what they don't tell you is that it is INCREDIBLY difficult to keep the mood during sex when you are a certified Funny Bitch, because half of the good dirty-talk timing is fucking identical to good comedic timing and it gets really, really hard to not make a joke

clicking a pen over and over again is actually fun as fuck its a shame it makes everyone in a 30 foot radius want to kill me with a rock

honestly I understand why women become villains

This is the perfect moment for Vine to do the funniest thing possible

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

people are never the neat little image you carry of them in your head. they will let you down sometimes bc they are human the way you are. they have thoughts theyll never utter the way you do. they have felt shame the way you have. guilt. rage. greed. lust. no matter the rose colored glasses you look at them through, the light they may bring into your life, the way their presence dazzles and warms you. they are still a person with their own volition who will on occasion, do something you perceive as inconceivably out of character. but that’s the point, they aren’t a character. and nor are you. and these are things you must remember. and you’ll have to remember to allow them a place on the ground beside you rather than the golden pedestal you kept them on. and you will feel the grief of recognizing your innate humanity. when you finally recognize your fallibility do not forget to acknowledge it in others. and though it may be painful you must learn to forgive them for it the way you must learn to forgive yourself, too.