I Hope It's Nice Where You Are

You are providing a vital life service when you do this and your magic ears are appreciated.

And then shower us with love afterwards when we freak out about having wasted your time

A two inch hornet isn’t gonna awkwardly shove itself inside me and say “yeah it’s big right”

this post was written by a jrpg villain whose origin story was working at walmart

My only advice for y'all about tarot is that the fool and death do not mean what u assume they mean and u should relax

Ppl will pull death and have a twenty minute panic attack then pull the tower and be like that doesn't bother me

“dream job” bitch i don’t have one i don’t dream about being employed i dream about living in a cottage making soap and painting titties. capitalism is a nightmare

Play us a tune Jazz Man

theres a snake in my flute

MUSIC NOODLE

I love him

My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

reading this post feels like doing 90 in a 35 zone

Honestly, I thought that this decade seemed so long because I stopped binge drinking everyday in 2009, but like... It's really been a lot of shit, huh?

#this does not fill me with confidence

yeah the glass sucks but it’s still no match for our shitty weak bears

The bears made this sign

there’s literally nothing stupid about pacific rim sorry your pea brain doesnt comprehend the transcendent beauty of soulmates killing monsters together