are you ready for it?

Cal: There, was that that hard to say? And yep, the cruelest challenge is one you can't possibly win because I haven't told you the whole thing, I'm evil.

Nope! Sat on my ass doing nothing and nobody!

They renovated Walt and still didn’t include a smash room? That’s bunk. Anyone down to help me make one of our own?

Um, heck yes! An excuse to smash things? I love that, I’ll do whatever it takes to raise the money for it. What if we do a fundraiser where we let people pay to smash things now to get a taste of what it’ll be like when we get one opened? 

Cal: Woooooow rude, not all the time, I'm sure. I can't tell you though, it'd be mean af to speak Dream Ronnie into the world when you can't compare. Not possible to be more frustrated that I am now, nope. I'm peak frustrated lmao.

They keep drawing me back in with the new updates! Now, there are fireworks every Sunday at 7, which means I HAVE to go check them out and now I have to find all the sea creatures.  It sucks being such a completion. We don’t speak of any other Paper Mario besides the original and Thousand Year Door. And this one. This one’s cool as fuck. 

Really? I mean, I know that we don’t get to see real fireworks that often but you could find them on YouTube or something. Do you at least get cool prizes or some other kind of boost from the fireworks, or are they just... there? For real? Super Paper Mario was fine, and Color Splash was... well, splashy. This one the puzzles kind of make me panic a little, and I end up getting Goombaed, but I’ll practice and get better. 

Cal: You're the star of some dreams that are slightly better than that, sorry to disappoint. And thank fuck, bring it on. I have some frustrations that I need to take out and so I guess I'm gonna take them out on you, you've been warned.

Cal: Only the good dreams, Kluck :-P And hey, I'm just looking out for you, don't want to embarrass you in front of Lux and you screaming for mercy is deeeefinitely embarrasing.

Cal: Ey, can you get our roomie to spend the night somewhere else tonight? I just bought a few things and plan on absolutely destroying you later and probs most of the room too tbh.

Send Me Questions And I Will Answer With Definite Lies

I hope all of y’alls break was more productive than mine was! I spent almost the entirety of my break playing Animal Crossing and Paper Mario in the comfort of my own home. I’m so not ready to go back to school and start working and all that mess. 

Really? I can’t deal with Animal Crossing. I know there are like some goals, but I don’t feel like I’m a winner when I’m selling pears all day and waiting for someone to give me a five star rating for chopping down the right trees and stuff. I’ve been meaning to check out the new Paper Mario, though. Those have always been pretty good, with the exception of stupid Sticker Star.

“Is that a trick question? Of course I have! Hah, I always though that was hilarious to be honest, but I don’t know how great it would do in this situation, since some of us are seriously not athletic. I mean if you just want to show those of us up though, ten out of ten would recommend doing it for your own entertainment anyway.”

joliehunts‌:

text meme | send one for a..

( 😂 ) an embarrassing text

( 😊 ) a cute text

( 😉 ) a suggestive text

( 😍 ) a text about their crush

( 😜 ) a drunk text 

( 🙈 ) a text meant for someone else 

( 😭 ) a depressed text 

( 🤬 ) a pissed off text 

( 🤢 ) a sick text

( 😴 ) a half-asleep text

( 😇 ) an innocent text

( 🤗 ) a supportive text 

( 💗 ) a loving text 

( 💀 ) a threatening text

( 👀 ) a text about something he/she saw 

( 🗣 ) an announcement text

( 👻 ) a text from someone else using their phone 

( 😩 ) a worried text

( 😢 ) an apologetic text

( 🌞 ) an early morning text

( 🌟 ) a late night text

( 🍑 ) a sexy selfie text 

( 🖕 ) an argumentative text

( 🍆 ) a naughty text

( 😱 ) a scared text

( 🙊 ) a text that was never sent

( ❗❗ ) an urgent text

( ☕ ) a ‘spilling tea’ text

( 🙋 ) a text confessing to something

( 🙏 ) a pleading text

( 💅 ) a bitchy text

Until you have to help poor birds who are choking on pieces of popped balloons, pull a straw out from a turtle’s head and try to nurse it back to health, and various other things that you’ve clearly never had to do – then I don’t want to hear it. There’s nothing wrong with helping the creatures we share this planet with. 

Hey! I live in a forest, I know what it’s like to help animals. I just also know what it’s like to go to a party and have fun and not leave a bunch of trash around where it’s going to hurt them afterwards, too. 

“How do you have this much energy all the time?” She asked her friend, slightly out of breath. “I’ve literally been dancing for like, five minutes and I feel like I’m going to pass out. Maybe we can take an actual dance break instead?” 

Ronnie bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, excited to see Clara -- especially like this, seeming as though she’d been enjoying the party rather than hiding in a corner somewhere. “Lots of training! And sugar! You can never have a sugar crash if you never stop eating it, it’s a great life hack,” she declared, even though it was probably no such thing. “But sure, sure! I like to sit down sometimes and use the napkins on tables as basketballs to throw into centerpieces, and you can tell me who your date is and if I have to beat them up if they’re being boring.”

For those of you who are unaware, I’ve decided to  boycott any dances and/or parties that involve non-biodegradable decorations. I’ve had to help far too many sick animals who have ingested these things and I refuse to participate in anything that isn’t environmentally friendly. I suggest you do the same, too!

So... why are you a part of civilization at all? It sounds like you should go live naked in a cave somewhere or something, because everywhere else is going to disappoint you.