Hello

i don’t need to put my mental disorders in my bio you can easily infer that there’s something wrong with me

that outfit design sucks you need to add more belts that do nothing

hey girl

we as a society need to do something about the fact that frozen pizza doesn't taste good

What’s funny is how often they’re both wrong. Mulder will be like “the victims all had their livers scooped clean out this is obviously the aliens escalating from cattle mutilation” and Scully will be like “don’t be silly Mulder this is clearly just a serial killer who’s really good with surgical tools” and then it turns out the actual killer is an immortal sewer man who comes out ever quarterly century to feast on human liver.

I cannot stress enough that this is literally the plot of an actual episode

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

being paranoid is funny bc like well what if i'm right

and tthe only essential oil these days is the one in our cars run on , this says something

the in our cars run on 👍

maia you forgot "one" between the and in

one 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

two 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

three 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

four 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

one 👍👍👍

something's got to give

two 👍👍👍

love saying i’ve been getting really into mundane normal things as if they’re a new undiscovered hobby. been getting really into pudding cups lately.

been getting really into Beatles yaoi recently

sure. why not. been getting really into beatles yaoi recently. it doesn’t fucking matter. only made a cute post i thought we would all like about pudding. and now it’s about beatles yaoi. sure. whatever. been getting really into beatles yaoi. is that the response you wanted. congrats. you got it. fucking beatles yaoi.

BITTERN AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!

Objectively one of the most fuckable punctuation marks

kind of a milf

I love when Tumblr has random funny bullshit videos without any description like this and I just have to trust either that my mutuals wouldn't put unfunny things on my dash or that I've made good decisions on who to follow

NGL that is WAY funnier than Sasuke

Donald Fagen of Steely Dan was killed by a gorilla last Wednesday. He was hollering and “"havin’ a cow” over the railing looking at Fat Linus’ gorilla hooters. Funeral was held in the gorilla exhibit while Third World Man played on an hacked Buck Bumble cartridge in a modified N64 connected to a projector that electrocuted 10 people to death later that evening.