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the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

1. If you see this post, highly recommend taking it as an opportunity to set a timer for 15 minutes and switch over to ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY. if after those 15 minutes, you want to go back to scrolling, that's okay!

2. Huge shout out to this popping up in my notifs often, bc I do go back to activity.

The Rodeo Rule: you only have to do it for the first time once.

The Rohan Rule: if you are at a social function full of new people and you want to be liked, find someone doing important work like setup or food prep and offer to help.

The Tutorial Mode Rule: to navigate an unfamiliar situation where you fear you will mess up an interaction, preface the interaction by mentioning that you've never done this before, and let them know if you have a specific concern or question.

The Rocket Science Rule: most new things you want to try seem very complicated but are simple when taken step by step.

The [X] Will Remember That Rule: if you need to make small talk with the same person on a regular basis, try to save one fact or current event in their life from a given conversation and bring it up next time you talk.

you only have to do it

for the first time once.

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I'm sharing it again because a couple days ago I was reading a book on ancient Mesopotamia (I don't have it in front of me right now to name the author but she's pretty great; the title is "Between Two Rivers"), and I learned about this palace they were exploring in the 1920s when archeologists found a room with a bunch of artifacts in it from different time periods, only all on the same layer. Usually, you find older stuff in deeper layers and newer ones closer to the surface. Scholars at the time weren't sure what they were looking at, until they deciphered the script on one of the objects and realized it was a label.

Y'all.

The world's oldest known museum was in this princess's palace, in ancient Mesopotamia.

They had stuff in this room that predated the invention of writing, stuff that would have been ancient even to the folks who first compiled the collection. And they labeled it and kept it and honored their past, because people have not stopped being fundamentally people in thousands and thousands of years.

I think it's like. You need vivid experiences that can't be easily repeated. You need elemental things. I don't mean this in a crunchy hippie just-try-yoga way I mean this in a way that's like...we're inside all the time and most things we experience are scheduled ahead of time. When there are sidewalks, we follow them, and there's always some boring place to go. You need things that no one has any control over and that no one can sell for money.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.