Cooking Mama

me: okay sir yes sir 

true talent

Me: oh. I should be processing this right now. Huh.

Is it any different that women seeing cute things & wanting to squish their face?

This takes at least as much skill, and involves all the same wilderness stalking. It proves that you are both brave AND compassionate. There’s no downside to doing this instead. Imagine you go to somebody’s home, and they have a trophy room filled with beautifully composed close up photos of wolves and deer and boar and eagles and things all over the walls, with a couple camera guns mounted up there too - on one wall is a photo of a standing bear who obviously sees the person taking the photo and it’s been blown up so the bear is life size (that’s why you need that gun-barrel lens, so the quality holds up when you enlarge the pic) The person you are visiting is like, “yeah, I took all these.” THAT’s impressive. A room full of dead things just means they are weird and gross and pointlessly cruel and proud of it.

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider

Been laughing at this all day