River Wolf

Listened to a NPR podcast interviewing the author of A Year of Living Biblically, who said something that I’ve heard before but I needed to hear right now in my life.

He talked about how the practice of living piously changed him, made him more cognizant of appreciative of the sacred (despite being an atheist, before/during/after this experimental year). People think that thoughts create action, but he found the reverse: his practice changed his thinking.

Sometimes I avoid building good habits. Okay, usually I avoid building good habits. It doesn’t matter whether I enjoy the activity or not, and it doesn’t matter how much I really want this habit in my life. Paradoxically, I resist.

I read elsewhere that this is a resistance to change. This was reiterated in this NPR podcast. It’s not the change from without that we resist most, the changes we may see in our world or our daily schedules, though certainly we resist those, too. It is in fact the changes that happen within ourselves. When we change our habits and daily practices, the most profound change is ourselves. We become different people. And then we must question who we are. Who were we before? Who are we now? Who can/will we become? And if we can change, what remains the same? Is there are core of self, or soul or spirit, that doesn’t change through the process? If so, which self am “I,” the self that has changed and has become who I am today, or the core that remains the same? Or both? Or neither?

Spiritual practice makes me calmer, more connected, but perhaps even more than that, practice makes me. Or, given that I am questioning the very nature of “me”, practice makes, and what it makes, I’m not fully certain.

So I took up a job at a Chinese summer camp (aka English cram school but the students live there) which turned into over month of living out of a suitcase without days off. (The week before that was moving to a new city for my September position, which was extremely stressful because there were many obstacles for bringing my dog with me, and the week before that was vacation ... such a distant memory.) 

You know how when plants are under stress, they stop growing and start shedding their leaves to just care for the bare minimum in an effort to survive? Yeah, that was me from the beginning of July to now.

Previously I was doing meditation in the evening as part of my evening pre-bedtime activities. However, today I tried it after lunch. One awesome thing about China is the midday rest time, which is also reflected in the school schedule; the last morning class ends at 11:30am and the first afternoon class begins at 2:30pm. I’m not a huge fan of naps when I’m not sleep deprived, so today I tried a 15 minute breath-focused meditation, followed by some tea and quiet reading time. It was perfect; very refreshing, and I felt rejuvenated for the rest of my day. Now, just past 7pm, I’m still feeling the benefits, as I didn’t feel wiped after my last afternoon class.

The omen of blessings received for my Summer Solstice ritual, in which I also did the First Oath (for the Dedicant Path in ADF).

From the Gods: The Magician. The power to make things happen in my life. A definite win for my life right now.

From the Dead: 6 of Wands. Victory and triumph over a preceding dark period in my life (divorce from a person I was with for pretty much all of my 20s), out of which I’ve come out stronger, wiser, and better.

Using the simple ritual text for the First Oath found in the Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year, I completed my First Oath. Though I wrote this First Oath text (a rewriting of the one in Our Own Druidry) a while back, I never actually did it in ritual. It was a little electrifying to actually formally make the oath, though maybe a bit of that is due to it being after drinking the blessings, and I used beer for said Waters of Life? :)

In the ritual, I also honored Brighid (the goddess I connect most with) and Áine for the Summer Solstice.

First Oath

I come before the Ancestors, the Land Spirits, and the Gods To declare myself a Druid I am a seeker of the Old Ways, A follower of the Old Ways made New, A worshipper of the Elder Gods and the Three Kindreds

With this sacred oath, I set my foot upon the Druid’s Path For I seek a relationship with the Kindred And I am cultivating the practice of living well

I vow to seek virtue in my life To strive to do right by my kin, my friends, my community, and myself I vow to make my spirituality real By learning to keep the rites of nature’s cycles

I vow to deepen my understanding of the Old Ways made New Through study and practice To fill myself of the truth of the Druid’s Path

I wrote this forever ago. It’s my favorite morning (or evening) devotional prayer, a way of integrating the Kindreds into a daily habit to make it a more sacred practice. I think it could easily be adapted for the coffee drinkers out there, too. :)

I drink this cup of tea in fellowship
 With my gods and goddesses, the Shining Ones above,
 With my ancestors, the Ancient Ones below,
 And with my neighbors, the Noble Kindred all around me.

This cup holds the heat of the hearth and the poet’s tongue,
 The waters of the sacred wells and rivers,
 And the herbs of the nourishing Earth mother and land spirits.