Hmm

(Goes outside) oh God. It's just like trees.com and bugs.com

are you in a good headspace to receive my triple barrage hell nightmare skeleton attack right now.

funniest possible situation to say “but we’re both girls!” go

the Xenomorph as Sigourney Weaver jettisons her out the airlock

okay sure

i work at the post office beating the shit out of your fragile package

Me when i want to fucking watch blue but that stupid bitch wants to watch red

I've literally never been kissed this much it is frying my brain

i hope a ceiling fan fall on yall

we were at the beach on a towel so...

So watch out

tag your superbowl spoilers

Tom Brady dies

tumblrs not a blogging or social media or whatever platform. its an aquarium.

and brother, i’m a stingray who wants to be petted

Has anybody seen my pet Weather Balloon she didn't come home last night and her food bowl is still full.

bitches hate me for my earnest whimsy and my pathological degree of avoidant behavior

sorry for sending u 20 posts in a row. everything in the entire world reminds me of u. becuase i love you

maybe you should vacantly stare into this fire while stoking it with a large branch and you will calm down

I'm going purr and cuddle mode (because i love and trust you)

id go catholic if the pope had a couple of big fat rock hard silicone titties