Fuck idk

a vampire using me like a juice box would fix me

Wait this isnt gay sex this is working at my job

should I get a masters or jump into a river and swim away forever. vote now

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

we need to periodically remind everyone that a headline not including a person's name isn't an attempt to erase their identity from the narrative, it's just not good practice to put someone's name in a headline unless the reader can be expected to already know who they are

"if you can say the name in the article why can't you say the name in the headline?" what do you think a headline is for

the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair

repeat after me. humans are not inherently evil humans are not like a virus on this earth humans do not “deserve” to go extinct or anything like that. we are living breathing animals that deserve space just like every other creature on this planet. there’s just a tiny amount of us that have a fuck ton of money and power and they really suck

brought nothing to the gun fight, and everyone is really embarrassed for me. they keep trying to hand me a knife or a really big rock but I tell them I am not a charity case and get shot immediately

Once you start talking about how kids these days don't know what punk is and only oldheads like you are the real punks, you've already lost

Punk is when a bunch of sad middle-aged ppl sit around agreeing with each other about how music was better when we were kids. That's the real punk.

no-one would find it at all sexy at first but then in 20 years there'd be a thriving fetish scene where people develop elaborate codes and practices around culturally-embedded tropes from government porn

guy who can only get off when his dom pretends to be badly dubbed into quebecois french

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts