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@riven-anon
so we don't do syscourse on main. here's where we're gonna post the stuff we have to say on it, if we ever do. and venty/negative shit since we don't do that either. you may or may not follow us here, our main is @riven-system. we block freely, follow your own dni, etc. asks are allowed, of any kind. we'll answer it all here👍
this intro post was written by coal/isaac. don't always expect posts from one person, though. it's more likely to be a lot of anonymous blogging.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i hate my stupid baka life. in a serious way. i feel so so drained. my mood swings are out of hand UGH i was better last week and im crying myself to sleep again today what is happening
posting on #syscourse for the first time is certainly an experience. I came here to post personal experiences with the issue, with nuance, but I'm seeing a lot of just. fighting and hate from multiple sides 😭😭
oops I guess? what have I stumbled upon
Endogenics piss me off because they’re always finding new ways to label themselves… NO you don’t have “ego-states” of your favorite characters you just wanna roleplay being a system.. smh..
Honestly, ego state elaboration and modeling after fictional characters is a far better explanation for a lot of these people than "autonomous identity states that are comparable to alters in CDDs". But that's not a "system" in the same sense- that's just normal human psychology. Like I genuinely think that a lot of them are experiencing ego state elaboration and introjection (non CDD context, anyone can experience introjection!), especially if they experience identity instability such as what is observed in many cases of disorders like BPD.
If they're using "system" loosely in the way one might in IFS therapy or other ego state centered modalities to describe their experience, that's whatever ig, but when they intersect it with CDD experiences or treat them as functionally equivalent to alters, that's where I think it crosses a boundary. I'm not here to tell people what to do, but categorizing it as something akin to a CDD like "I experience that, but without the trauma" demonstrates a lack of understanding of ego states and structural dissociation on their part.
Elaboration of ego states into function based roles that model fiction is possible- and can be argued as an unhealthy coping mechanism. I mean, there are far worse ways to cope but it's still a bit concerning. Saying "I am (character)" does invite detachment from reality if taken too far, which it often is in these cases. The community rewards leaning into it.
See, I'd rather them describe it as elaborated ego states than claim it to be a mechanism separate from CDDs with functionally identical outcomes. Because we know what ego states are, and that elaboration of them is common. It's human. But some people want both, "It's ego state elaboration" and "it's like a CDD, they are headmates that take control" and we know enough about ego states to understand that they are not autonomous.
They can be understood this way- as just "parts" of you that have no independent agency or personal autonomy, and remain equally as meaningful to someone. This ego state got you through something, that ego state helped you understand an aspect of yourself, cool. But when you assign identities, names, pronouns, aesthetics, etc, that can become an issue.
our view on endo systems is more complicated than need be this is a long one oops
when we first learned what plurality is, we learned about it in VERY oversimplified terms, and only about DID. not a lot of nuance, not a lot of other explanation. the things we were told were - you can only get it to the age of around 5 or 6 - It's very very rare - it has to be trauma considered severe by adult standards (not worded like this, but exemplified like it) - it has to be DID (full memory blocks etc) and before we were told this, we immediately went WOW that sounds like us! but then went right back into denial as soon as those criteria were listed. sigh
that began, unfortunately, a phase of really bad mental health where we suppressed everything to the extreme. we HAD plurality, and even to this day I barely remember any of those two years. But we didn't believe it and it hurt us mentally. a lot. Our old host, when we finally did accept it around a year ago (last summer) tried to suppress + silence all of the alters, mostly because a lot of the frequent fronters at that time were fictives. they also believed we were endogenic, as they were an ANP. This was a huge source of shame They soon became a persecutor to the system and were very controlling over everyone in the sys until finally our gatekeeper, Reuben, had enough. It forced a fusion between itself and our host (Teal) to show Teal that we DO have trauma and that we are NOT endogenic. I, Darcy, am that fusion. since we used to believe we were endogenic, I don't blame others for believing the same. That being said, all of the experiences we've had with endogenic "friends" so far have been negative: Multiple people claiming systemhood with no prior research right after we came out to them, and using their supposed alters to get away with shit, or roleplay, or attention seek. One person told us that their childhood trauma was one panic attack and would constantly vent about how hard their life was because of the seemingly sudden and horrific "ptsd" they had because of it. textbook classic stuff. So as you can probably tell, we have a negative stance on endos. We're open to learning but it'll take a lot of proof to get over the past
that's all for right now. More on this later
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i don't wanna be alone anymore. someone please show up why do I have to be cut off when I'm stressed. self isolation sucks why can't we cope a different way we KNOW this shit people!!! talk to me someone just SAY SOMETHING
i just wanna know who i am. splitting or fusion or whatever the fuck this is is SO ANNOYING. i hate feeling empty like this
I'm so done with splitting. please can we get a fucking break.
just let me become normal again. i wish i didnt know i was a system. why do we have to have fucking fictives. all of it is probably fake anyway, why can't i stop pretending?
im so tired of being happy all the time. i feel like im putting on a mask but i dont know how to take it off
