Moderating Addicts Ain’t Easy
I’m part of the moderation team and a Meeting Chair for a busy recovery server on Discord. We have just over 600 members to date, and they’re all in different stages of recovery. I’m learning (very quickly) proper guidelines and server rules are a must when it comes to moderating recovery communities.
As an addict myself, I know a thing or two about the selfishness that comes along with this disease. Getting along with my cat was difficult during the early stages of my recovery. I can’t imagine what I would have been like talking with hundreds of other addicts.
This post was inspired by last night’s events. One of our members like to discuss in length why he can therapeutically take his drug of choice (it’s a prescribed medication) for hours at a time. We have a rule about drug glorification but he was kind of dancing around actually breaking it.
One of our new members messaged me and said she was feeling triggered. I reached out to him via private message and asked if he could tone it down. Right away, he referenced the rules and informed me he was clearly in the right. It was like I was talking to my eight-year-old son. But this is a vet who has PTSD and complex addiction issues.
I was at a loss for words. How could I make him see that it’s just the nice thing to do? Does there always have to be a rule? When it comes to addiction communities, yes, there has to be rules, guidelines. There should also be a blinking sign that says moderators can change rules if needed, and that their decisions need to be respected.
Moderation Guideline Tips
1. Create detailed community guidelines and rules and ensure new members read and agree to them before joining the forum. This can be used as proof the agreed at a later date if needed.
2. Ensure your forum’s rules and guidelines are easily available. Forum members will read them over and get familiar with them over time. It’s important that you as a moderator know these rules inside and out.
3. Stay away from fancy words like “glorification”. Use easy to understand terms that clearly define expectations. Don’t say avoid drug glorification. Instead, spell out what’s allowed and what’s not. I really like these recovery community guidelines - they’re detailed, to-the-point and there’s no wiggle room.
4. As a moderator, you ensure your community feels safe. For addicts, this feeling of safeness might be the first time they’ve experienced it. And I take this very seriously. If a community member violates guidelines, punishments follow. On DIscord, you can mute members for a certain amount of time, or ban them altogether. We like to give members a chance to calm down, settle their thoughts and think about what happened. Muted or banned members always beg to come back before their time is up. I don’t budge. It’s like parenting. Consequences matter and they’re also a way of showing and teaching loving boundaries.Â
Overall, my advice is to put a lot of time and effort into your moderation rules and guidelines. Research your industry and see what works in other places. Your investment will pay off (trust me). Skipping this step will result in hours of needless conversation where logic isn’t an option. I’m very patient and loving, but I was close to the end of my rope last night.
The gentleman in question decided to leave the server on his own before he could be banned or muted. He’s the sweetest man who loves kittens and math. You find your best friends in these forums. It’s all worth it in the end.
