#supportingeachother

In this world full of selfishness and the race to become who’s more independent, we are called to carry each other’s burdens. Independence is good, independence is cool, and independence is actually peaceful. However, as people who are saved by grace through faith, we should not remain in our sinful and selfish attitudes. Although independence really doesn’t mean being selfish, we have to understand that it is still very important for us to care for each other. 

Many times we have been called to rebuke each other. God expects us to care for one another for He knows that as Christians, as followers of Christ in this fallen world will really weaken us. Just as how the world rejected Christ, we will be rejected too. So, we really need each other’s encouragement, presence, and we need the fellowship. We are all part of the body of Christ, we are the church and so, we are called into a higher calling. Thus, we must always remember that we are to carry each other’s burdens. 

Sometimes, it is indeed hard to carry each other’s burden when we have ours to do so. We can also remember that Christ has told us to carry our own cross and follow Him. So, does this mean that the Bible contradicts itself? Of course not! What Jesus meant by that and what God meant by our verse today are two different things but a prerequisite of each other. Indeed that we have to carry our own crosses. We have to confess our sins to Christ, accept Him as our Lord and Savior, and follow Him completely. As we are following Him, we will be carrying our crosses, but this time, we are forgiven and set free. 

Now, as for our verse today, after we are following Christ through our saved and changed life, we are given comforters and encouragers. Christ has given us the gift of family. We are not alone in following Him, we have our brothers and sisters in Christ who will help us stand up every time we fall down. That’s why we are asked to carry each other’s burden. Since we are now followers of Christ, we will face tremendous temptations that will always try to take us away from the following path. 

Therefore, we have our brothers and sisters to pick us up, rebuke us, and be with us until we will all be together in heaven. In that way, Paul then mentioned that we will be fulfilling the law. Not the Mosaic law, but the law of Christ, which is to love one another. Carrying each other’s burden is not just merely a duty, but it is the manifestation of our love to others— the love that we first experienced in Christ. Thus, we must always put in our minds to always love one another and to carry each other’s burdens so, in this way, we are fulfilling the law of Christ.

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Hello, love! This is a really tough situation to go through and trust me, I’ve gone through it on both ends. I have a couple of things in mind…

The best thing you can provide is your support - Eating disorders and dysphoria are some of the most emotionally taxing and scary things you can go through. When your friend is dealing with this sometimes the only thing you can do is stay. Stay and listen, stay and hold them, stay and watch silly movies until they feel better. 

Support them through things you may not get the fuss about. If they’re really sad because they feel like their chin looks too fem/masc? They aren’t being dramatic, it’s really like that. If they are overjoyed about the chance to buy a comb marketed as gender-neutral? That’s amazing! If they are nervous about eating an apple but they eat a cupcake no fuss? We don’t get to decide what we get triggered by, just help us through it.

One of the hardest things, while transitioning and recovering, is that no one was really excited for me, but when I finally shyly told my best friend I was starting T she made a huge deal out of it, came to my appointment when asked, took me to the mall to look at men’s clothes. When I tell her I ate a full meal and felt good, she’s proud and excited. It matters.

Don’t just make big gestures of respect and support to them, do it every day. Use their pronouns and name, say casually boy/girl/person/etc. (whichever they prefer!) and remember that to them it matters. Use their name! Sometimes we try to avoid names in general for trans folk so that we don’t mess up, but never affirming their chosen name doesn’t help!

Be consistent! We get nervous, thinking we’re disappointing you. Talk to them when you’ll be busy, let them know every once and a while you appreciate them. Leave little reminders!

Help them seek professional help. When it comes down to it it’s just not your job to be their doctor. Help them find recourses near you, help them tell their parents if possible, talk them through going to the doctor or a therapist, and remind them it will be okay.

When they do something self-destructive, don’t be mad. Sometimes we work so hard to help someone, and we can’t believe they went back. But it’s so much more than a choice, and they didn’t want it either. You can tell them you’re sad, you’re worried, but don’t shame them.

The cure for sadness is not positivity, it’s warmth. It’s bringing them a homecooked meal, a warm cup of tea, a hug. We can’t instantly make things better, but we can help them through the pain.

One time in senior year of high school I went to the girl's bathroom and within the stall I used I noticed that there was some hateful grafitti to a specific girl. I had a sharpie on me so I crossed out the hateful message and wrote "You're Beautiful!" In a very obvious place in the stall. However, before I left I felt the need to do more so I wrote more.

"You Matter" "I Love You" "You Can Do It" "I Believe In You" "It's Going To Be Okay"

After a couple days I returned to the same stall and I found even more encouraging messages and more and more every single day. Then on one day every inch of that stall was covered in beautiful messages of hope and love. I was absolutely floored. What started out as a single hateful message turned into a Mosaic of love with kind words. Because a single person wanted to do something nice others followed. It's been so long ago that I no longer have the pictures, but I do know that on another day I returned and it was all gone. Cleaned away by a custodian doing their job.

So you wanna know what I did? I wrote another message knowing that more will follow.