જ⁀➴ Goth Cure ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

Like people make fun of middle aged women for not getting married or being divorced or "always the bridesmaid never the bride" and all like "oh she's desperate! No one wants her! Old maid!' but they become straight up hostile and upset when you tell them you never want to date.

The core wound of this demographic is being rejected and being relentlessly asked to stop your bullshit relative to romance and sex, and to get back in the ranks. The aroace definitely qualify.

And since being rejected is obviously a veeeeery common trauma in the queer community, and people tend to reenact unhealed patterns, it's not rare to see queer people rejecting other queer people with shit like biphobia, being picky with who "qualify" as trans, dismissing aroaces etc...

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It's common sense here, except for USians, so I'll analyze it a bit more for the dominant demographic here. In a globalized setting, the most dominant culture affects the others and sets the trends. The way our language works, how we think, our levels of politeness and intimacy, and our levels of respect. (flash news, they are going down 😂)

I don't want to imply that there is nothing good in the US. There are plenty of positives in the country. It's just that for the rest of the cultures online it's a constant daily fight to not forget our roots, with the degree US media and brands have permeated our lives. In Greece at least we watch more US American media than Greek media nowadays, and many of our shows are rip-offs of USian ones, with little adaptation to Greek reality and culture.

And to demonstrate the amount of this exposure, a 22-year-old Greek asked me the other day "if something happens we call 911, right?" This might have literally cost them their life, in a dangerous situation! Because all the movies and songs they consumed (not an unusual thing for the Greek youth) were what they knew. And I found a similar comment in this comment thread.

It's about American media drowning out native language media all over the world, and workplaces requiring the English language in your repertoire more and more. It's about proper translations and foreign language dubbing of films disappearing because "everyone speaks/should speak English anyway." All of this is leading to the deterioration of native speaker groups of languages worldwide.

In my country, Dutch language courses can't find enough people who want to study the language, while English language courses are overflowing with people who want to study the language. There is even widespread distaste for the Dutch language for being crude or sounding rough or what have you. That's our native language!!! That is our culture in its purest form!!! That is knowledge we inherit from our parents as they did from theirs!!! That is how we learned fairytales and folk stories and myths!!! That is the language that shapes our communication and our way of thinking!!! To hate your native language is to hate yourself at the deepest level.

And yet it's so normalised. Droves of foreigners living in the Netherlands will never learn a word of Dutch, because "everyone speaks English anyway." We are the world's leaders in non-native understanding of English, but it comes at a cost. A grave cost we will continue to pay.

If you're looking to support your non-American friends in any way that is not performatively shouting "I hate being an American" into the void, first of all, unlearn that hatred of yourself and your culture. You are of no help self-flagellating, and there is a difference between holding your country accountable for its issues, and denying yourself your culture because your country is doing and has done bad things.

(I am not going to get into arguments about whether or not US American culture exists. It does, and if you think differently you are welcome to change your mind.)

Secondly, learn about other countries. Learn a bit of Chinese. Take an interest in the Italian political system. Ask your friends about their countries' folklore. Watch documentaries about art from Nigeria. Absorb information that is not fed to you by American media.

And thirdly, quit expecting your non-American friends to communicate in a way that appeals to you. The French and Dutch will always seem rude to you because our way of communicating is far more direct than the way you communicate. People from other cultures may seem vague to you because their way of communicating is far more indirect, and you're not used to that either. Quit being frustrated when you don't get what we mean exactly. Quit assuming we mean the absolute worst thing you could imagine just because you didn't get what we meant the first time. Ask us to explain if you need us to, and learn to accept that we are different from you.

Emerican Johnson once had a good video (which I can't find any more) about how he moved from being a capitalist into a socialist, which involved leaving the USA and then realising that people outside of the USA can't choose to ignore politics from the USA because of how much it affects everyone.

There's a good video by Jack Saint on cultural cringe, and how even unintentionally when there's a culture which is considered modern (like it fills the cinemas) it can make your own culture seem boring and shitty meaning you go towards the other culture and abandon your own history and sometimes even language. Like an interesting example of this is how 'white walls' are considered cool in Indian social media because of how there's so many people from the USA who have just plain white walls for their videos, rather than traditional Indian house designs. Especially because IKEA is expensive and out of reach for most people in India, so having a plain painted white wall with IKEA furniture is actually a status symbol!

There's been so many times I've tried to get through to a bunch of people from the US the sheer amount of stuff we can't avoid. But I think the indoctrination which people in the USA do go through has been made quite clear in some of the recent videos from Evan Edinger, where he can point out where the absolute nonsense he's recieved in his comments is mentally from, as he grew up in the USA but once he lived in another country he realised all the wool which had been pulled over his eyes.

ghetto fabulous inspired Salem

stop fucking asking people of colour to tell you when you are being racist. Because, chances are, they wont, because they feel unsafe or because they already deal with so much shit and dont have the energy to educate you on top of that. Libraries are free, Libby is free, if you're a white person reading this post on tumblr dot com using the internet then googling "how to be anti-racist" is FREE. If you care and you want to do better then you need to fucking put in the work. Im not going to do it all for you. There are books, podcasts, videos, zines, comics, every type of media you can think of about anti-racism. You only need to seek it out.