sano mua isiks

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

Yesterday’s Naruto runners are today’s Fortnite dancers.

“Wizard, The”

This is The Wizard, reblog in 35 seconds to reveal the secrets of the center of the universe and abolish old fashioned gender roles.

The Wizard of New Zealand is not just legally named “The Wizard” so he can appear on his driver’s licence that way.  He is actually, literally, officially, the Wizard of New Zealand and was appointed to that role by Prime Minister Mike Moore in 1990.  

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

A++ addition

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

my gaydar’s so bad i didn’t even realize i was gay

A Rap Battle is literally just 2 dudes writing poems about each other.

When he says he’s 5 minutes down the road

I wish I could go back 6 years when none of this would have made sense to me

It’s all fun and games until someone looses and eye. It’s also fun and games until someone finds and eye. Really it’s all fun and games until the number of eyes changes.

This is so cute!

The type of quality content I like to see

Plants communicate with each other using methods like chemicals, so the smell of fresh cut grass is the tortured screams of millions of blades of grass

I’m so glad they aren’t around

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

Praise natural selection

GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

this is so relevant to my interests 

I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post

Also important to note that megalodon is theorized to still be alive,possibly living in the darkest depths of the ocean. They haven’t found signs of its extinction

scientists: “we haven’t seen a megalodon in quite some time now, let’s just hope it’s exstinct”

This whole post is my JAM not gonna lie I am fascinated by massive prehistoric animals

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

Demön