Come at me, Bro!

happy anniversary 

Oh, hey Charlie, sorry you didn’t make it to the 8 year anniversary

here’s a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of

“well adam scott isn’t hot” to YOU, maybe.

i am going to freak out! and not in a way anyone finds endearing or relatable

People talk about gifted 5th grade classes like it was a government supersoldier program

at least one of us did

if a werewolf dies but they were an organ donor does someone get a new kidney that turns into a wolf kidney once a month

imagine having a feeling of pure bloodlust radiate from one side of your mid-back approximately every 28 days

I don’t need to imagine

like where does it end

hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead

ok well it has been real but i am going to kill you with a hammer now

Is anyone else using cozy games to cope with the horrors™️

Every romance book promoted on tiktok is just full to the brim with horrible "steamy" taglines that are just like... Eyes on me, Little Beast. I'm here to make you Damp