Vela's musings

Some things “relationships take work” should mean:

It takes work to learn to identify, effectively communicate, and mesh your needs/wants with those of another person

It takes work to actively listen and learn the other person’s communication styles as well as their needs and wants.

It takes work to maintain a relationship by planning activities together and investing in time spent together

Some things “relationships take work” should never mean:

Relationships take an exhausting cycle of constantly fighting and making up

Relationships require you to compromise your core values or change core aspects of who you are

Relationships take conforming to the other person’s expectations even when you don’t want to

Relationships take constantly proving to the other person that you deserve respect and/or love

Relationships require you to try to make yourself feel and want things you don’t actually feel or want - or at least pretend you do

Simple truisms like “relationships take work” can be misused in harmful ways.

Relationships do take work, but that work is supposed to be a team effort to support and care for each other while still honouring your own needs and desires.

If your relationship isn’t a healthy partnership, don’t feel like you have to stick it out just because “relationships take work.”