not for everyone

I, so desperately, want answers,

Like a child, my heart whines

I want to ask why,

I want to ask what happened,

Or what changed your mind,

But I'll just let you live.

Days go by,

Your memory is fainter with each sunrise,

But what I feel for you only seems to be growing in the distance—

The more I push it down, the more it overflows.

I don't know where to put it all,

So I let myself drown in it,

For maybe when your memory fills my lungs,

Replacing the air,

I'd feel you again

And for a brief moment,

I'd know you more than I ever did before.

Until finally I meet my end as the happiest woman that's ever existed,

Engulfed by you.

And when the last few bubbles of air exit my body,

They will echo my feelings for you,

Releasing them into a vast ocean where they will live on forever,

And every time it rains,

I'll get to touch you again.