I absolutely lose my shit laughing every time I see this

Janaina Medeiros
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Today's Document
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we're not kids anymore.
Jules of Nature
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@rizzity
I absolutely lose my shit laughing every time I see this

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I have collected some great life hacks over the years and I think it's about time I shared them with everyone:
If you have a cassette tape that has come unwound, you can use a pencil to manually rewind it to undo the bunching
You can use any old AOL disks for personal use by deleting the files on them. Just make sure you lable them good so you don't accidentally lose them amongst all the others
If your mouse seems to be lagging, it's probably just a dirty ball. Take the ball out and wash it. You can use a q-tip to clean the ball housing
This one isn't so much a hack, but it's important. Remember: never turn off your computer until you see the "It is now safe" screen
I've reached the point where cynicism is a major turn-off for me. You're not smarter than idealists, and you're not helping.
the pure of heart do not require a "car" and "driver's license" to travel
minecraft houses always look super cute from the outside and then you see the inside and it's the most cramped living space in the world because every piece of furniture needs to take up a square meter minimum of floor space

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do
I will forever maintain that genuine fortune-telling and psychic medium junk is a load of bull, but as a person who owns tarot decks and regularly uses them as a tool for self-reflection I also have to admit that it does kind of work for that and it's very very funny when it does
Once I laid out some cards before I left the house and couldn't figure out an interpretation of the symbolism that made sense outside of "stop focusing and pay attention", which was of course absurd, so I was puzzling over that all the way to my bus stop and was so distracted the whole time that I walked face-first into a massive fucking spiderweb
It always hits so good
American slop for those without kids is "What if you could escape your shitty wage job but still be able to love your friends and be connected with them."
When you remove the evidence from "evidence-based," what are you left with? That's right: BASED. So you all can shut up with your cringe "data" and your loser "scientific method"
i love talkative cats like yeah meow meow meow you're so real bro

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my former roommates in a crumbling marriage were told by their couple’s therapist that they needed to get a shared hobby, any shared hobby, literally any hobby, so they decided it should be watching mr beast. vivid memories of coming home to seeing them sitting five feet apart on the sofa, watching mr beast with completely blank expressions and occasionally making slightly strained comments
I gasped out loud at this????
I were the therapist I'd be like no....... maybe not like that........
Under the right circumstances a couples therapist could make more money with a divorce than he could with a saved marriage...
ambitious indie project this, surprise box-office hit that, iron lung (production budget: $3mil) is the 'someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, my family is dying' tweet.
set construction: $800
cast & crew wages: $1,200 + uber eats
fake blood (assuming generous discount on bulk purchase): $2,000,000 i am so not kidding i did the math this is nuts
editing: average adult body-weight equivalent in monster energy drinks
update when markiplier announced he's producing the dvd/blu-ray himself i was like cool he's personally supervising the process and then he was like no i mean i'm making them myself at my house and i imagined some kind of complicated gargantuan contraption dutifully chugging along 24/7 blowing up this man's electricity bill and then he was like
anyway if you buy an iron lung dvd/blu-ray: it was made on a printer-sized machine. at markiplier's house.
She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.
if somone made pixel art of mulch id be very happy boy
enjoy your mulch
throwback to the time i didn’t realize that mulch was the name of someone’s fursona

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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honestly one of the all time tweets of all time tbh
had to share-screen in an academic meeting yesterday and everyone started booing me