Monarch of Naps™

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

what if we don't wanna be?

red dead and beyond

bed bath redemption

its fun to remember we can use the big text if we want. bonjour motherfuckers. i'm posting loud as hell now.

hey everypony. can you direct me to the nonfiction birding books. thanks.

these hips don't lie, and those hips don't tell the truth. how do you navigate out of this labyrinth

please

God being a writer would be so great if I didn't have to write anything

Wait I just remembered that ai books exist and the empty spectre of being a writer without writing anything suddenly gave me the urge to eat nails. Post rescinded. I'll write the fucking chapter.

The time will pass anyway

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

can you put that thing on a leash?

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.