In my World

- JunkyDiairies 🌹

She was a beautiful wildfire

And he was her firefighter

To have her

It would cost him everything

For her touch is to die for

This kind of love

Which burned bright

Could be seen far above

Felt all around and

If you’re silent now

You can hear Her crackling

And you can hear His prayers

This type of love you see

You must beware

- Sincerely, JunkyDiaries

Sometimes our hearts take hold of the lilting creations we call songs, and while their hands remain joined, we lose ourselves by leaving the state in which we remained before.

Sometimes, if not most, we turn up the music a few notches over the recommended level.

Sometimes, we play the music louder than our stressors so that we can temporarily escape the mundane we face day after day, month after month, and year after prolonged year.

Sometimes the music we cope with works best when played loud. For the overdose of classical notes and modern day beats can outplay our racing thoughts and overcome the sound of our aching beating hearts.”

– Entry 1 –

Memories begin to fade as the smoke fills my lungs and everything around me just suddenly vanishes. My mind has drifted into the skies and sits amongst the clouds; I seek out the star that warms the planet in faith that it will warm my chilling soul. The amount of time I have up here probably won’t be enough to aid my weakened heart so I mentally prepare myself for the fall.

I temporarily fill with pleasure and joy, for this high is quite wonderful and satisfying. But now that my mind has been up too long and the dopamine rush slows, I harshly but slowly return down to  Earth. I always hated the rule that all things that go up must unavoidably come down; and the come down is the part I dread.

- JunkyDiaries

She was a beautiful wildfire

And he was her firefighter

To have her

It would cost him everything

For her touch is to die for

This kind of love

Which burned bright

Could be seen far above

Felt all around and

If you’re silent now

You can hear Her crackling

And you can hear His prayers

This type of love you see

You must beware

- Sincerely, JunkyDiaries

When I was younger doing drugs were just all fun and games. Later on I graduated high school and after that doing drugs just became life.

An awful normality learned young I must say; nothing fun exists when the body becomes accustomed to the very thing killing you.

Dope becomes decaf, and in a world moving too fast it came to my attention (a year ago) that "This shit is not worth the blast." In all honesty I had relapsed a few times but I was fortunate to fall landing on my feet. Unfortunately being able to bounce back quickly after a relapse can only happen so many times and at one point or at some older age you'll have to work harder to climb out of the hole you jumped in. Anyways my life has been changing oh so drastically and many things come to mind when I put my relapse memories on replay.

I think about the mindset change, the purpose of the fall; I think to myself the damages done to my brain and I'm just baffled as to WHY I even wanted to do it again in the first place.

I lost myself as many others do during dark times in dark places where heaven seems to only come from a cloud of smoke.

I decided to make this account about being an addict//recovering addict. I see many of my followers and I know they can relate.

Love and drugs go hand in hand but not always in such a beautiful way.

The dope world is crazy. That's that.

Sincerely,

My thoughts are provoked by the white walls in which I’m contained. The silent echoes of my pain die slowly but remain hidden away.

The solemn truth of me will never be at bay. One day I hope to see a little girl and say, “Hey, never fright. For everything you see is what it’s meant to be.”

I would go on to tell the girl that she should never seek what’s behind her nor near, but to ground herself right where she stands and scream to the skies “I Love It Here!”

There’s no going back.

There is no going back -

I repeat this softly to myself while I stare blankly into the plain cement textured wall; “Don’t let them eat you..” I think loudly.

I’ve never hoped for much in my life but this day, I swear, I will hope. I will hope for only the greater good, and I will hope for those who never hoped like me. As I shuffle my feet on the cold floor I tilt my head side to side. I allow my stiff neck to unwind and come alive. The closing to this empty therapy session has yet to arrive. Maybe the reflection from these walls will help me stand back up and thrive.

Hope will rise.

I will rise.

Hope never lies -

I repeat to myself while raising my trembling hands to the left side of my dangling hair. I anxiously touch, twirl, and comb with the very fingers I forever own.

I’m scared, I’m lost, but “Damn,” I say, “I Love It Here,” in a solemn tone; that is what I should feel, and that is all that should be known.

- Sincerely, JunkyDiaries