hot-bots-are-hot

having friends is important because otherwise you’ll stay convinced your parents are normal

by the way this is medical. this could save somebody from a migraine all the way to a seizure. this has always been serious. treat this seriously.

I know next to nothing about botany but the phrase “feral sunflower” is hilarious to me

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

"The frown was completely unreadable. Thankfully, the loaded and raised gun offered a clue."

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me