this weekend i interacted with my cousin's kids (ages 8 and 11) for the first time and it was...truly eye-opening in like the most incredible way
you see, these kids looked at a screen exactly 2 times and that was to watch VHS tapes in my aunt's cool attic kid-room while the adults hung out late at night
they don't have phones or watches or tablets, they didn't demand their parents' phones (granted, their parents weren't on their own, either), instead they just hung out with the adults and listened to our conversations and piped up if they felt like it but honestly mostly just took in what was going on around them, read books, or went running around outside looking for frogs and voles
while at the store when the 11-yr-old was AGONIZING over whether to buy clothes (she's V into affordable fashion and especially shoes) or a book trilogy she adores (but has never been able to get ahold of book 2 at her school's library and the store HAD ALL THREE BOOKS), she was debating aloud with herself about how to spend her own money. she never once begged or even asked her parents for more funds, let alone me (new aunt/uncle-like-adult), she just talked out her priorities and what she really wanted.
and ya know what, i'm never having kids but i'm real good at acting like a fairy-god-whatever to the ones in my life who could use it (ESPECIALLY when it comes to books) so you can be damn sure i bought the trilogy for her...as a "belated bday gift" (oh no, i've missed several bdays gotta get all three i guess!). she was so stunned and excited she asked if she could hug me (yes, these kids are also being taught consent!).
now, this isn't meant as like a self-congratulatory post about how cool i am or whatever, its about how it is actually possible for parents to NOT give kids a dedicated dopamine machine and instead encourage them to interact with the people and things around them!
of course there are those who will disagree and point to the whole me-never-having-kids thing, but what i'm sharing is a case study in how it can actually work.
these kids are naturally pretty reserved/shy but when they met over a dozen new adults this weekend (as the ONLY kids in attendance) they were able to navigate conversations, advocate for their needs, and show resilience in the face of (mild/safe) discomfort (not to mention set off some FIREWORKS hell yeah)!
(as a related aside: my cousin, their mom, told me that toy story 5 was very validating and said i should watch it, so i'm passing along that rec to everyone else, too.)
and look, technology can be pretty fucking rad, but there are many studies that explore how detrimental it can be on the developing mind. i really, truly would love to live in a world with people who were raised having conversations with adults, reading books, and looking for frogs.
