it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

I just purchssed the rights to the deltarune musical for 850,000$

Thank you sensitive pervert. This will save Tenna’s odds of winning the sexyman poll

Dont know who/what that is, this was purely a business decision to extract money from children

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

the idea that a sex scene in fiction is fundamentally useless/simply for audience titillation UNLESS they’re fucking infodumping exposition while they bone or something is so funny and myopic to me. like, you really genuinely believe for real that there is NOTHING to be gained about your understanding of a story or characters simply from how they approach and engage in sex? really for real?

When I was like 6 I thought pizza looked sooo gross and sloppy and nasty it ANNOYED me every time an adult asked if I'd like some and I felt it necessary to tell them I would never ever ever even touch something soooo totally barfingly DISGUSTING as ANY PIZZA but you know what, I still enjoyed watching the ninja turtles, I still readily accepted that pizza just meant a lot to michelangelo as a person with a different experience from my own

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got