reminder for all the jewish people out there: your goyische friends/family/roommates might start putting up lights and trees soon. this is part of the "christmas" celebration, a holiday that recognizes the birth of santa claus. jesus christ brings all the children presents and puts them under a big tree! its like their version of tu bishvat its on december 25th every year, so the day actually changes on the hebrew calendar. its their most major holiday and its only one day long! how peculiar. you can support your friends by putting small gifts in the biggest sock you can find or by finding a little hanging decoration called an "ornament" which they will put on their "tree". if they put it towards the top this is a huge compliment in their culture

psychiatrist just finished my evaluation and they said i have a curse most ancient

the lion does not concern himself with where the light source in his drawing is

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

cursebearing hips

Basically i like when theres pillows and blankets

god they're so hot

when i was a kid my Getting To Sleep technique was visualizing a child-sized shriveled up mummy with big piercing eyes that would stand silhouetted in the doorway & stare at me & probably attack if i so much as opened my eyes after getting into bed & this technique caused me to develop a lifelong nighttime-induced paranoia & it still takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. so i wouldnt recommend that

Someone should invent a word for when you’re jumping and popping

pumping

Not quite but I would never correct a woman

im a white boy

*collars you* You’re my pet now