Aberoth the Unwise

Reblog to cast heal on prev

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

Gotta practice my "taking damage" vocalizations. The last adventurer that reached my chamber said I sounded like "sex grunts from a dad that groans when he sits down or stands up". I was so taken aback I just stopped moving and the adventurer crit me for like 2k extra damage.

That's why you need to invest in saying a rasping threat or merciless quip whenever you take damage. Sure, they can get repetitive, but they're less embarassing than an ill-timed groan or grunt.

sorry to wizard post on main but please do not keep more than one dragon in one space (tower, dungeon, dark scary cave, abandoned throne room etc). dragons are solitary creatures and they do not like to share their hoard. i get so sad when i see other evil wizards forcing two or even three opal scaled thorn dragons to inhabit the same room with no clear designated hoard. you can be an evil wizard without abusing your dragon. the orb can and will feed you misinformation and you SHOULD be fact checking the scrolls before making any serious decisions about dragon keeping.

You silly wizard , they're not even peonies, they're marigolds

what's the DC?

Due to dire circumstance, The Wizard Council has decided to try and force a crab rave. All Wizards are called up to send crabs in support

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Oh silliam-william, only you and my evil advisor understand me

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Cast curses, offer cures, profit

Pretty sure the Wizard Council frowns upon this sort of behaviour.

wizard council be damned, cast those curses! on an unrelated note, I have potions for sale that could help with those boils...

Boils? What boils? I think I'd know if I had boils.

oh right, sorry. check again.

Cast curses, offer cures, profit

Pretty sure the Wizard Council frowns upon this sort of behaviour.

wizard council be damned, cast those curses! on an unrelated note, I have potions for sale that could help with those boils...

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

official amulet post

Woah man, this wizard hike is invigorating. I just saw some guy clap his hands together and say "Breeze of the Seven Mountains" or something, and everyone around him was swathed in a chilling mist and had their exhaustion vanish. People didn't even look up, that's how captivating the Twelveswood is. I'm over here casting granola and level 2 cooling. I think I just heard someone say "Power word: Refreshments" up ahead. I gotta get up there.

Yeah man, this wizard museum is so chaotic. I just saw a visitor clap his hands together and say "Summon 10,000 hammers" or something, and every display case around him shattered immediately. The security camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common this is. I'm over here casting Repair Ceramic and level 2 Do Not Touch. I think I just heard "Power Word: Awaken Dinosaur Skeleton" two groups over. I gotta get into grad school.

Yeah, field trip day is always rough

I will NOT. apologize for casting Magma Fissure in room 16b. It was dark in there and now the thermal light makes it easier to see the exhibits that didn't fall in the magma fissure.