I read a post where two users were arguing about something concerning Achilles, and user B responded something like this: "Achilles and Deidamia are canon, and Patroclus and Achilles aren't."
Yes, me giving an unsolicited opinion, but I'll do it anyway, and I'll start with a fact: there is no canon in Greek mythology. There are many versions of the same myth depending on the period, place, and region where it's told, so there's hardly a canon in Greek mythology. Homer's Iliad may or may not be canon, since it was also written long after the epics about the Trojan War. There are thousands of versions of the same myth, and none of them would be "canon"; rather, it depends on which version each person prefers.
Second, going back to the canon, it also depends on the version whether Achilles and Deidamia were together. If we base it solely on the Iliad, no, they weren't together, because Deidamia isn't even mentioned in the Iliad. She appears much later in other versions, such as the Achilleid, where it's recounted that Achilles disguised himself as a woman on Skyros. In that version, in my opinion, it wasn't really a relationship because Achilles raped Deidamia, and Neoptolemus was born from that union, while Deidamia stayed with Achilles because they already had a child.
Depending on the version, Achilles may or may not have been with Deidamia or with other lovers mentioned, such as Iphigenia, Briseis, Medea, and others. It all depends on which version each person prefers.
Regarding Patroclus and Achilles, even if it's not seen as romantic, I think it could be one of Achilles' most important relationships within the Iliad, however you look at it, and it's the one that has been most minimized in modern portrayals, such as Troy from 2004. It wasn't until about ten years ago that the idea of Achilles and Patroclus being lovers began to be more normalized.
But even in antiquity, many assumed they were lovers and had the same arguments we have today about whether they were lovers or not, and that just makes me think that their relationship, even if it wasn't romantic, is so relevant that we have to discuss whether they were lovers or not.
