A Chronicle of the Light

Gee, Tumblr would probably really hate it if you shared and spread this damning article … To the surprise of absolutely none of Tumblr’s LGBTQ users, it turns out the independent NYC human rights agency Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) found that Tumblr’s ham-fisted adult content ban in December 2018 disproportionately targeted LGBTQ users. The CCHR’s investigation revealed Tumbler’s moderation algorithms is demonstrably biased against queer content. As part of the settlement, Tumblr was obligated to review their prejudicial anti-gay moderation policies. Even more mortifyingly, they’ve also had to hire an expert on sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI) issues and provide unconscious bias training to their moderators. I frankly doubt Tumblr has learned a thing from this humbling experience. Just recently the Tumblr algorithm flagged three ancient posts of mine as violating their terms. All three “offenders” were vintage homoerotic beefcake images (softcore by modern standards) roughly 50 – 65-years-old by Bruce of Los Angeles, Bob Mizer and Tom of Finland. (These are of course pioneering queer artists who routinely faced censorship and imprisonment in the fifties and sixties. Plus ca change!). They've been visible on my page - corrupting viewers -  for years at this point. I appealed all three immediately. Only the Tom of Finland one was approved. The other two are now hidden. So, they haven't learned much. Apparently, Tumblr – who loves to declare how hip, youthful, inclusive and progressive their values are - wants to restore trust with their queer users. I’d recommend we remember their hypocrisy when Pride rolls around and Tumblr splashes rainbow flags everywhere and attempts to pink wash their image.

In honour of Pride Month, this is worth a reblog! Don’t buy into Tumblr’s hypocritical “pink washing.” 

Don’t forget the dad puns for vicious mockery

First precinct: shallow water, easy crossing. Beware of the waterfall; do not descend until the path opens. Second precinct: stronger, colder current. The whirlpool of the gate is treacherous and can be passed only with a freezing spell. Do not approach whirlpool until spell has taken full effect. Third precinct: barely an inch of water, walkable. Do not walk. Run. Do not look back. Do not stop. Fourth precinct: breathe. If you are still alive and on your feet, breathe. Proceed with caution; the Dead are stronger here. The next gate will appear to be a waterfall only a few feet high into another part of the river, but this is deceptive. A bridge spell is necessary. Do not, under any circumstances, enter the water past the fourth gate waterfall.  Fifth precinct: fatal to enter current. Overwhelmingly strong, treacherously fast, leaches memories and life. Stay on bridge until sixth gate. Beware attacks from Dead in the water while crossing bridge. Fifth gate is a “waterclimb”; spell should take you upwards with the water. Sixth precinct: Shallow pool. No danger from water; unfortunately this leaves Dead free to attack with ease. Sixth gate is a circle of dry ground that must be summoned. Necromancer is advised to do this with haste, before the stronger Dead come to investigate the disturbance of their entrance. Seventh precinct: Fire, from horizon to horizon. An arch can be created. Eigtht precinct: Dark water, with flares floating on the surface. Avoid flares at all costs. Necromancers should not linger here or proceed any further. Be warned that past this precinct, final death is nearly an inevitability. The gate is said to be a well of darkness. Ninth precinct: Stars.

The Farm-to-Table model of soul consumption

Dont forget, aged souls taste better, they may not look as shiny and pretty from age but the taste is worth it

No, thats just what the soul snobs and the soul industry want you to think. “Oh, this soul was only harvested two years ago? Ewwww. I only eat souls aged a minimum of twenty years!”

Do they taste better on a different plane of existence? Is an aged soul better in a pub in hell or a restaurant in Sigil? Freshly harvested on Earth?

The flavor depends on origin and age. Where you consume it has no impact.

NO! PLEASE DO NOT EAT UNAGED SOULS UNLESS YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW ABYSSAL SPECIES CAPABLE OF PROCESSING THE TOXINS! FRESH SOULS ARE VERY POISONOUS UNLESS PROPERLY AGED!!

Good points! Please remember to check the warning labels on your medications to see if its safe to consume with souls!

Unless you are specifically of fiendish or abyssal descent, raw souls are toxic and can kill you! Please be safe in your consumption!

This is a common misconception, due to enzymes in raw souls reacting with pewter plates common in the middle ages people came to believe it was the soul that poisoned them. Same thing happened with tomatoes.

Um, no, because someone else tried to pull a Thomas Jefferson and ate a whole soul raw at a dinner party and fuckin died, my dude. One of the other founding fathers, iirc. John Hancock? American history wasn’t my greatest subject.

I thought the problem with soul consumption was the unsanitary conditions of the processing cabals, like entire imps falling into the vats. As described by Unctuous Sin-Clear’s “The Morass” made Sinator Rosevelt spit his soul out at the table I hear.

While the lacking oversight and terrible conditions of the soul-processing cabals formed after the Sindustrial Revolution definitely didn’t help, the toxicity of raw souls was still a thing even before that. Raw souls are not always deadly, I will admit, to those not of abyssal or fiendish descent, but they can make you extremely ill. Its a bit like the lactose intolerance of human and humanoid cultures who did not develop around the raising and keeping of cows, sheep, or goats. But, y'know, the symptoms are worse than mere nausea and diarrhea.

*frantic note-taking*

This’ll really help with my demonic history degree

Ooh, what era are you studying? Ive always been especially interested in the Lilith Wars and the subsequent rise of the Sulphuric Suffragettes

I’m mainly studying The Old King’s Era and how that affected history! The Lilith Wars shortly after that really changed everything, like overthrowing the King and establishing a Queendom, so that’s included as well :)

Oooh, yeah, the soul shortages of the time were definitely a whole Thing, weren’t they? I guess they would have contributed a lot to the civil unrest that characterized the end of the Old King’s era

Yes, soul shortages contribute up to 37% of the cost of revolutions and or wars, which I find fascinating

Wait, only 37%? I thought it was more?

No, the rest is really generally just disliking a ruler or overthrowing them for the sheer fun of it

Yeah, that’s fair.

@triruntu

@elodieunderglass uhhhhhh… Birb?

Bunjy I think that’s a Dragon.

I know but please let me cross the streams just this once

REBLOGGING PHOENIX GOOSE FOR BIRFDAY

@zanpyr