the door squelches open

^every pharmacist ever hired

being half Italian makes you more Italian than usual like the genes get stronger somehow

i think thats called homeopathy

tumblr is fun because you can make a shitpost like "using my horoscope to determine how many times I'm going to take a long piss today" and someone will reply with a very serious paragraph of how to check if you have bladder or prostate issues and before you can tell them you were just playing around and weren't being serious someone replies "I'm a pisces (pronounced as piss ease)"

video game with a flaccid -> boner meter in the ui but the whole game it never changes at all and nothing makes the boner meter go up so youre jusg aware of the protags flaccid penis the whole time for no good reason

to be clear in my thinking this would only work in a completely nonsexual game, of course it Could have a function in some sort of porn game depending on the sorta porn youre going for but thats not really my idea here. this concept only works to me if its completely useless and unrelated & the protag isnt even sexualized even a little bit, otherwise i think it loses its charm. you just have to know about their penis and you have to wonder why the entire game and you have to try and figure that out until you realize theres no reason and youre just aware of their penis because the dev is probably fucked in the head or something like that. and then by that point youve reached the highest level of connection possible with a game developer aside from maybe ambushing them from behind and drinking all their blood until they die. and thats how we fix the gaming industry

The only media I ever watched was avatar the lost air bender and dnd podcasts can I write a novel to change the world?

youtube comments are like "i'm a 34 year old male professional bullrider and part time EMT who's never taken anything up the butt, not even a pinky finger from a hot chick lol.... but something about this song gets me right in the feels!" and the song is like Move Along - All American Rejects

the character of pjackk is really akin to a modern stock figure such as in the commedia dell'arte tradition

I’ve been watching so many old garbage movies recently that I’ve started to have like 60s sci fi themed nightmares where I’m being attacked by like horrible ape monsters and it’s actually scary as fuck! What an awful problem to have

Last night I had a dream about a terrible science experiment called Moon 13 that involved putting scantily clad women inside of large lava lamps to harness their innate psychic ability. I wish this was a joke

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

I want a game that uses Disco Elysium's same insanely well crafted narrative system and wonderful writing but it's about a young witch trying to solve the disappearance of her neighbor's cat in a small village in the Alps, and also Measurehead is there.