This is brills!

And he left her behind. He left her behind with a man he longer recognises, in a house that he knew was never a home for anyone except his father.

Ilya can't look back. He knows that.

P.S David asked me to tell you that he is very excited about the puzzle he picked out to do with you."

All the pics are of ilya being soft 🤧

Him at the dinner table stuffing his face with chicken parm with a mountain of cheese, the marinara sauce tinge the corners of his mouth

Him and Yuna on the couch, his head on her lap, her fingers lost in his curls

Him in the backyard of his house, sat on the ground while Anya licks his face

Him and shane passed out on different parts couch on their tummies, with their fingers tangled together

Him with the pikelings treating him like jungle gym. The twins hang from his biceps while Arthur is licking an ice lolly sat on his shoulders totally zoned out and little Amber has wrapped her teeny tiny hands around one of his knees. To be noted, he is wearing one of his expensive ass ray bans and his nails are painted in the bi flag and he's wearing those necklaces from the DIY jewellery making kits for kids.

Him solving a puzzle with David at the dinner table with a blanket around his shoulders

Him posing with 2 hotdogs as if they are guns, face scrunched in mock strain

A family photo of four of them in a restaurant all happy smiles, a bit shaky due the staff being nervous

Him sticking his tongue out at shane with the TV remote in one hand keeping it out of reach while the other arm tries to push shane away

The hudcon lick™️ on the ice but hollanov in their Ottawa jerseys

Him and shane at the dock with Shane's arm around his waist and his wrapped around Shane's shoulders at they watch the sun rise at the cottage

A picture of them at their wedding, shane throwing his head back laughing, his hand on his stomach with the wedding band glinting as ilya tries to hide his smirk into his champagne glass

When ilya finds out, he blushes deep red and tries to hold back tears.

i have a very special scenario in my head of shane who is used to feeling like this and finding a quiet place to assess what tf is happening to him rn so he can decide if cold water on his face or hospital.

(not even considering the fact that hiding away while potentially having a life-threatening allergic response is an AWFUL move).

and i am especially endeared by the idea of it going from him going off and doing this by himself to ilya clocking him leaving the room in a way that says Not Okay and following him and the two of them in just a quiet little pocket of space together, with shane having already handed over his auvi-q (the version of an epipen that fits in a suit pocket) just in case.

OH MAN in vegas, ilya canonically was freaking out ahead of time in anticipation of seeing shane again, so i posit that he was denying that he was freaking the fuck out and was trying to lie to himself and say it was just low blood sugar, so he grabbed something from craft services backstage.

and it's fucking. peanut butter crackers.

THIRD OPTION: EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE TIME TO PURSUE FINGER SUCKING AFTER ILYA WAS PICKING AT THINGS DURING THE WAIT FOR SHANE TO SHOW UP AT THE PENTHOUSE BUT ALSO DRINKING VODKA SO SHANE DOESN'T SMELL IT ON HIS BREATH

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS MOM

AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS PROBABLY SO EXTREMELY ON HIS MIND GIVEN HOW CLOSE HE IS TO GOING BACK FOR THE SUMMER AND THE MEMORIES THAT WOULD HAVE ALREADY DREDGED UP

oh my god WAIT

ilya who remembers when the responders who came to the house took his mother away, and he never saw her again, and it's totally irrational, but he manages to get shane's epipen and help shane use it, and then he helps shane get dressed so he can get to a more neutral area before he calls for an ambulance, and he's SUPPOSED to leave. he's going to leave. it's just going to cause some uncomfortable ass questions if he doesn't leave and has to come up with a story about why he was with hollander and why he's with him now and why he still hasn't let go of him even though he has him back in his room now.

and yet.

again: IRRATIONAL. he KNOWS it's irrational. but there's a part of him that's still thinking, "if i let them take hollander away right now, then i will never see him again." because he's BEEN HERE before. and it doesn't make sense, but trauma and fear NEVER do.

so ilya ends up going with him.

and listen. shane atp?? nauseous, still can't fully breathe right, still not fully present. in his right mind, he'd be sending ilya the FUCK away because embarassing and also doesn't want questions. but in this moment?? can't feel anything but relief when he climbs in the ambulance with him to ride along because he's at least someone familiar in the middle of all of this.

and then at the hospital, they get shane stable and ilya should go. he should totally go. he knows he should go.

and yet he doesn't. he's already here. there's already going to be questions. it's a little bit reckless and a little bit fuck it, but the damage is already done. might as well stick around until he can be sure that shane is actually okay. it's not like he's going to sleep tonight after this because jesus FUCK.

and texts keep coming through on shane's phone, but shane is sleeping, and ilya keeps seeing "Mom" and "Dad" pop up over and over and over because obviously the hospital contacted them. and ilya KNOWS he shouldn't answer. but shane can't do it right now, and there's parents worrying about him, and won't it just stress him out if he wakes up to thirty phonecalls-

and on call number thirteen from Mom, he picks the phone up and answers.

and yeah yuna is confused as FUCK why ILYA FUCKING ROZANOV is answering her son's phone after she got a call that shane had been admitted to a hospital because of an allergic reaction, but she also doesn't have a lot of other fucking options for getting updates on her baby, so fine. talking to this cocky ass kid it is.

except...he doesn't sound cocky? he actually sounds...almost sweet? he's answering questions as best he can and even tries to read some stuff in the notes the doctor left guided by what yuna tells him to look for. and she's on her way to the airport right now to get there and asks ilya to tell shane that she'll be there as fast as she can because he hates being in the hospital by himself, and in a moment of TOTAL fucking impulse ilya says he'll wait.

and he does.

the first time yuna and ilya meet face to face outside of that first elevator scene is when yuna finds him by her son's bed in the hospital keeping him company so he wouldn't have to be alone.

yuna hollander is going to unknowingly begin shifting the hollanov rivalry narrative years early because that ilya rozanov doesn't seem so bad after all, and her shane deserves another friend. so! fuck the league and the media and the fans!! she's going to make it happen!!! she is going to encourage shane to build this friendship, and she is going to ask after how ilya rozanov is doing during her calls with shane, and she is going to get them an ad campaign together to repay ilya!

i canNOT remember their names, but i saw a video of two hockey captains who have an ongoing bit of doing rock, paper, scissors with each other after games to see who loses and has to get off the ice first, and i feel like that's the shit shane and ilya would be pulling in this situation. like they are still SO fucking competitive with each other and anyone can see that.

but they're also the kind of competitive that has people taking surreptitious video clips of them chirping the FUCK out of each other while playing pool at a bar after a game together.

they're already using first names. if The Vegasing wasn't enough, ilya gets invited to go get dinner with shane and yuna after their commercial shoot together (because yuna was already going to invite him, but now that she has a different frame of view for him, it registers for her that he's always done these shoots and events on his own, and the idea of him going back to a hotel room by himself (lmao yuna) while she and her child go get food together is sad), and yuna has already decided ilya is Same Age As My Child Shaped before he's anything else so 0 chance she isn't first naming him now, and if his mom is already doing it...well...shane might as well.

(really man got speedrun through Worst Case Scenario vis a vis allergies and is a little scarred but shhh it's fiiiine)

like maybe it becomes a Thing that ilya will get dinner with them when they've travelled to see a game shane is playing against ilya (not knowing at all that this very sweet inclusiveness IS cutting into their fucking each other's brains out time), and I'm just 🥺 imagining them watching ilya for the first time leaning over to look at some tiny ass print on a menu about allergens for shane because he didn't bring his glasses and the restaurant is dark (picked for privacy), which is NOT helping

OH MY GOD

ilya and shane end up having their "what are we?" talk because yuna and david are trying to save shane from heartbreak by gently and casually asking who ilya is seeing because they heard so and so was pictured with him but haha that boy does have a reputation. god love him, but he really does love to sow his wild oats.

and shane does get a lil jelly because it comes up over and over and ends up just mentioning it to ilya the next time they see each other because ilya could tell he was upset and atp they do know each other pretty well

and they end up having a "what, you want me to not sleep with other people?" "do you not want to sleep with other people?" playing chicken standoff until one of them folds and now the cards are on the table and tbh?? they see each other not infrequently, and they already hang out at places together and it's not world shattering news if they're seen getting dinner together because the friendship narrative is already so established. so yeah. let's do it.

OH NO THEY HAVE A JOKE ABOUT BEING BROS

like they get a lot of coverage as friends, so the joke is like. them fist bumping after sex because yeah. just bros being bros.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY this means that shane (who wanted to come out before dropping the "I'm dating ilya" element) calls ilya, puts him on speaker, goes, "ilya, are we dating?" and ilya goes, "what?? no, of course not. we are just bros, hollander. don't make it weird."

the idea of shane having a separate small fridge in the garage where he keeps frozen mice for spaghetti, but this means when ilya asks about it in passing while shane is looking for water shoes, he's distracted and just goes, "oh, drinks and spaghetti" and ilya just ??? you have?? freezer just for pasta????? actually no this sounds like a Rule you would make yeah sure why not.

Spaghetti is all curled up and a little stressed out, since Shane so rudely removed him from his favorite piece of bark. But hey, this is nice and warm, and oooh, wow, that's a cave! Spaghetti likes caves.

In less than three seconds Spaghetti has slithered inside Ilya's sleeve. He is standing very still. There is a snake slowly wriggling over his armpit and he is not going to scream because he is So Incredibly Manly. The snake has flickered its tongue over Ilya's chest. He can feel its tiny snake nose poking around his nipple. If this snake bites his nipple he will make Shane sleep on the couch.

The snake climbs up to Ilya's neck and settles in a squiggly-shape on his shoulder, with its head peeking out of his collar. Shane turns around to put the disinfectant bottle away and pauses.

"Awww!" he coos. "You look so cozy!"

"Yes, he is very cozy." Ilya says. His voice is a little high-pitched. "Maybe he should go back now. We interrupted his nap."

"Oh, it's fine for him to be out a little longer," Shane says. "You're warm, he likes you."

"Well, it was rude to disturb him. Probably we should let him rest." Ilya says, trying to dislodge the invader from his shirt. Fucker. It's a good shirt and now he's stretching it out trying to evict a reptile. The things he does for love.

Shane takes pity on him and scoops Spaghetti out of Ilya's collar, then drapes him over a plant and shuts the enclosure door.

"You were very brave, babe." he tells Ilya, and kisses his cheek.

"I was not scared. I am very strong, very cool hockey player. It takes more than a little animal to scare me." Ilya lies.

the idea of this corn snake chilling in the equivalent of a snake mansion is KILLING ME. there are children with less space and enrichment than spaghetti.

also shane at 18 was still making an impression on his team in montreal and knew by then that "hey, i have a snake" gets side eyes he doesn't necessarily want, so only hayden knows about spaghetti on the montreal team, but after he's on the ottawa team, spaghetti comes up because ilya needs someone to understand his pain, and it becomes a superstition that if spaghetti eats his mouse no problem, then they have good luck for the next 10-14 days until he eats again. shane literally get @'d if the team knows it's Spaghetti Feeding Day and he doesn't report in of his own accord.

ilya HATES this superstition. it's not enough that the snake lives in the same house as him where he lays his sweet head each night. now spaghetti is even in the groupchat. he gets ASKED about SPAGHETTI THE SNAKE at his JOB!!!! he has SUFFERED!! more than JESUS!!!

reblogging with my own tags because i'm actually so emotional about the idea of shane like. not expecting ilya to interact with or even like spaghetti. shane knows people don't like snakes. (even his mom put on a good show, but he knows she does NOT fuck with spaghetti as a concept and was happy when he moved out along with shane to montreal). spaghetti gets introduced to ilya at the cottage, but like. the snake has his own room for a reason. a lot of people don't like snakes, and shane has also had the reptile owner experience of people even wanting his pet to be dead or talking about how they would kill him. so shane doesn't talk a lot about spaghetti, and he KNOWS ilya does not like his snake. and that's okay. ilya is willing to be in the same house as spaghetti and not say anything bad about him, and that's good enough.

and i am SO in my feelings imagining ilya getting to shane's house earlier than him one day during the season when they're still long distance and shane finding him in spaghetti's room talking to him. and ilya is clearly a little unnerved by this snake but is just, "if you could do less with the tongue, i think would be better for me, if you can manage this. *pause* see, no, it feels like you just did EXTRA tongue thing just because i asked you not to." and shane is??? hello??? what are you doing???

and ilya is a little flustered getting caught talking to spaghetti but also says he was trying to get used to spaghetti because he knows shane likes carrying him around but doesn't when ilya is over, and ilya doesn't want him to not get to carry his pet around if he wants to just because of him.

@merliren

tears in my eyes laughing at the idea of yuna drinking her wine and thinking, "oh you poor fool," because she senses a kindred "does NOT fuck with snakes" spirit, but that's something shane gets to handle on his own.

but meanwhile ilya who had not previously considered the idea that the snake could ever comprehend or desire escaping his enclosure is just when the snake did WHAT

"He is young/he is only a boy" - Marius is about the same age that Valjean was (a little younger maybe?) when he was forced to steal to help his family survive. But he didn't think of himself as just a boy then, yet he extends that grace to Marius.

"The summers die one by one/how soon they fly" - he had only so many joyful summers with his daughter, and now (in his mind) they will be gone, but he so freely begs in the next line for Marius to be brought joy and peace.

"If I die/let me die/let him live" - I feel like this connects directly to Javert's "you would trade your life for mine/yes Valjean you want a deal" - like, yes, Valjean would trade lives, but not in the way Javert thinks. He will trade his own to save another's, any time, every time. At the baker's broken window, in the bagne with the caryatid, in the mud under the cart, in the courtroom at Arras, in the galleys atop a mast, and thrn, at last, at the barricades, bearing a boy he did not even know home, knowing it would mean his death of grief.