Aphobes tried to argue that only lesbians could experience corrective rape, or that it was somehow appropriating a term exclusive to South Africa, or that an asexual person willing to have sex could not be correctively raped. They insisted any evidence of oppression was either misdirected or fabricated. Being an entry in the DSM until 2013 and developing medication specifically for treating the condition didn’t count. 

They told us all of our words were either stolen or stupid: allistic people tried to say that “aspec” was specifically about people on the autism spectrum; “zucchini”, squash, and other innocuous aspec terms and motifs (black rings, playing card suits, cake, space, dragons, etc.) got ridiculed to death; QPRs as a concept are derided as “just friends” and irrelevant to anyone but aspecs, who themselves are deemed irrelevant. In fact, the “clowning” quote in the OP was in the notes on a post of mine about the importance of recognizing queerplatonic relationships. 

Aphobes insisted that aspecs couldn’t speak other languages, that it’s a “white people thing”, that teenagers are just trying to feel special, that it’s a side effect of SSRIs, that we’re “basically straight” (straight-passing, i.e. erased). Anything to deny us our existence. Anything to minimize us, to keep us invisible and silent, to blame us for intracommunity issues, to invalidate us. 

I was having a normal conversation with a coworker, and she happened to ask something along the lines of "and then what about when you get married and have kids?"

I just really casually said "Oh, I don't think I will." (because I was not coming out to random coworker as aroace because like nobody irl ever even seems to know what that means, and I don't exist to educate everybody everywhere about the SAM, asexuality, aromanticism, and all that.)

And she reacted like she had never heard anything like that in her life. This woman genuinely asked "How?" How was I going to not get married? How was I going to not have children? Like... I'm just gonna not do those things. You can just not do a thing.

Why is the default state of being in society's mind for an AFAB person "in a straight marriage as a stay at home mom with multiple children?"

it would be a mistake to think that this represents the natural behavior of chickens.

it would be a mistake to think that the social displacement harms we do to each other as marginalized people under a great deal of stress, under capitalism, represents the natural behavior of people.

We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.

There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:

A single income isn't enough to get by anymore

Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system

Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly

Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.

"Oh... they're going to have sex to show that they're ~official~ now? That's fine, I guess, but I feel like the writers only did that because they think they're expected to."

"The leads end up as a romantic couple? No thanks, I actually find that kind of derivative."

"These characters are too freaky for their main form of intimacy to just be fucking. I think they have something way weirder going on."