Bruce: Why is there a horse in the Batcave?
Dick: That's actually a great question.
Bruce: I wasn't asking rhetorically.
Jason: Okay, but you're gonna be really mad.
Bruce: Jason, there is a horse standing next to the Batmobile. I am already really mad.
Damian: Father, perhaps you should focus on the fact that the horse is exceptionally well-behaved.
Bruce: Damian, why are you defending the horse?
Damian: Because he has done nothing wrong.
Bruce: HE'S IN THE BATCAVE.
Dick: Technically, we brought him in.
Jason: That's not true. You contributed.
Tim: I contributed because if I didn't, you would have killed yourselves.
Bruce: Start from the beginning.
Dick: Okay, so we were on patrol—
Jason: Already a lie. We were getting tacos.
Dick: We were getting tacos while on patrol.
Jason: That's still not patrol.
Tim: Can we stay focused?
Dick: Anyway, we were getting tacos and Damian saw a horse.
Damian: A magnificent horse.
Jason: It was just some random horse.
Damian: Silence. You lack vision.
Tim: It was standing in a petting zoo.
Dick: Damian decided he wanted to pet it.
Jason: Then the horse started following us.
Bruce: And none of you thought to call animal control?
Dick: I thought about it.
Bruce: That's not the same thing.
Jason: Then Damian named the horse.
Damian: His name is Lord Waffles.
Bruce: Then what happened?
Tim: Lord Waffles became emotionally attached to Damian.
Tim: He kicked Jason every time Jason got close.
Jason: The fourth one barely counts.
Bruce: So instead of calling someone, you brought the horse here?
Bruce: There is no defense.
Tim: Actually, there was a problem.
Tim: The horse refused to get into any trailer.
Damian: Because he trusted only us.
Jason: No, because he's stupid.
Damian: Say that again and I shall feed you to him.
Bruce: And your solution was the Batcave?
Tim: It wasn't my solution.
Jason: It was Dick's solution.
Dick: It was Damian's solution.
Damian: It was Jason's vehicle.
Bruce: How did you even get a horse into Gotham?
Bruce: You put a horse in the Batmobile.
Dick: To be fair, it was really funny.
Jason: It was a little funny.
Damian: Lord Waffles enjoyed the ride.
Bruce: I don't even know how to respond to that.
(A loud CRASH echoes from deeper in the cave.)
(Everyone suddenly avoids eye contact.)
Bruce: Not hypothetically.
Jason: The horse may have found the giant penny.
Bruce: The horse found the giant—
Dick: On the bright side, he's having a great time.
Bruce: Why are you calm about this?!
Alfred: Because, Master Bruce, this is the fifth strange animal they've brought home this year.
Alfred: The fourth if you don't count Master Jason.
Dick: That's fair, honestly.
Jason: I hate this family.
(Lord Waffles neighs loudly.)
Damian: You hear that? Even Lord Waffles disagrees.
Tim: It's three in the afternoon.
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