him in the emergency room while he gets assessed by a physician.

caleb did, infact, end up shitting the ring out after multiple rounds of laxatives.

a/n pt: :D

content: PLS READ THIS! caleb and reader are both VERY toxic and exhibit red flags. their behavior in this is exaggerated for the story and is not normal. f!reader, caleb punches someone(not reader), reader slaps someone(not caleb), talks of pregnancy, talks of creampies, love bombing, gaslighting, guilt tripping(from reader), jealousy, smut, p in v, handcuffing(ish), car accident, they are crazy. reader is crazier though tbh, caleb is where he wants to be. if i need to add anything pls lmk!

a/n: the pacing between events is wonky tbh, sorry! i was listening to red flag by kesha and immediately got inspired :D the fic isn't directly based on the song tho. caleb is exactly where he wants to be. this is a repost! originally posted 1/19/26

the crazy in me sees the crazy in you… and i think i need it

it wasn’t news to caleb that he was a walking red flag. he’d heard it from his exes, his talking stages, and even a few close friends. did he agree that he was a red flag? absolutely not! wanting to provide for and protect his lover was the greenest of flags! so what if he snuck an airtag in an ex’s purse? he was just making sure she wasn’t going anywhere dangerous! maybe he was a little passionate, but a red flag? the idea made him laugh.

he’d only been single for a week when he met you at a club. you’d been multitasking between cussing out a man double your size and dancing to the loud music. the man was getting agitated and must have said something that upset you, given that you threw your drink in his face and slapped him hard enough to leave a red mark on his cheek.

caleb had laughed at your ferocity until he realized the man looked like he might get violent, grabbing your arm. he’d stepped in, ever the gentleman of course, and punched the guy so hard that he not only had your martini on his face, but also blood from his now broken nose.

when caleb turned to make sure you were okay, he found you already staring up at him with a huge smile and a star struck expression. it was love at first sight for both of you.

you’d grabbed his hand and cooed over the bruises that were forming on his knuckles, gently rubbing your fingers over them. “wooow, you’re soo strong, you just saved me.”

caleb had smirked and tilted his head, taking you in now that he was close enough to make you out. you were beautiful, but your spirit was what stood out more than anything to him. you’d been going toe to toe with a man a minute prior, and now you were clearly flirting with him with no care in the world for the agitated man anymore.

“i like you.” caleb stated, expecting you to flinch away like everyone else does when a stranger claims feelings for them in a bar, but you didn’t.

instead, you shocked him by stepping closer and interlocking your fingers with his and whispering. “i like you too.”

you’d had sex the first night you met- multiple times- and you’d gotten into a relationship a week later. caleb was used to his partners thinking he was moving too fast, but you? you seemed to think he was moving too slow.

a week and a half after you met, you were mid bounce on his cock when you decided now was as good of a time as any to confess your true feelings.

you whine and grip caleb’s jaw between your palms, eyes crazed as they meet his. “ah- fuck, i love you- i’m so in love with you, caleb-”

caleb’s eyes widen for a second before he grips your hips and thrusts up into you. “you mean that? ah- fuck yes- i’m in love with you too, baby.”

his words drive out a long moan from you, slamming your body down on him harder, chasing release. “yes! yes, god i knew you were in love with me- i could just tell- you’re my soulmate!” you pull his face towards you and capture his lips in a messy, desperate kiss, which he gladly reciprocates.

finally, he thinks, someone who understands him!

“i wanna have your baaby, ‘leeb.” your whiny words make the blood drain from his face and his thrusts immediately stop. ooookay, maybe you guys weren’t on the same level after all…

caleb laughs awkwardly and stills your hips with his evol, looking at you seriously. “sorry, what?”

you tilt your head and blink innocently. “i want your babies- i want them all. won’t i look so beautiful pregnant with your babies?”

caleb pauses, his brain trying to troubleshoot and figure out what the fuck he’s supposed to say to that- he’s never been in a situation before where his partner has said something so outlandish that he doesn’t know how to out-crazy them.

“uh. okay, babe, wow.” he blows out a breath and runs a hand over his face. “i think that you would look absolutely stunning pregnant, but… maybe later?”

to his surprise, you dropped the matter and didn’t bring it up again. occasionally during sex you would blab about wanting him to stuff you full of his cum, and he would indulge you in the dirty talk, knowing that he always wore a condom, so the dirty talk didn’t hold any weight.

a month and a half into your relationship, you were both sick of the distance with you living in linkon and caleb in skyhaven. at some point you’d begun staying at caleb’s place every night, saying that you’d moved in and referring to his house as your house as well.

caleb didn’t find it odd at first. he was thrilled that you were so close to him at all times and he loved being able to provide for you.

it was only when his friend, gideon, was going to stay over for a few days did the truth come out.

caleb decided to have the conversation after multiple rounds of sex, hoping you’d be sated and happy enough that it wouldn't result in a fight.

you lay with your back to his chest in bed and caleb was trailing his fingers up your arm tracing patterns om your soft skin. “you know how i told you that gideon’s gonna visit?”

you hum in acknowledgment, eyes closed happily basking in his attention.

“welllll, gideon and i have talked before and he prefers it just being him and i here.”

you stiffen and your words come out too calm for caleb's liking. he knows it’s surely the calm before the storm. “so you’re kicking me out?”

he wraps an arm around you, hand palming at your breast, voice soft. “c’mon baby, it’s not like that. i only see gideon twice a year and he wants it to just be us. it’s only for a week- and i’m gonna miss you more than you know.”

you huff and pull your head away when his nose nuzzles your neck. sitting up, you look at him with your eyes narrowed slightly. “so you’re choosing him over-”

“don’t pull that on me.” caleb replied, his voice dropping slightly as he sat up as well, his face turning sterner than you’d ever seen it. “i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone, but i’m not going to disrespect my friends' boundaries. we’ll facetime every night and text all day- surely you miss your apartment, right? you’ve not been there in weeks.”

your eye twitches. “i haven’t been to my apartment because I transferred the lease to a friend. i moved out and moved in here.”

caleb gawks at you, shocked. “you- what? you don’t have a house??”

you scoff and cross your arms. “i thought this was my house. you told me everything of yours is mine. i told you i was moving in.”

“i thought you were joking!” caleb says through a confused laugh.

“oh, so you don’t want me here, that’s what you’re saying.” you say, getting up and fumbling for your discarded clothes on the floor, pulling them on. “first it was getting me out of the house because of gideon, and now you don’t want to live with me- when were you planning on breaking up with me?! tomorrow?”

the only thought in caleb’s mind, watching you spiral and tear through his room for your clothes like a tornado was ‘what the fuck?’. how had a simple conversation turned into you thinking he was going to leave you?

“no- baby, listen.” he sighs and approaches you, wrapping you in a hug that you try to claw your way out of, fingers scratching at his arms. “you’re my life, i would never leave you. i didn’t know you moved out, but… that’s okay. i’m more than happy to provide for you, and that includes living situations. stay, please, i’ll talk to gideon. i’ll fix this.”

so, you stayed. caleb paid for you and your best friend to take a trip to your dream destination while gideon was at his house, and all was well in your world.

well, that was until your plane landed in skyhaven after the trip. you’d decided that a week had been too long without seeing caleb- you couldn’t wait until his shift at the fleet edned, you had to see him now.

you went straight from the airport to the fleet's headquarters, walking through the establishment, suitcase and all.

after arguing your way through security checkpoints and using caleb’s name, you eventually made it to the floor he works on. you heard his voice from the door and your steps quickened going around the corner, and that’s when you saw it- or rather saw her.

a woman talking to caleb. a woman smiling at caleb. and caleb talking back with a small smile on his face. rage bubbled up under your skin and you abandoned your suitcase by the entrance, calling out to caleb in a sickly sweet voice. “caleeeb!!”

his head whips in your direction when he hears your voice. he fought a smile and caught you easily when you threw yourself into him, hugging you tight. despite being incredibly happy to see you, he knew that this was drawing attention and he couldn’t have his coronel reputation ruined- if people knew he wasn’t really as strict and serious as he seemed, they might not take him seriously anymore.

he set you down on your feet and held your hand, looking back at the woman he’d been talking to before you came in. “report that information to the contact listed in your files immediately.”

the woman nods and walks off and caleb leads you down a hallway and into his office. once the door clicks shut he kisses you, hand angling your head back so he can taste you. “mmh, missed you so much.”

you kiss back and let him walk you towards his desk, only stumbling once on your blind mission. “missed you too.” you pull away and look up at him before pushing him down onto his desk chair. he smirks up at you, hands instantly kneading your hips when you straddle him, planting your ass firmly on his lap.

“why didn’t you tell me you landed?”

you hum and lean down, sucking hickeys into his neck while you roll against the growing bulge in his pants. “mmm, i did. you didn’t come to pick me up.”

caleb groans softly in pleasure as your lips continue their work on his neck. “i’m sorry baby, i got caught up with work. i thought i texted you that i wouldn’t be able to make it.”

you lick over the blossoming marks on the side of his neck and pull back so he can see your pout. “oh, you were just too busy laughing and flirting with that woman that you couldn't pick up your girlfriend, weren’t you?”

caleb tilts his head slightly, confusion twinkling in his eyes. “what woman?”

your eye twitches and your fists grip his uniform. “that was the wrong answer, caleb. the only acceptable answer was ‘i wasn’t laughing or flirting with any woman.’”

he smirks at you again, enjoying your jealousy. “okayyy, then i wasn’t laughing or flirting with any woman.”

“liar.” you growl out, tangling a hand in the gold chains that decorate his uniform jacket. “i saw you talking to her. i saw you smiling at her, caleb, why would you lie to me?”

“i’m not lying, baby. i was talking to her, yes, but it was about work. i’m at work, i’m working.” he answers cooly, not at all put off by your sudden possessive behavior and not surprised that the exact answer you fed him was still somehow wrong.

you hum and pull the chains, pulling caleb up towards you. “ah, i see. so you think i’m stupid.”

caleb laughs lowly and shakes his head, fingers caressing the side of your face gently. “i don’t think you’re stupid, no. i don’t like seeing you talk to other guys either, but surely you understand that it’s necessary for our jobs?”

you shake your head and watch him, trying to figure out if he truly believes this or if he’s just trying to get you worked up. “no. it’s not. i don’t want you to talk to anyone else- you’re mine, caleb. if i’m not allowed to talk to other men, you’re not allowed to talk to other women.”

he scoffs and drops his hand, his expression shifting from carefree to frustrated. “my love, that’s not realistic-”

before he can finish his sentence, you give a firm tug on the gold chains again and they rip off of his uniform, dangling in your hand. “hmph. fine. this is for your own good colonel.” you say, venom lacing your words as you wrap the chain around his wrists, securing them tightly together.

despite multiple coworkers knocking on caleb’s office door over the next two hours, he never answers because he’s too busy being your personal dildo. you rode him back to back for as long as your pussy could handle it, teasing him about how he could look but not touch with his hands tied up. you’d used your evol to make the chains tangle together in a way that made them unable to be easily undone, leaving caleb essentially handcuffed. he could have easily stood up or used his evol to lift you off of him, but he didn’t. he liked that you were claiming him so boldly, so he let you have your fun and let you believe that he was learning a lesson.

six months into your relationship you’d gotten engaged, and as a gift caleb bought you a brand new car- it was your dream car down to the make, model, and even the seat colors. the only problem? he’d gotten you a gray car. you wanted a red car. who else had caleb gotten a gray car for in the past? his ex girlfriend.

you were absolutely livid! you’d tried to talk caleb into exchanging the car for a red one, or even buying you a whole new car, but he refused- how could he refuse his fiancée?!

when caleb got a call from a paramedic that you’d been in a bad car accident, he left the fleet and rushed to your location immediately, terrified of the worst. he’d broken every speed limit and road law to get to you, his heart hammering in his chest. he hated things that were out of his control, it’s partially why he insists on tracking you and having access to your phone- it’s for your safety! dammit, he knew that he should have hired a personal driver for you.

once he arrives at the accident, he rushes to the ambulance that you sit on the ledge of, passing by the upside down and absolutely totaled gray car he bought you days prior.

you sat in the ambulance, ignoring the paramedic that was trying to check you for a concussion. by some miracle you looked physically fine, just annoyed. he reaches you and cradles your head gently. “baby- holy shit, are you okay? what happened??”

you look at caleb and burst into a huge smile. “caleb, you came!”

“yeah, yeah, of course i came, i was worried sick about you. what happened?” he looks back at the car briefly, feeling a surge of anger at the thought of someone else causing the accident. “did someone hit you?”

you shake your head and wince slightly- you probably DID have a concussion, judging by the dizziness. “i crashed.”

“i can see that- how did you crash?”

you shrug and answer calmly. “i tried to drift and i crashed.”

he looks appalled and shakes his head. “why would you try to drift on the highway? this is a straight section of road, were you trying to crash the car?” he asks sarcastically.

as if he answered a trivia question right, you beam and nod excessively. “yes! i was!”

caleb pauses and his face constructs into disbelief, his voice low and bordering on pissed. “...why the hell would you try to intentionally crash?” he didn't understand why you would try to wreck on purpose, let alone in a brand new car he bought for you not even 72 hours prior.

you just shrug, seemingly not seeing anything wrong with your choice of actions. “i told you i wanted a red car.”

caleb stands there in silence, trying to contain his anger and failing. his eye twitches and he takes a step away from you, clenching his fists. “so you decided to fucking wreck it?! you could have killed yourself!”

“yeah, i did! maybe next time you can get the color right and i won’t total it!” you spit back, stepping away from the ambulance and moving closer to him until your chests were almost touching.

caleb sees the crazed look in your eyes and he pauses. he blinks rapidly in shock that you’d… out crazy’d him. he lets out a sound that’s half scoff and half laugh and shakes his head, the corner of one his lips turning up just barely. “your exes were right... you’re fuckin insane.”

you smile and look up at him, your pupils blown wide. “isnt that why you like me?”

“yeah, i think so.” he leans down and kisses you hard, the kind of the kiss that always leads to a day long sex marathon between you two.

you’re interrupted by the paramedic clearing his throat. “sorry, but i’m going to need the kissing to… uh, stop. she’s still not clear of a concussion, so we need to take her to the hospital-”

you and caleb both turn to glare at the man, your words echoing each other. “shut the fuck up.”

three days later you were fucking in your brand new dream red car.

a/n pt2: im gonna do a part two eventually :3