team scream

I avoid heights and it’s not because I’m afraid of heights, it’s actually the opposite. The call of the void gets a little too loud.

you could follow the genuinely funny poster who is going to be gone in 6 months, or you could follow me, the mediocre-to-okayish poster who's been on tumblr for 11.5 years and will be here until the flames finally reach and destroy the data center with our precious memories

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

Calling romances without sex "clean" smells like far right bullshit.

me, quietly whispering to the ao3 page of an author who doesn’t even know I exist: I am obsessed with you

me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who hasn’t updated anything in four years: I think about you often and I hope you’re alright

me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who wrote one life altering banger and nothing else: I hope your pillow is cool and your skin is clear and you find money in a forgotten jeans pocket

me, whispering to every single person on this post: please leave one singular comment saying literally any of that

easily the funniest part of the wigan kebab video is that the guy who's walking in like he's just stepped into an alien planet is from liverpool and lives, at maximum, an hour's drive away

people in the notes like 'its a personal failing to not know every town in your country' as if there is a reason to go to wigan

they put my blood through every test under the sun and yet nowhere in the pages and pages of lab reports do they tell me what my blood type is

your neutrophils absolute? 2.71. anion gap? why, that's 11! hemoglobin A1C? a solid 5.4. and don't fret, champ—your VLDL (calculated) is a cool 12. real fascinating stuff. hm? what's that? you want to know what kind of blood you have? like, so you won't have to look your next ER nurse in the eye and tell her you have no clue what type you have right after giving her a date of birth that confirms you are over 30 years old? psh, don't be silly! we can't tell you that! it's a ✨secret✨