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everything is embarrassing

megumi fushiguro x reader

tags/cw: fluff, mentions of suicide, anxiety, nerves, awkward teenage romance, crushes, yuji & nobara are good friends, megumi is awkward, maybe ooc, slightly ooc, kissing

desc: you have a crush on megumi

a/n will be at the end :)

The wind brushed gently through your hair whilst rustling the blooming petals from the trees creaking branches around you, cicadas buzzing in the distance, echoing the sound you feel that the constant heat brings. Birds whistle and sing talkatively to one another, singing in time to the flap of their wings. A scent of plum blossoms and pine wood is carried by the breeze, the notes of a cologne you’ve become intimately familiar with since starting as a student here.

Fushiguro. He must be nearby.

Looking up from your textbook, you watch the footpath at the top of stairs behind you, following as Megumi walks along it, hands in his pockets, slowing his steps for the sake of allowing Yuji to catch up with him. Glancing over his shoulder, he locks eyes with you for a moment, expression going soft for the smallest moment until Yuji pats his shoulder, pulling Megumi’s attention away from you and back to his best friend.

You’re wishing you’d done something. Waved, smiled, something. You groan in annoyance, turning back to the open textbook in front of you, trying to follow along with the paragraphs of what feels like incoherent gibberish.

“God! Stop pining after that loser” Nobara groans from across you, rolling her eyes so hard you’re worried she’ll burst a blood vessel.

“He’s just one of those moody, ‘I'm better than you because I don't talk’ types, don’t waste your time on him” She scoffs, flipping the page of her own textbook.

You sigh at your friend's strong and stubborn stance about him, knowing she won’t let up on that opinion.

A part of you is worried she’s right, that every conversation you’ve had with him, every shared glance, exchanged snicker and smile was never anything at all. The thought dampens your mood a whole bunch, so you tend to avoid it.

“You’re right” you close your textbook, knowing you aren’t studying anymore. “He’s not that special, it’s just a crush, I’ll get over it.”

“You better” Nobara huffs, crossing her arms in disbelief of your statement. “Or I’ll make you get over it.”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

The bell signaling the end of the school day rings through the quickly filling hallways and you follow the lines of students eager to get to whatever plans the afternoon holds for them, keeping your head down as you do so.

Nobara had already left to go shopping. She had been talking about how good the first day of summer break sales were going to be. You planned to join her after stopping by your home to drop your bag off, wanting to get the literal weight off your shoulders and change into some nicer clothes. Plus, the walk gave you a chance to think over, well, everything.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

Finally heading towards the city to meet Kugisaki for dinner and shopping, you look around you, admiring the cherry blossom trees and the fruitful bushes of hydrangea blooming brightly in the warm summer weather.

The flowering bush lingers in your vision whilst your feet continue down the smoothly paved walkway. The sweet but dull scent of cherry blossoms seems to slip between the more obvious notes of fresh, dewy greenery.

It’s a welcomed fragrance, reminding you of the boy you ought to start forgetting. Lively chatter from the approaching city can be heard faintly behind the sound of your music blasting through your headphones, reminding you of your waiting friend.

The reminder urges you to quicken your pace a little and you pull out your phone to text Nobara and tell her that you’ll be at the meeting place shortly. By the time you’ve pocketed your phone once again, you spot said girl waving and jumping up and down in the crowd, making sure you can see her.

Smiling, you wave back, setting your headphones back in their case.

“Hey!” Nobara beams at you as you approach, pulling you into a side hug, since it is all she can manage while holding the bags filled with her many earlier purchases. “Funny story, I ran into Yuji and Megumi while shopping earlier, they were hanging out together too.”

Nodding in acknowledgement of her story, you hum as she talks, ignoring the disgustingly joyous leap your heart makes at the mention of Megumi’s name. “So they’re doing well I assume? Did you guys talk much?” You ask, showing genuine interest in what she has to say.

“I’m doing pretty well, yeah!” A cheery, familiar voice says from beside you, making you whip around– Only to be faced with Yuji Itadori and his friend Megumi standing with his hands in his pockets a little behind the boy.

To say your mind went blank would be an understatement. All your thoughts ceased to exist as soon as you made eye contact with Megumi.

Nobara, seeing your very obviously surprised expression, rushes to save your ass from total embarrassment. “I ran into them!” She quickly explains. “Like I said! And I was just about to mention that I invited them to hang out!”

Reeling your shock back in, you try to smile welcomingly, though you’re sure it looks pretty horrific. “OH! Alright! That makes sense, sounds fun!” You force a small laugh, glancing down at your feet.

Yuji grins, not seeming to notice your very terrible job at trying to mend the situation, and hands both you and Nobara a bubble tea. She must’ve sent them to buy one before you came, which is actually really sweet. For her to think of that and for him to go do it. You forget how caring Nobara is at times.

Gratefully, you take the drink from him, feeling the flush on your face ease as you sip on the cold, sweet tea. Nobara clears her throat, diverting the conversation to another topic.

“So, what was everyone thinking for dinner? I could go for some hotpot right now, but I’m open to suggestions,” She smiles, glancing between the three of you for some input. Both you and Megumi shift on your feet, refraining from interfering with the decision.

Yuji’s eyes light up at the mention of hotpot, nodding eagerly in agreement. “I know a really good and affordable place! It’s nearby actually!” He says, grabbing Nobara’s wrist and pulling her ahead, assuming you and Megumi will just follow behind.

He runs off too quickly for you to keep up and you somehow manage to lose both of them in the crowds of people, even with Yuji’s vibrant coloured hair. The shifting and moving crowd does nothing to help.

“Shit” both you and Megumi curse once you’ve realised the predicament you’ve found yourselves in. Glancing beside you, Megumi looks towards you, annoyance etched on his generally unreadable features. However, the annoyance is not directed towards you and he’s somehow able to convey this through his expression alone.

“Any idea you know the place he’s talking about?” You ask with a soft huff of exasperation, hoping Megumi knows where Yuji and Nobara are headed. Your hopes are quickly trampled when he shakes his head, grabbing your wrist to guide you through the crowd until you reach the outskirts of the street, where you’re able to stop without being shoved into constantly. How had you forgotten about the summer festival?

Megumi’s eyes dart around once you reach the safety of the sidelines, trying to spot Yuji and Nobara even though you both know they’re long gone. “I’m going to punch him” He mumbles with a huff, pulling his phone from his pocket to text the boy. You mimic the action, sending a string of panicked messages to Nobara. They all fail to deliver. The amount of people must be interfering with the signal.

Megumi also seems to make this conclusion, shoving his phone back in his pocket, shoulders stiff with tension.

“No reception either?” You ask, also putting your phone away. He nods slowly in response to your question, trying to figure out the next step from here. He inhales slowly, standing up a little straighter.

“Come on” He beckons with a small wave of his hand. “We may as well get some food ourselves. I doubt they’ll show up anytime soon.”

Slightly flustered at the thought of having dinner alone with Megumi, you can’t argue with his reasoning. You nod and follow closely behind him, matching his quick pace, weaving through the bodies of people until he slows to a stop, causing you to do the same at a break in the crowd. Standing in front of a small mom and pop restaurant, you cast a sideways glance towards Megumi.

He’s quick to meet your gaze, nodding towards the building and starting inside, holding the door for you in a polite manner. The restaurant is filled with a warm, musky aroma. The unmistakable smell of incense fills your senses, covering the scent of smoky meat and mouth-watering vegetable steam that lingers beneath.

The waitress at the front door smiles in an inviting manner, seeming to recognise Megumi as she looks between the two of you. He shoots her a sharp look, which she giggles in response to.

“Good evening!” She greets, leading both of you to a booth. There’s a few other patrons in the store, but not so many that it’s loud or crowded. “Just the two of you?” The waitress asks, a subtle tease in the lilt of her sweet voice that makes you instinctively defensive of the assumption, as if you need to explain why it’s only the both of you.

However, before you can panic and blurt everything out, Megumi speaks; “Yeah, just us” He says, casually and dismissively.

Nodding, the waitresses eyes glint with mischief as she hands you both a menu and leaves you tableside. Scanning the menu, you read the meals offered, biting the inside of your cheek.

“She’s my sister” Megumi speaks up after a moment of busied silence. “Tsumiki.”

Oh. That makes a whole lot more sense. For some reason, your chest feels a lot lighter than it did five minutes ago. How odd.

“Oh, alright” you hum in response, glancing at him over the top of your menu. You want to talk, to say something interesting and make some sort of conversation. Nothing interesting comes to mind.

Pressing your lips together, you internally curse your terrible conversational skills. “A-are you and Nobara close?” You eventually ask, laying the laminated menu on the smooth, granite tabletop, following the chunks of iridescent shards set into the clear coating with your eyes, watching the lights from the restaurant gleam off them.

Megumi raises a brow at your (very random) question but purses his lips together to consider a response nonetheless, mimicking your actions in setting down the menu.

“I guess..” He responds after some consideration, gaze fixed out the window you were seated beside, watching the crowds pass. “Yeah. We are pretty close. I think Yuji would consider her to be more of a friend than I do, but I think she’s pleasant to be around.” He says, tone a little softer now that you were indoors. “When she isn’t shopping, that is” He adds with a brief exhale of a snicker.

You’re pleasantly surprised at the thought put into his response to your seemingly lackluster attempt at a conversation starter. “I see” You reply with a hum.

Megumi turns his gaze back to you, cocking his head in the smallest way, a subtle display of curiosity. He feels he should say something to you, keeping the conversation going and save the both of you from sitting in awkward silence.

Hesitating momentarily, he moves to speak, immediately gaining you attention. He’s surprised by your attentiveness, internally admiring the careful observation you give to life around you.

“What’s your deal with spirals anyway?” He asks, keeping his tone neutral but not uninterested. At least, that’s what he thinks he’s doing. It comes out a little harshly.

You flinch slightly at the perceived annoyance in his tone but answer him cheerfully nonetheless. You’re more than familiar with tone miscalculations, it’s a daily occurrence for you. Who’s to say he doesn’t have the same issue?

“Spirals? Oh yeah,” You smile, casting a brief look towards your spiral phone case and the various spiral jewellery you wear regularly. “My favourite book at the moment is Uzumaki by Junji Ito, have you heard of it?”

Megumi furrows his brows for a moment, shaking his head. “Can’t say I have. The name rings a bell, though,” He says, eyes fixed on you in genuine interest in what you have to say. Being under his intense gaze makes you shift in your seat ever so slightly.

“It’s good,” You smile, wringing your hands together under the table restlessly. “I’d recommend it, but I don’t want to spoil it by talking your ear off,” You chuckle a little nervously.

“I wouldn’t mind” He quickly adds, gaze searching your face until his eyes meet your own. “This is the most we’ve ever spoken, I think..” He trails off for a moment, looking to the window in thought. “I’m interested now, you can’t leave me curious.”

Megumi tries to reason nonchalantly, attempting to hide his actual interest in what you have to say. Your nerves settle at the reassurance he offers you just by telling you he actually cares about what you have to say.

You, oblivious to his internal battle, jump at the chance to talk about your current interests. “Well.. alright,” You smile, sitting up a little straighter and clasping your hands together on the table in front of you.

“Basically the plot follows this girl, Kirie, and her boyfriend Shuichi through a series of events that happen in their small coastal town,” You begin to explain, all your nerves and restlessness replaced with the desire to explain the plot of this story. Passionately.

“The first few chapters all continue off each other, and set the scene for the remainder of the book. The chapters at the start explain that Kirie’s boyfriend, Shuichi’s, father has become obsessed with spirals and the spiral shape. So much so, all he does is sit in his office and study, draw, and read about them.” You say, hands waving around as you talk to accentuate the feelings of passion you have towards this book.

“It gets to a point where, one day Shuichi and his mother return home and find Mr. Saito has attempted to contort his body to fit into a circular box as a spiral, killing himself in the process.” You continue, pausing to gauge the reaction Megumi has towards that disturbing detail.

Megumi’s eyebrows furrow at your last detail, the raw fascination in his eyes remains all the same. His posture is relaxed, leaning forward slighting in interest for the rest of the plot to follow.

He hates how easily you’ve captured his attention. And he hates how blissfully unaware of it you are. You’ve done nothing but be yourself this whole time and he’s completely fascinated by it.

You finish explaining the plot, taking a deep breath after talking so fast. During your incessant rambling, the waitress (not Tsumiki) had taken your orders.

Glancing up at Megumi, you eye him curiously. “Questions?” you ask, sensing the slightest bit of uncertainty in his expression.

He nods, sitting back against the cushioned seat in the booth. “Yeah,” he confirms with an exhale, staring at the table as he processes. “So.. you really like spirals because the symbol serves as a reminder of the uncertainty we as humans face when it comes to our own existence and the infinite flow of time we all eventually fall victim to?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest and he repeats your words back to you. His tone is both teasing and somewhat confused.

Grinning, you nod. “Yeah basically!”

“Plus, it just reminds me of the book. Which is a simpler explanation,” You offer with a shrug.

“That's… not what I was expecting,” Megumi responds honestly, lips pursed in slight thought.

You can’t help but snort at the expression he wears, eyebrows drawing together in subtle confusion. “What did you expect my answer to be?” You ask curiously, resting your chin against your hand.

He looks vaguely surprised by your question, eyes narrowing briefly in thought. Hesitating momentarily as he mulls over a response. “I don’t know, actually” Megumi answers quietly. “I sort of expected something less.. Well, thought out. I assumed you just liked the pattern or something along those lines.”

“I’m sorry I disappointed you,” You snicker with a teasing tone, playing with the spoon resting in your bowl of soup.

“Oh shut up,” Megumi grumbles, covering his face with one hand as his ears burn with embarrassment. This makes you laugh even more, earning a few glances from other patrons towards the two of you.

Megumi burns red, sinking into the collar of his jacket and beginning to eat a little faster.

You find yourselves leaving the restaurant shortly after.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

The sun is setting, the sky shifting from that warm afternoon blue to a gentle gold and yellow glow. You end up towards the summer festival, since you were planning to meet the other two there later once getting some signal and being able to call them.

The festival is busy, bustling with excitement and a sort of romantic atmosphere that you feel you could be imagining. The twinkling warmly lit lights adorning each ride and market stall make the event hum with an irresistible pull towards all the festival has to offer.

You give in, dragging Megumi towards anything that catches your eye. The stalls with a beautiful assortment of candles, food stalls, jewellery stalls, trinket stalls, fast rides, slow rides, mirror mazes, face painting, anything and everything. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much and your nerves from the beginning of the evening are completely gone, replaced by the sort of carelessness only a teenager in love can have.

It’s almost time to meet with Nobara and Yuji but to your surprise, Megumi gently grabs your arm and leads you to the ferris wheel, handing the employee a ticket for each of you and sitting down across from you in the small carriage. Your knees are touching from close proximity.

“The ferris wheel?” You ask Megumi with a soft laugh, face paint you had convinced him to get, an array of swirls and dotted spirals emerging from the outer corner of his eye in various shades of blue and white. You have a similar design, but in a purple colour scheme.

“I love ferris wheels, it’s always been a favourite thing of mine to look above the whole festival whenever I’ve come before,” he explains, tone fond as he reminisces, looking out over the glittering lights that illuminate the dark night sky as the machinery begins to move. The sun had set almost an hour ago.

“That’s sweet,” You murmur, following his gaze towards the festival that’s growing smaller beneath you. “I see why… It’s beautiful.”

Megumi looks over at you as you whisper this, gaze softening at the awe in your eyes. “Yeah..” He breathes out quietly. “It is.”

Looking up at him, his eyes already on you, you fidget, getting shy all of a sudden. The ferris wheel stops when you reach the top.

“Lucky us,” You chuckle, fidgeting with your hands in your lap, feeling heat flush your body.

“Hmm, yeah.” Megumi hums in quiet agreement, feeling the tension between you grow thick and desperate to be snapped. There’s a quiet pull, strongly tugging at your chest and making your stomach do flips.

You’re leaning closer to him subconsciously and he’s doing the same. Both your attention is completely on each other, the view that the ride provides is forgotten the moment your lips brush his.

He smells like plum blossoms and sandalwood, his lips taste faintly of miso from the dinner you just had. Your senses are overwhelmed with him and you can’t help but bathe in it.

Megumi leans in, gently tugging you a bit closer to continue to kiss, eyes closing blissfully as he breathes in everything you have to offer him with each delicate brush of your lips.

Pulling away almost feels criminal, but you part eventually, eyes locked on one another. Your heart beats so hard in your chest you fear you might pass out. Megumi’s hand gently clasps yours, thumb absentmindedly running over the bumps of your knuckles.

You both laugh shyly after a minute of silence, unsure of what to say after such an overwhelmingly enjoyable shared kiss.

“Can we do this more often?” Megumi eventually asks, face burning red once again, eyes averted from your own. “I.. really like you.”

Surprised by his honesty, you struggle to contain your enthusiastic response. “Yes please,” you laugh, squeezing his hand. “I like you too. A lot.”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

The ride eventually comes to an end, but you’re still beaming with the memory of the kiss you shared and the hope of more to come practically leaves you glowing.

Meeting up with Yuji and Nobara, they quickly notice the shift in dynamic and tension. They exchange a knowing glance, smirking with pride. “Our plan worked!” They high five, cheering in unison.

“Plan?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing, you turn to Megumi, but he seems to have figured it out already, eyes narrowed in annoyance as he steps towards a celebrating Yuji.

Lifting his hand, he smacks the pink-haired boy on the back of the head, who just groans with deserved pain, pouting in response. “Told you I’d punch him.” Megumi murmurs, looking back to you with a slight smirk.

a/n: yo yo yo im back you guys but probs not 4 long, i got other shit going on unfortunately :/ thank you guys for all the support recently, its been so cool that we reached 200 followers! genuinely such an honour to have my fun little hobby be recognised and enjoyed by other people, so i'll try my best to write and post as often as I can manage with the constant bustle of life. i hope you guys enjoyed this longer(ish) one

also, i listened to 'everything is embarrassing' by sky ferreira on repeat while writing this idk why it just fit the vibe imo.

taglist: @pinkiemeana

smau ver!

various texts, no specific plot or topic, just trying something out!

cw: cussing, language, minor sexual references

characters: s. gojo, s. geto, k. nanami, f. toji, r. sukuna, k. choso, h. higuruma, o. yuta, t. inumaki, f. megumi, i. yuuji

a/n: just trying a little something new for fun and because school is kicking my ass so i likely won't be writing a whole bunch for a while (still gonna try though!)

i hope this was somewhat amusing for you guys :)!

taglist: @pinkiemeana (drop ur @ in my req inbox if you wanna be on the taglist :p)

Loser

Tamsy Caines x gn!reader

Tags: tamsy caines/gn!reader, no use of y/n, manga spoilers!!, fluff, spice, implied/referenced sexual themes, tension, shitty writing

a/n will be at the bottom :)

(all images on banner found on pinterest)

Lunch was always such a hassle for you. Nothing wrong with the lunchroom or the other Cleaners, or the concept in general, it just felt like a whole lot of effort most of the time, given that when you were off, other Cleaners and Supporters seemed to always be on missions, but whenever you were on missions, everyone else seemed to be off. How unlucky. 

Semiu thought that you were lucky having so much alone time, and that you were deemed skilled enough to be sent out on missions alone, to which her words hold a truth to them, but that didn’t make you any less bored of the silent halls and stale air between you and the empty seat across from you. 

Man, you’re a loser. 

“You look like a bit of a loser at the moment” a familiar voice pulls you from your self-pity and you glance up from the sandwich sitting on your plate to see who’s speaking. Tamsy Caines stands before you, an amused smirk sitting on his annoyingly pretty face. You’re surprised to see him here, usually he’s on missions or generally just not around you. 

Unfortunately you had developed a little thing for the mysterious man.

“I feel like a bit of a loser at the moment” You chuckle lightly, glancing away from him when he makes eye contact with you, focusing back on your sandwich. To your surprise, he sits at the seat across from you, resting his arms on the table and glancing around the empty lunchroom. 

“I can’t exactly blame you, this place is just depressing” He murmurs, gazing around once more before his eyes land on the sandwich you have. “Mind if I have the other half?” He asks casually, as if this is a common occurrence. You’re very briefly dumbfounded until you remember people talking about similar things that happened to them. That’s just Tamsy – apparently.

You blink at him before sliding your plate towards him. “Oh, yeah. Go ahead” you say, your voice slightly too nervous and shaky for your liking. Stupid nerves. 

Tamsy takes the untouched half of your sandwich with a grateful nod, watching as you avoid eye contact with him and shift nervously in your seat. Cute. He finds your nerves entertaining, even if it is just your natural demeanour. He’s surprised he hasn’t talked to you outside of group settings before, you seem like someone he wouldn’t mind conversing with. 

Not that he really has any use for you, which is likely why he’s never spoken to you. 

“Pray tell” Tamsy begins, his voice causing you to focus on him instead of your usual fleeting gaze. “Why are you not… on a mission, or something of the sort? I understand I am not either, but you seem… accustomed to this routine” he observes thoughtfully, wiping some dressing from his bottom lip with his thumb. Your eyes follow his movements carefully. Are you just observant like himself, or is there more to it? 

“I get missions almost every day” you tell him easily, shrugging as you finish the last of your food, resting your folded arms on the table. “I’m just always finished by lunch. They only send me, sometimes one or two Supporters if needed but only for the difficult or sketchy missions.”  

The air hangs quiet for a moment as Tamsy takes in your words. You speak so easily, despite your skittish demeanour, as if you’re just waiting to be talked to. Needing to be talked to. You’re a lot more interesting than he initially thought. 

“So you’re quite skilled with your Vital Instrument then?” He asks, eyes fixed on your face in that intentionally unnerving way, however, the way your eyes light up when he asks his question completely cancels out the way his gaze pierces into your soul. 

You begin talking about your Vital Instrument, explaining its technique and relation to you, enjoying the attention somebody is actually putting into you and the genuine look of interest in his eyes. You ramble for a while too long, eventually catching yourself when you notice the clock on the wall. “Oh lord… have I really been talking for almost an hour? I’m so sorry! You should’ve said something!” You begin to apologize profusely, quickly adapting that timid persona again, shoulders slumping as if you are trying to shrink yourself. 

Tamsy shakes his head, holding up his hands in a placating way, chuckling smoothly. “Nonsense, I was quite enjoying the passion behind your words. I have a fondness for passionate people like myself and you seem to fit that description perfectly” he soothes, a smile sitting gently on his face, eyes staring deeply into your own. “If anything, I should apologize for not realising such a fact sooner! I’m embarrassed by my own lack of perception.” 

His words work exactly as he needed them to, and he is being truthful in them. He’d wished he had seen what an interesting person you seem to be sooner, but later is better than never, right? And with such an interesting and powerful Vital Instrument, too? You prove to be more and more useful to him by the second. 

You sigh heavily, scratching the back of your neck with a sheepish chuckle, a slightly flustered haze in the way you glance around. Adorable. “I’m glad I didn’t completely bore you, then” You say, unsure with your response but not wanting to leave the room silent. 

Tamsy just smiles, eyes closing with the expression, his head tilting slightly. “We should chat more often” he stands from the table, voice light and cheery. “Don’t be afraid to come find me, by the way. I'd hate to always come searching for you, now” he teases lightheartedly, offering a friendly wave through the oversized sleeve of his Cleaners uniform before turning and departing the lunchroom, leaving you more than a little confused, and slightly flustered. 

You had completely misjudged Tamsy! He’s so nice and friendly! And here you were intimidated by his mysterious nature, how silly of you! 

You leave the lunchroom and head to your bedroom, almost giddy after the encounter. Finally, somebody who seems to want to be your friend. You can’t stop grinning. 

—---------

Some pessimistic part of you thought that Tamsy was just being nice, and that you weren’t actually going to talk again, but this wasn’t the case. In fact, you guys ended up talking much more than Tamsy himself had initially assumed. 

You gained confidence in the friendship rather quickly, and he only had to seek you out a mere few times before you started finding him first. How perfect. You were following the steps of his plan so perfectly he could almost cry.

During your conversations, Tamsy couldn’t help but notice the smaller details in your mannerisms, the flutter of your eyelashes when you got confused, the crinkle in your brow when you were annoyed, or the way you twisted the ring around your middle finger with your thumb. He found these things intriguing, and a part of him wanted to figure out why you did these things. Was it a habit? Restlessness? General unease? 

Wanting to figure out what made you tick was crucial to his great plan, and he would do anything he could to figure these things out, even if it meant leading you on. Which wasn’t preferred, but possible if necessary. 

“I wonder if people on the Sphere ever feel like this” You sigh heavily during one of your conversations one day. The both of you are seated in the library, reading your own respectable books. Being in the presence of one another but not engaging in overt conversation was a favoured activity by the both of you. 

“Do you intend on indulging me in the feelings you are referring to or am I supposed to guess?” Tamsy responds in his usual teasing way, glancing up from his own book in your direction, watching the way you slump against the couch and exhale with a kind of defeat. 

“Boredom” You reply, resting the open book on your chest and rubbing your face with one hand. “But like… extreme boredom. Like the realisation that all I’m going to do for the rest of my life is fight trash beasts, maybe raiders, eat lunch alone, and grow old and eventually die one day kind of boredom” you explain, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “Unless I get killed earlier, of course.” 

Tamsy is actually kind of taken back by this sudden comment, hesitating on his next words momentarily before speaking up. “Existentialism? I’d imagine everyone experiences that in one way or another, even people on the Sphere,” he replies, his tone rather lacking in sarcasm for once. “I didn’t really think you were one for existentialism, my dear.” 

The nickname you’ve gained never fails to fluster you a bit, but you’ve learned to play it off quite well. “Neither did I” you grumble in response, closing your book and resting it on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Maybe I need to find something to spice up my life or just something out of this dreadful routine I've gotten used to.” 

Tamsy just hums, flipping the page of his book, one of his legs crossed over the other as he leans against the armrest of the couch. 

“I wish dating was easier” You exhale heavily, picking at the chipped nail polish, chipping at it even further. Your words make Tamsy perk up a little, an unusual distaste setting on his tongue as his brows furrow slightly. 

“Date?” He chuckles lowly, glancing from the book briefly to watch you sulk. “Your thought process never fails to astonish me. How does one go from nearing an existential crisis to complaining about the Grounds terrible dating pool?” 

You roll your eyes, sinking into the couch. “It makes sense to me–! Actually, y’know what? Nevermind, it’s nothing.” Waving your hand dismissively, huffing a stray bit of hair out of your face. 

Tamsy reciprocates with an eyeroll of his own, snickering at your display of exasperation. “Oh, come on now. You know what I meant to say,” He nudges your knee with his own, prompting you to keep complaining in your annoyingly endearing way. He looks down towards your pathetically slumped figure, his milky saturn eyes travel the expanse of your body, leaving you feeling like you’re being examined on a petri-dish. 

“Sit up, it’s bad for your back.” He grumbles, eyes narrowing in on your face, focusing very intensely to avoid his gaze falling back to your thighs in such an obvious matter. That would be very unlike him, and he can’t afford any slip ups. “It’d be a shame for you to die because your back was tweaked during a mission. Certainly not something memorable.” 

Rolling your eyes, you adjust your seating to keep him from making another comment. With a satisfied hum, he turns his gaze away from you, clasping his hands together. “If you’re lonely in a romantic sense, why don’t you go out with me?” Tamsy asks, though it comes across more as an obvious statement. Like he’s confused on why you didn’t think of him as an option yet. 

The bluntness flusters you, cheeks warming uncomfortably. Why hadn’t you thought of him? Was it because you thought he wouldn’t be interested? Likely. He’s never seemed to be the romantically inclined type, honestly. 

“Uh…” You stammer, staring at him dumbly. Is this a joke? You really can’t tell yet. 

As if reading your mind, he cuts your stupid stammering off. “I’m being serious. If that is what is causing you to gape your mouth at me.” He exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Finally finding some words, you speak up again. “I’m not.. Completely against that idea.” You murmur, staring at the space between you both on the couch, the creases of leather suddenly very fascinating. 

“Do we have to talk about this right here though? I know it’s late, but I’d rather go somewhere more private” You add, casting a nervous glance over your shoulder. Tamsy nods in agreement, standing up quickly and offering you a hand, which you take gratefully. You follow beside him to his quarters silently, stewing over the conversation you just had. 

Looking over at him, you see him once again in the light you did when he first arrived, the nervous and unsure excitement that comes with a crush rushes back as you witness him for the first time all over again. Long, two-toned hair, half clipped up messily, as it normally is when he isn’t on missions, caramel coloured eyelashes framing his deep, swirling eyes, a flurry of beige and white, his lips beautifully accented with the silver ball of the piercing below his bottom lip. Even the scar that runs along the side of his face seems to be perfectly tailored to him, just as the rest of his features are. His skin seems so soft and the constant waft of gourmand sweetness only adds to his gentle allure. 

The fluorescent lights of the HQ hallways even manage to fall along his figure perfectly, casting an almost angelic image to the man before you. 

“Come now,” His gentle voice pulls you from your transfixed haze. Blinking quickly, you follow him into his room, ignoring the quiet chuckle he gives towards your previous staring. “Make yourself comfortable,” Tamsy nods towards his neatly made bed, gesturing for you to sit. 

Sitting down, you take in the clean, neat organisation of his room. You had expected nothing less. The room, rather empty for someone who has been working with the Cleaners for so long, still manages to capture his persona effortlessly. 

“Uhm..” You clear your throat, adjusting your seating to face him a little better. “As I said, I’m not against the idea… I’m just..” Your eyes dart around the room, struggling to keep eye contact with him. 

You don’t even really notice him getting closer to you until the scent of salted caramel overwhelms your senses, eyes focusing on his slowly approaching face. “You’re just what..?” He whispers, voice taking on a slight raspiness as he looks at you through half-lidded, predatory eyes. 

It suddenly becomes very clear what sort of tension has been building between the both of you all these weeks spent together, and the fact you had been oblivious to it until this very second. 

Breath hitching in your throat, the room grows thicker with an increasing heat emanating off the both of you. Heart beating loudly in your ears, any words you had been hoping to say dissolve on your tongue, replaced by the sticky sweetness of the desire you feel. 

Sensing this realisation you’ve come to, Tamsy gives your arm a small tug, bringing your mouth against his, reveling in the warmth it brings and the quick inhale of surprise you make the second your lips brush. 

Eyes closing, your hand slides up to the back of his head, gently grasping onto the silky strands, holding his mouth against yours while his hand slides up to your waist pulling you closer than before. 

His tongue slides along the seam of your lips until they part enough for him to go further, resisting the urge to shudder at the small sound of pleasure you make in response. He knows he’s enjoying this far more than he should, but he’s more than happy to indulge in this feeling for a while longer. 

Feeling your hands start to explore a little more, he gently pulls from you, eyes searching your own for a moment while you pant, out of breath. 

“Getting rather bold, are we?” Tamsy teases you between his own heavy breaths, smirking as your face flushes. “Do you really want to go further, my dear?” He asks, thumb brushing under the skin of your shirt slowly, testing the waters. 

You nod, holding his gaze with a confident look of your own. “I want to.” 

Satisfied with this response, he leans in again, kissing you again but with more intention behind it. He knows where he wants this to lead and he will ensure it gets there.

a/n: woah holy shit im alive guys! i got a rq for something tamsy related a while ago and im sosososososo sorry i havent been able to respond, lifes been kicking my ass lately and i havent had the energy or motivation to write at all.

nonetheless, i have not abandoned this blog!

also, idk if you can tell but i started writing towards smut at the end, then realised i cant write smut to save my life, so i cut it a bit early. if i somehow manage to write sum ill repost the story :p

heyyyyy, sorry i took so long to respond to ur rq!! i really like this idea but i don't think i did it justice as well as i could have :'(

still, hope you enjoy!

Tamsy x gn!reader

cw - none!

໒꒱ Whether you joined the Cleaners after or before Tamsy , he noticed you immediately. You had the type of energy that unintentionally drew the attention of everyone around you.

໒꒱ This fact did make you quite a bit intimidating, though. Your teammates tended to shy away from you outside of missions, and only a select few would start conversations with you.

໒꒱ You weren’t disliked by others necessarily, just a bit rough around the edges.

໒꒱ Tamsy saw this when you first met, and was drawn to you, despite your fraying edges. His first conversation with you quickly scaled to a heated discussion about the Sphere and the excessive culture of waste produced by them. Other members around HQ thought you guys were arguing, but it was actually flirting.

໒꒱ You start dating not long afterwards, and Tamsy is very receptive to your… aggressive way of life. Tamsy is very calm and collected, everybody knows that, so it’s always a little amusing to see him with somebody like yourself, as if you sort of complete each other in a way.

໒꒱ Your displaying of emotions also tends to be a little aggressive, no matter how positive the feeling may be. Tamsy gets the brunt of your cuteness aggression, having to wear little bruises on his neck, face and arms around every few days. It doesn’t help that he bruises like a damn peach.

໒꒱ Your conversations tend to go a little something like this

You, practically buzzing with energy: “Man I just LOVE this song!” 

Tamsy : “You said that about the last three songs, hun.” 

You: “Okay? And? I LOVE, LOVE this song!” 

Or something along those lines.

໒꒱ As for your more rebellious side? Tamsy happens to have a tendency for rule breaking, too. Even if it’s just the smaller things. Maybe a sneaky kiss in public or two. 

໒꒱ Admires your ambition like crazyyyy, takes a lot of advice you give him in training sessions very, very seriously and you can always count to see him use your advice in real-time during missions.