It's been... almost a year since we created this sideblog. And I just realized we don't really have an intro for this blog, so I decided to create one.
We use the name Watcher collectively, and they/them pronouns. Bodily we're 22.
This blog was created with the sole purpose of archiving plural comics, posts on medical and non-medical plurality, plural resources, posts on syscourse, and to see how syscourse evolves and developes over time.
Who are we?
We're a mixed-origin plural system, originally traumagenic but we've gained new members other ways, and because we have traumagenic, endogenic, and willogenic members we've decided to keep origins this way. We suspect we have an undiagnosed dissociative disorder, most likely OSDD. Because of this, we sometimes call ourselves an OSDD system.
We use this blog to reblog general system, plural, comics, or syscourse posts. We will sometimes debate in the syscourse tag, especially anti endos, or sometimes respond to drama.
Syscourse stance
We're pro endo, anti harassment, and pro kindness. Nowadays we lean more neutral, but we support the idea that endogenic systems are systems, plural, and just sharing their experiences.
This blog was created to separate plural stuff from our main account, @watcherwingedcat. Especially when it comes to syscourse. We're not professionals in any way on systems, but we've been researching both DID and dissociative disorders in general since we were thirteen. We've read lots of studies, papers, research, and conclusions from professionals, and we're yet to find a specialist in dissociative disorders, mental health professional, psychiatrist or psychologist who says that non-dissociative systems aren't real.
Our system name is The Void council, we don't really identify with any origin label tough, as we think it only creates division amongst the community. In total, there's twelve of us, in order of formation:
Charlie, or Moss, the host. Bodily 22 years old. He/they/it pronouns. Dog therian (greyhound), jackrabbit therian, barn owl therian, watcherkin, winged catkin, moonhearted and phantomhearted. Child of the moon and lab experiment archetype. Aroace, genderfaun and nonbinary.
Orion, protector. A couple of thousand years old. It/he pronouns. Watcherkin and raptorkin. Aroace and agender. He won't post as regularly as I do, and we don't have a system to sign off our posts, so sometimes I'll be posting and sometimes he will post.
Theo, little. Around 7 or 9 years old. He doesn't really post here, as he doesn't like social media. He/him pronouns, a fox hybrid/kenomimi.
Clementine, positivity holder. 24 years old. She/her pronouns. Human and questioning horsehearted.
Leo, a Leonardo Hamato fictive from ROTTMNT, persecutor. 16 years old. He/it pronouns.
Nero, protector, dissociation holder and co-host. Shapeshifter, took a long while to form, as he was stuck trying to convey some sort of identity. Now he's pretty chill, handles stressful situations and dissociation. We don't really know their role, he's just there to block memories and emotions when needed. Voidkin, ageless. They/them pronouns.
Lana, social protector. She likes cheeseburgers, we think she's around 22-23 years old. Human, she/her pronouns.
Angel, an Angel Dust fictive, emotional protector. He's around 35 years old. Pretty chill, uses he/she pronouns but generally doesn't care a lot about gender.
Kinger, a Kinger fictive. Acts a lot like a dad. He's an old man, don't know exactly his age but maybe even older than Orion, he/him pronouns. Doesn't front often.
Vance, a Vox fictive. We don't know exactly his age (around his thirties), and he's pretty source separate. An anxious mess most of the time, age regresses pretty easily. He/him but doesn't care too much about gender.
Nico, a nonhuman headmate. He's a black fox, probably an adolescent or a child (acts 18 or younger). He/him pronouns. Doesn't talk much when fronting, even less not fronting.
Caine, a Caine fictive from TADC. He looks a lot like his source, and he's source-conected with Kinger, both from the same canon. He/him pronouns.
We're neurodivergent, with autism and ADHD, both diagnosed. Because of this, sometimes we might read the tone of a post wrong, and we may reply with tone tags.
We don't really have a DNI (as they don't work), just don't be an asshole. We're pretty neutral on everything surrounding drama, but we have a general stance on being nice toward others and don't judge other's lives or business in general.
When it comes to syscourse, we're endo friendly (pro endo, leaning neutral because we understand both sides) as we thought we were endogenic at first but with time we discovered we had a traumagenic origin and we're now mixed origins. Generally, we think the drama and in-fighting is pointless and in general rude.
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Hi there, I have a few questions that I havenβt seen answered in the community before, and Iβm wondering if you could help me at all.
My first question is: for any form of nontraumagenic systems, how is it possible for them to have disorder holders (or really, any other βholderβ roles)? Iβm asking this because in CDDs certain parts of the brain receive stimuli differently, as well as being cut off from certain areas (ie. amnesia between alters) due to strong structural dissociation. We even see this in PTSD/CPTSD as well as BPD, the difference is those parts (EPs) only hold traumatic responses, but for the same reason (trauma + strong structural dissociation). So, how could it be possible for a system that doesnβt experience barriers between parts of the brain βholdβ symptoms if thereβs nothing preventing those things from leaking through in the first place?
My second question is: do nontraumagenic systems experience fusion and dormancy? If so, how? Fusion is the process of getting rid of dissociation barriers, which I assume endos donβt have. Or if they did, would they not constantly be experiencing fusion on account of the βnondisorderedβ part? For dormancy, itβs the brains way of saying βwe are safe without this part of the brain, so it is no longer neededβ, in systems whose headmates arenβt trauma responses, how would that βwe are safe partβ of the process look? Is it even possible?
Thanks.
1: I assume so, but it'd probably be a bit different. I myself do not have any specific "holders" but I have seen some endos have things like "stress holders" and such.
Also some endos do have did or osdd and the like, they just don't believe that their trauma and/or disorder directly caused the creation of the system, so they'd probably have something similar.
2: Not entirely sure about the fusion as I've never personally experienced it to my knowledge, but we do have something akin to dormancy!
Way before I considered myself a system, I had a guy, who looking back was probably a headmate, who would care for me while I was age regressing. After my mental health got better and I stopped regressing, he kind of left.
By the way, you're not punk if you're anti-endo or dick-riding psychiatrists. Stop tagging your posts as "pluralpunk" or "systempunk", but then turning around and adding "anti endo", "endos dni", "endos fuck off". Do you think autism wasn't real before? That everyone has easy and quick access to doctors and therapy? That something needs to be recognized by The Smart for it to be considered worthy of respect and support? You're not punk. You're disrespectful.
You're also included if you think all endogenic systems "just don't remember their trauma". Stop speaking over them. Stop dictating what they are or are not.
Plural Catch-22: the path to happiness is lined with people who will call you fake for trying to walk it.
Fuck them. Walk it anyway.
Image ID in alt text and under the cut.
Image one:
Red, drawn repeatedly in boxes where she experiences intense suffering: "Why am I more palatable to the Average Joe if I paint myself crying and (censored) and suffering and dying a thousand times over than if I draw my system smiling?"
Part of the system is drawn smiling: Red, Hawthorne, and Gwen.
Image two:
"It's pathologization, of course."
A drawing of Red as the Vitruvian Man, wings and tail and broken halo extended, head duplicated. Figure one: the broken must suffer to be broken in a way that matters. Figure two: if you're not suffering, then I can ignore you. Figure three: if you're weird and happy, then you're a lying, cheating bitch who deserves to be hung in the public square.
"If you're not normal, then you're suffering."
"If you're not suffering, then you're normal. Get with the program and stop pretending you're strange."
Image three:
Red, sitting curled up and turned away, broken halo and a devil's tail. "I hate it. I hate that most of the Western, colonized world sees my existence as inherently awful. I hate that my existence is still something to cure. I hate that a system broadcasting their trauma is treated as more real than one broadcasting their joy."
See, what bothers me is the double standard of it all. We're sick if we're multiple and miserable. We're liars if we're multiple and happy. We were never multiple at all if we fuse, and people will take every chance they get to prove we were faking it in the first place. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, and double-damned if you try something else.
What does anyone want from us? For us to shut up and disappear so you can call us fake again? For us to drag ourselves over hot coals until we're in enough pain to satisfy you? For us to wring out every drop of our trauma history for your entertainment, just so you can discard us the second you have a different opinion about anything at all?
The plural community's not exempt from this issue. You know which systems get reblogged the most? Which systems get their words taken as Expert Advice? Who gets heard, who gets thought of, who gets boosted? Have you ever noticed that some systems are palatable and others aren't, and that people regularly throw the unpalatable systems in harm's way to justify their own reality as "one of the good ones?"
Do you really think Western medicine thinks any of us are "the good ones?" There are no good madmen, only quiet ones.
#yyyup! #OP let me know if i'm diverging from the original intended meaning of your post too much here #but i feel like this phenomenon intersects with our transfemininity #in the sense that βtransfemβ one of the less acceptable types of system to be on sysblr. #we operate under the assumption that our blog is temporary and conditional. #it feels like it's pretty much inevitable that one day we'll say the wrong thing and everyone will dogpile us for it. #like for example: maybe we talk in-depth about ageplay and get pedojacketed as a result. #all of a sudden we've lost the public's favor! we were a bad apple all along! ohhh i always knew something was up with her! #that's not a type of system we respect! she doesn't get to represent systemhood! we're good systems unlike her. #anyway#let's all push forward together and back each other up when we get hate for it alright?
You're spot on. Trans and queer systems (doubly so for transfem systems, especially here on Tumblr Dot Staff-Misogyny), disabled systems who can't be "aesthetic" about their disabilities, Black and Indigenous systems who dare to be themselves online, systems with littles who don't want to live in the sexless safe box or adults who can't handle it all, systems struggling with "inconvenient" symptoms and comorbidities, systems who show the "wrong" kinds of suffering, systems with hostile members or infighting that affects outside people, systems who've been fused or want fusion, systems who don't want fusion, median systems, polyfragmented systems, tiny systems, systems that don't fit the American medical model of "DID or bust (with a totally dysfunctional, miserable, fusion-craving system of 5-15 people that has maybe one fictional introject at most)", systems that don't fit the current community notion of what's normal or common...
Plenty of people don't fit the palatable system mold, especially if they're dealing with other systemic bullshit like racism and transmisogyny and ableism, and too many systems get harassed off the internet or lolcowed for it. Doubly so if we find ways to be happy with ourselves. And it's absolute bullshit.
The only palatable system is a white, abled, patriarchy-friendly-while-arguably-being-against-systemic-discrimination system that never fucks up in any meaningful way, never contradicts itself or disagrees, is distinct enough to be neatly stereotyped and categorized (unless it's more convenient to other people if they can treat you like you're not plural at all, in which case it doesn't matter), never does anything challenging or weird or inconvenient unless other people benefit from it, never takes up space or celebrates their existence because they're only ever miserable in the ways other people enjoy watching, only ever parades their trauma for the public's entertainment without presenting anything based in systemic problems, and disappears the moment their suffering isn't inspirational or scientifically interesting.
Made a mistake, said the wrong thing, hurt someone, displeased a stranger? Too bad, palatable systems don't do that, and no one ever learns from mistakes. Get banned. Get harassed. Get fakeclaimed. I see it every day. I see it every week. Someone is always the butt of the joke, even in the inclusive community. Someone is always the scapegoat. Someone gets posted on a website and doxxed for the crime of existing inconveniently for the status quo.
It's bullshit.
None of us are "the good ones" to other people. None of us are as palatable as anyone wants to think we are. Bob on the street still sees us all as serial killers, permanent victims, liars, freaks, nutjobs, all of the above. Sally at the store thinks we're a conspiracy theory. Psychology professors still sometimes teach that the existence of any sort of plurality is a hoax (ask how I know). The spaces that are supposed to accept us still regularly tell us to shut up and go to therapy, always assuming that therapy matches our values and goals, that therapy is available at all. (And fuck you if you have trauma from psychiatry, apparently.)
I want a world where we stop beating the shit out of each other and ourselves trying to fit a mold that doesn't exist. I want to see the plural community start working together for once in our fucking lives instead of infighting over shit that Bob and Sally don't care about for the next twenty years.
So damn it, I've got your back. Let me know if you ever want to chat, or if you want backup contact info somewhere less likely to ban someone for being a trans woman in public.
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System mapping is the process of making a model of your system in some way.
Many systems make system maps. A system list is a system map in one of its simplest forms, but there are a lot of other kinds of system maps that people might make to get more information. Some system maps might show internal structure and lines of communication. Some show relationships or opinions. Some show common themes and differences between system members. Etc.
There's really no wrong way to make a map. What matters is that the map is useful to you- it should give you information that helps you work with your system better. It might give you a better understanding of why your system works the way it does, or it might tell you who might need support or who might need to work on establishing communication.
Communication
Sometimes, it can be useful to map out who in your system can talk to whom. This is a very simple kind of map to make, and it gives you useful information about your system that ranges from "huh, these two can't reach each other" to "there's a gap here- are we missing someone?"
Lay out every known system member on a piece of paper. If two people can talk to each other, draw a line between them. If the communication is one-way only, draw an arrow. If two people can't reach each other, don't connect them. If two people can reach each other indirectly but you don't know who's linking them together like that, draw a line with a gap in it.
You might also add dotted lines for weak or unreliable communication, or other kinds of lines for other special cases.
Relationship
It can be helpful to know how different system members get along (or don't). Relationships in a system can be mapped with something similar to a shipping diagram, and looking at the resulting map can make it very obvious if someone is overall liked, disliked, rejected, etc. It can also point out interesting patterns in who gets along and who doesn't.
Draw your system members arranged in a circle. Then, draw color-coded (or otherwise coded- make a key) lines between members that like each other, dislike each other, or have other important opinions about each other.
Structure
Sometimes, drawing the arrangement of your system can teach you how to work with it better.
If two people feel close to each other (e.g. they may have unusually easy communication, common interests or themes, common issues, etc.), then draw them close together. If two people feel far apart (e.g. poor communication, lots of differences and disagreements, don't really understand each other), then draw them far apart.
By the end of this, you have a map that shows you which people are clustered together and which people are disconnected, rejected, or otherwise pushed away. This can be very useful when trying to bring any cast-out people closer to the rest of your group, as it can make isolation very obvious.
You can also map other aspects of system structure. For example, you might consider mapping the relationship between the different places that people can occupy in your system (front, back, etc.):
This kind of map can be very abstract sometimes. We have a few structure maps that we've made over the years, and they probably don't make a ton of sense to people that aren't in our group, but they've helped us a lot.
You might also consider mapping associations. What colors are associated with your system members? Do they have common themes or imagery? Does everyone associated with the color green have a hard time talking to people associated with blue? Are powerful people usually associated with certain species?
Timeline
Sometimes, it can be helpful to make a timeline of important life events that happened to your group. If you have guesses about when some people showed up or changed, then putting those dates on the timeline can give you insight into what those people might be dealing with.
Content warning for trauma, suicide and egocide, and general unpleasantry if you read this one. We censored the most sensitive parts (and those we'd simply prefer to keep private), but it's still heavier than the other maps in this post.
Headspace
If your headspace is possible to map, then sometimes mapping it can teach you something about your system. It doesn't have to be very detailed to help, nor does it have to be entirely logical.
We don't have the one headspace map we've made in easy reach, unfortunately, and it's out of date. That said, conventional land mapping tricks will often work for places in headspace. Recreating headspace in a game like The Sims or Minecraft is also an option.
If multiple places overlap, then consider making a pop-up map or otherwise representing that overlap- it can be useful information. Likewise, if parts of headspace correspond to parts of your body or parts of your system, then it can be helpful to make a note about that.
Adapting for Large and Complex Systems
Larger systems may not all fit on one piece of paper. Complex systems may not fit on a 2D surface at all- there might be layers involved that need a 3D surface. System mapping still works for these cases, but you may need to approach it a little differently.
Try mapping your system's subgroups instead of individual people.
Try making multiple maps for different "regions" of the system. Consider including information on how those maps connect together.
Make good use of color coding and keys to pack more information into a smaller space.
Try mapping by using digital drawing programs and tools. A digital canvas can be much larger than a physical one.
Try mapping in 3D. Make a sculpture, stack sheets of paper, fold the paper, use the back side, draw a 3D shape, and experiment with other ways of arranging the map to better reflect your situation.
Use multiple kinds of map. Each map is likely to have part of the overall picture, and looking at them together is likely to give you useful information about how it all fits together.
Finally: system mapping is not required. It can be helpful for some systems, but it won't work for everyone, and some systems find that it harms them or makes their lives harder to live. If mapping doesn't work for you, then that's okay- there are plenty of other ways to get to know your system better. Do what works.
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does anyone know why the fuck there's bots again in the syscourse tags? it's getting annoying. it's the same person than last time? why does this even happen?
If you want drama, go to #mitsukicourse
If you want syscourse, get a piece of paper and write "endos bad" and then get another piece of paper and write "endos good", then put those two pieces of paper in a drawer, then open and close that drawer repeatedly, and you'll get approximately the same experience.
If you want the bots to go away, pray to whatever divine beings you believe in that I get eaten by a bear, because Tumblr can't hear you scream.
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I don't know why so many people are in this day and age supporting endos . They use system terms and say they have a dissociative disorder when first of all you need trauma for that. I wish people would stop faking serious mental illness. It is harmful and abelist.
It's a trauma disorder. Not something you can form to be quirky. Stop claiming to be systems and stop using system terms. Find your own terms and stop saying your an endo system.
Anti Endos shouldn't have to have this same conversation over and over again. If people would just accept the fact you can't be a system without trauma there wouldn't be so much discourse.
Endos have no research to prove that you can form a system without trauma. If they do it's always only one site, and it's based off a different culture. Stop Faking Disorders.
Quick note, fakeclaiming and the validity of endogenic systems really, really doesn't need to be in the Actually DID tag. It's the tag for discussing personal experiences with DID, not how horrible and fake you think a different group of people is. Please keep it out. (In reference to the post you made after this one. We were going to respond to that, but this one made more sense.)
The majority of "system terms" were created by a mix of plural and plural-adjacent communities. Traumagenic, endogenic, and others. (And some have tried to find different terms - the argument against them changed from "you're appropriating language" to "you're appropriating experiences")
That's also not how "system" works. A system is used in reference to systems of personality and identity systems, which are used for CDDs, personality, identity, multiplicity, self-multiplicity, Internal Family Systems, and even Freud's theory of Ego and ID. It's not something used exclusively for those with CDDs - the Theory of Structural Dissociation explains this when it defines system as "an assembly of related elements" and that "the personality as a system can be understood as being comprised of various psychobiological states or subsystems that function in a cohesive manner" (as in CDDs are a disruption of standard systems of function, not that system is exclusive to CDDs). It's also the name for an entire branch of psychology.
Also, stop watering down ableism. "This group is inherently ableist because they share part of a single experience with a disorder" isn't part of its definition.
Complex dissociative disorders are post-traumatic disorders, yes. Systems themselves, however, aren't synonymous with CDD, as we've already shown. Somebody saying they're a system isn't claiming to have a CDD - endogenic systems are not claiming they have a CDD without trauma. Just that their multiplicity didn't come from trauma. Because CDDs have many, many, many more symptoms than multiplicity. This is how mental disorders work. Pathalogical versions of normal non-pathalogical experiences.
Why do you believe that just because somebody is part of another culture, it's suddenly impossible for them to call themself an endogenic system, or experience non-traumagenic multiplicity? You're claiming that people in whatever you label a "different culture" (which can be a very wide variety of things) can't make their own choices about the language they use, simply because of who they are. That's really just racism.
To further our understanding of religious possession experiences by focusing on personality, cognitive, and quality of life outcomes. Data c
PDF | The aim of this paper is to examine if the diagnostic criteria of DSM-5 are able to differentiate between non-pathological religious p
There is research. Research, studies, theories, brain scans, acknowledgement by scientific literature, and DID experts. You'd to have to specify what "one site" is, because something like Wikipedia isn't the same as PubMed, Taylor and Francis, or another file host like Dropbox and Drive.
People who identify as both transgender and plural (more than one person sharing a body), including those with a diagnosis of Dissociative I
There's more, but we've run out of allowed links. Here's a list with a lot more.
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"endos are so icky and gross and even if they're not faking they probably just have hidden trauma or BPD!!"
shut up. ACTUALLY shut the fuck up.
you use our inclusive resources and call it reclaiming. you dehumanize the people. the tens to hundreds to thousands of people in our heads. because you don't think we exist. you attack us. yell at us. throw us onto the ground. put the bad ones at the front of the line and but the good ones in the back.
you desensitize and dehumanize and call us 'an invasive species'.
AN INVASIVE SPECIES.
way to go!! good job!! good job bullying people, attacking others and kicking back at your own community. making people turn themselves inside out. to try and find trauma they weren't ready for to feel validated. try to traumatize themselves so at least some of their alters will have an excuse.
how disgusting of a person do you have to be?
to think this way?
to chew every endo up? and spit them out like gum?
why do you act this way, i wonder? then you pretend you need safe spaces away from the minority. pretend that its a necessity? when it really isn't?
you all disgust me.
