Not a toaster

It got better

18+

This Friend Is Available To All Ages You Fool

This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going

this is the sort of content i signed up for

i just found out hozier is 6’5”?????? what the fuck was i just supposed to learn that on my own or

if a union will destroy your company then your company should be destroyed.

Spicy opinion: this includes theatre companies.

Spicier opinion: this includes non-profits

crying because its so spicy opinion: video game companies too

i hate when memes become outdated and i have to deprogram myself from referencing them anymore. whenever my mouth says “this is so sad” my brain immediately follows it up with “alexa play despacito” but i’m not ALLOWED to say that anymore

If my parents can use slang from the 80s without even feeling self-conscious then I can use a meme that’s a little stale

This is so encouraging. Alexa play Never Gonna Give You Up

You’re either public property or completely invisible.

Remember there’s a reason no one ever says “Fuck the firefighters!”

I just noticed that’s a hand with a glove around her neck not a scarf

what thef uck

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

Dope as fuck apparently

These are for a colonial officer’s home in Egypt in 1903 in another dimension

i don’t think we really truly appreciate just what bryan fuller did for us when he took the hannibal canon and made it into a homoerotic murder mystery drama with some of the most heartstoppingly beautiful cinematography in the history of television

Instead of paying $1 for a bookmark, you could just use the dollar as a bookmark.

you could just pee anyehere