Me

I need to see all three of them interact IMMEDIATELY

Solo loves having the whole house mad.

THE SMILE ON DAMIAN'S FACE AFTER HE BRIEFLY TEAMED UP WITH DOM AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SO LONG DO NOT GET ME STARTED

messy quick thing bc i'm thinking about elsewhere again….

MY PORKY BOYYYYYY

I feel like I won the lottery

Trevor and River are giving hardcore the same vibes and I don’t know how to explain it

Maybe Shirley would be squaring up to robert grove at some point , because he was telling her what to do

s5 River doesn't really seem to think about anyone but himself. when Louisa shares with him her decision to leave, he only thinks about how he is going to struggle. he constantly snaps at everyone (except for Louisa but it's only because he was scared to lose her). he's especially harsh towards Shirley while knowing very well how brutal a loss she suffered not that long ago. which yes, definitely has something to do with her just reminding him how stuck HE is, how huge of a mess HE is. yes, i understand that's the point, he's not doing good, he's completely lost as a result of everything that happened before and he's living in a nightmare of slowly losing his grandfather while also thinking about Frank walking free somewhere out there. i'm not saying his behaviour doesn't make any sense at all. i'm just saying it's really upsetting to see. and also this season (and tbh some book spoilers too i learned recently about) really made me think about how in this universe the characters are truly doomed by Mick Herron the narrative that everything is always going to get worse and the suffering never ends. while some of it might have some truth in it (life is hard and brutal sometimes etc etc), i just think we desperately need stories that still have some glimpses of hope in it. that we can survive and keep holding on by having even the smallest of connection with other people. how even this can save us. if the point is to show how when you turn everyone away it only can backfire catastrophically on you, well... i can only hope this is the case and that's what River's journey was intended to demonstrate. the closest thing to compassion and empathy that River showed this season is when he rushed after Shirley in the club to stop her from relapsing again (from his perspective) and then being affected by her confession so much that he even offered that wrap of drugs back to her. it all went to shit anyway between them but that was at least the moment of him caring about Shirley. River in the end of the season doesn't leave an impression of a man capable of that

I'm so desperate for some team family bonding time