i'll be astonishing

I hate every moment of it. I hate all the girls, and I’m really only part of it so I can get close to the fast five. 

Oh, but when I suggested she serve all our drinks out of coconuts I was ‘stereotyping’. I should’ve just claimed it was because I have a hard-on for the environment, seems to be working for you. 

Well, maybe if you were doing it for other reasons than aesthetic reasons and actually cared about the environment, maybe your suggestions would’ve been taken seriously. If you’d like to join me for some peaceful protests and reshaping the world, then you’re more than welcome to! 

So… why are you a part of civilization at all? It sounds like you should go live naked in a cave somewhere or something, because everywhere else is going to disappoint you. 

Until you have to help poor birds who are choking on pieces of popped balloons, pull a straw out from a turtle’s head and try to nurse it back to health, and various other things that you’ve clearly never had to do -- then I don’t want to hear it. There’s nothing wrong with helping the creatures we share this planet with. 

Hey, that’s a great idea! Maybe we can present a list of alternatives to FG and make a campaign to have Walt completely make the switch! That way you won’t have to miss out on a lot of things. I know I definitely won’t be throwing any parties without reusable cups and straws! 

Oh! I’m not sure that’s the best idea because FG seems pretty disorganized, seeing as though I was stuck as a fairy for like... a week.  I think we should make a list and hand them out to the main party throwers. Spread the word, make posters. It’d be super fun!

Tally: Thank God. I was worried everyone had been kidnapped by cupid.

Tally: You can crash it, but I am homework’s bitch and will not let up until I am done. Only once have I been tempted away and it ended poorly for me.

Ivy: Nah. Definitely not. I couldn't live with myself if I participated in something that caused so many animals so many problems.

Oh my God, that’s such a cool idea, Ivy! I don’t know if I can fully commit since I’m like, trying really hard to up my social game by the time I get to senior year so I don’t graduate as a tall ginger nobody but like, so admirable. I’ll totally consider once I’m in college and as effortlessly cool as you. 

Thank you! I thought so, too.  Oh, Daisy, you’re super cool, and you totally don’t need to attend parties to come of as cool. You’re such a fantastic human, especially if you consider joining my protest of using not eco-friendly party decorations. You’d be super cool in my book for that. 

So what are you going to do if no one EVER throws a completely biodegradable party in Walt ever. You’re just going to miss out for the rest of your life? Like it’s nearly impossible since glass and metal and plastic are all nonbiodegradable and who wants an all paper party! ALSO, I’m tying to coast off of your popularity from now until the time I’m in college and I can’t do that if you never go to any parties!

Yep! That’s the plan. Although I doubt that my absence will make that much of a difference, I cannot condone such behaviors. Honestly, the poor birds.  An all paper party would be a lot easier than one could imagine. It just takes a bit more time prepare, but it could be done. Guess you’re going to have to pawn your need for popularity off on someone else. 

Tally: Am I the only one of you thirsty motherfuckers not going to the dance?

Tally: That being said, if anyone would like to join me after I'll be in my cottage watching documentaries all night. That is IF I get all my homework done.

Ivy: I’m not! I’m totally down for a girls night in.

If anyone ever tried to feed me a cashew quesadilla I’d absolutely break their arm. As the newest recruit into the Fierce Five, are you really trying to solidify yourself as The Nut Butter Bitch? 

Just trying to help! But continue to look bloated in your cheer uniform.   You’ll probably get put at the bottom of the pyramid and be stuck as a spotter for the rest of your cheer career. 

When you’re training for cheer tryouts and your coach suggests keto. I’d rather like, snap my neck doing a back handspring than give up carbs. Puh-lease. The Minnies are just gonna have to deal with a future flyer who likes donuts. Sue me. 

You could always go vegan with me. You still get to eat bread, and I make some pretty good cheese substitutes.