Drowning In Ship

So thank you my boys/old men yaoi

Carter was absolutely fantastic. I loved him in this.

(Corday was also brilliant. She’s wonderful)

Loved Benton following Carter’s lead without question. Acting almost as his second.

And Jeanie focusing on looking after the unconscious Kerry, keeping her warm and staying with her.

Anyway - Benji distraction...

The suit Benji is wearing in Rogue Nation must have been one that Ethan put in the go bag for Benji

But the shirt and t shirt combo - Benji must have bought that when outfitting the mission, for Ethan to change into. It matches Benji’s style, in Ethan’s colours.

There’s so just something so intimate about them buying clothes for each other like this - a combination of styles and colours for them both, the way they blend together.

Also - Ethan normally wears a t shirt or a shirt, not a combo. But Benji bought the combo and I bet somewhere in Ethan’s half-dead addled brain he wanted to match Benji at that moment .

Lines like

‘Look into my eyes

You will see

What you mean to me

Search your heart

Search your soul

And when you find me there

You'll search no more

Don't tell me

It's not worth tryin' for

You can't tell me

It's not worth dyin' for

You know it's true

Everything I do

I do it for you’

And

‘Take my life

I would give it all

I would sacrifice

Don't tell me

It's not worth fightin' for

I can't help it

There's nothin' I want more’

And

‘There's nowhere

Unless you're there

All the time

And

‘Yeah, I would fight for you

I'd lie for you

Walk the wire for you

Yeah, I'd die for you’

That is so THEM

Not just beautiful but confident, self-assured, clever, in sync with Ethan.

I think after the ice, and being separated from Benji and coming out of the Entity box with all his feelings laid bare to both himself and the world, we are seeing Benji as Ethan has always seen Benji.

And we know Ethan’s reaction..(that intense stare I can’t find the gif for)

Something just clicked in my head. Been referring to myself as a writer for years and all of a sudden I’m ’aspiring filmmaker’ in my own head.

(Still writing of course. And singing and dancing and playing piano and hey time to have a go at some art and the acting as always….)

I mean, making films is something I’ve wanted to do for a while now but it’s been one of plethora of things and something has just clicked in my head and pushed it to the front.

Only one thing - I would have liked to have had Ethan find Benji injured in the hospital or in the vaults. I understood why it didn’t happen - didn’t want to break the flow from Ethan’s landing, Luther’s speech, and then the reunion but my Benthan heart yearned for it. But at least there’s a plethora of brilliant fanfics about it.

Or a moment in Trafalgar Square where we see Ethan and Benji speak. But again, I understand why not - Ethan has chosen to walk away from missions and join Benji, and we are left standing where Grace stands, watching him walk away. We get to see the missions and all that happened but the life Ethan is walking away to - that’s not a mission, that’s his chosen peace, and we are not allowed to see that.