little lottie

“2020 can go suck on an egg.”

You understood it, so I meant what I said. And I don’t actually care what goes on in your relationship, I was just saying that in case you tried to use him in an argument. But anyway, you should really check your insult expiration dates, Charlotte. When was the last time Kai actually left me? High School? Think of something new already. Kai can hang out with whoever he wants, just not you. The suckiness might be contagious and I’m just looking out for him.

Mm, you make it so hard to be the better sister and not say shitty things to you. Really. But I’d never stoop down to your level. I’d never use Wes as an argument tool against you. He’s his own person, and he can hang out with whomever he pleases. Unlike you, I’m not a controlling psychopath who won’t let her boyfriend speak to someone because that person is rightfully upset and mad at her. What next? Not gonna let him talk to another one of his friends when they eventually do something you don’t like? Oh, or maybe you’ll just shave his eyebrows off the next time he decides to wear flip flops -- which he’s comfortable  -- in and not whatever the latest fashion is. Or just...I dunno, completely destroy his boat so he can never take off again.  If you’re looking out for him, then you should let him do whatever the fuck he wants. But again, you’re used to people just bowing down and kissing your ass.

Yes, it does. Boyfriend’s aren’t allowed to sororitize with the enemy. And before you try it, Wes can’t count because he’s a fiance not a boyfriend and I’ve known him longer than we’ve known you.

I think you mean fraternize. And I don’t put boundaries on Wes on who and who he can’t talk to. But you wouldn’t know a healthy, non-controlling, relationship if it slapped you in the face.  Maybe you should let Kai choose who he wants to hang out with, and then maybe he wouldn’t keep leaving you all the time. 

And we all know she’s not quite the handiwoman, so looks like you’re gonna be waiting a while. But hopefully it happens! Cause I worked pretty hard to actually get friends. 

...Just because Tia and I are no longer on speaking terms doesn’t mean we don’t get to be friends. 

I understand, Charmander! And I understand why keeping it is especially important to you now that he’s gone. I was just joking. Have you figured out your exact plans for it yet? 

I’m thinking about turning it into a non-profit type of thing. A homeless shelter or some kind of like food bank or something. I’m not sure yet.  I’ll figure it out eventually.  It’ll be great!

My fiance’s car, most definitely. I love it. Love riding in it, love how much he talks about it. It’s so great. I hate the fact that now I no longer live under the same roof as my sister, who is still my absolute favorite person in the world and I’d still do anything for her. 

Really? I can’t deal with Animal Crossing. I know there are like some goals, but I don’t feel like I’m a winner when I’m selling pears all day and waiting for someone to give me a five star rating for chopping down the right trees and stuff. I’ve been meaning to check out the new Paper Mario, though. Those have always been pretty good, with the exception of stupid Sticker Star.

They keep drawing me back in with the new updates! Now, there are fireworks every Sunday at 7, which means I HAVE to go check them out and now I have to find all the sea creatures.  It sucks being such a completion. We don’t speak of any other Paper Mario besides the original and Thousand Year Door. And this one. This one’s cool as fuck. 

I’m just saying, seems like you guys can’t go a year without one of these all-stakes brawls. Must be exhausting. But hey, I see both sides of the argument, so I just hope you guys can figure out some kind of agreement or compromise. 

And she’s the one who took it too far. She’s the one who said some shit that wasn’t okay. I’ve told you and everyone else that I’m done. She’s gonna have to do a lot to fix things. 

First the cotton business, now no cars, should I be scared that you’re going all Little House on the Prairie before my eyes? I agree about the power couple thing, and you’d be surprised! I drove that thing around NOLA all summer! I’m an excellent driver. 

It’s not going to be a cotton business once I take over! Why don’t you guys understand? I have a full  plan to turn it into something else, into something meaningful. And I swear to god if you bring it up again, your dick will never see my vagina again. Ugh. Fine. But I’m taking Dramamine. 

All the rural rustic-ness was cute and all, but it was so oldschool. Maybe you’ll grow to love this new Walt. You wouldn’t even accompany me on a romantic midnight drive with the windows down? 

Sometimes oldschool is the best way! I give it a week before you total the Wesla and I’ll tell you I told you so. If not, then I’l totally go on a midnight drive with you. Though, it does sound pretty damned romantic.  Guess we need to remind the city just how much of a cute power couple we are. 

Ah ah ah, don’t forget the most important part of your break, Charlie. You also sent my girlfriend into a spite spiral that I had to nurse. But you know other than that, I had a great time out there with…y’all. Nope, ‘y’all’ did not feel right at all. Forget I even tried that. 

Hm, pretty sure she put that on herself when she said she wanted to sell our grandfather’s business. She wants to sell something that’s been in the family for generations so she can get a new -- whatever the fuck she wants, and I want to turn it into something meaningful to honor our late granddaddy. Thanks for bringing that up. So glad you enjoyed your time.

But Charmander!!!! All the lights! Everything’s so shiny and twinkly, I’m obsessed. And lucky for you, you’ve got me to drive you places, and the Wesla, and I could even give you some driving lessons if you ever change your mind. 

Nope. I preferred the non-city lifestyle and the aesthetic before. If I wanted to live in a city, I’d live in a city!  Nope. I’m not going to get inside of a death machine. i’m going to keep using my board and my scooter and my anything that’s not a car. Thaaaankksss.