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Yesterday there was a massive spider in my tub, so I got a napkin to kill it (time-sensitive spider). I crushed him, then lifted the napkin to see a completely unharmed spider. so I did it again, and once again, the spider was perfectly unharmed. I started to panic, this had never happened to me before. So I started pummeling him. I just kept pummeling and pummeling, bashing and bashing. I was actually punching it, no other word for it. I reared my fist to see a half-living spider. Still this fucker was alive. One more set of pummels, pummels fit for a man, and then, finally, he was gone. But god, what a life he lived.

women tolerate me but they really like it when im in pain or lost and desperate in a cave. odd but i would never question women

I think the historical treatment of left handed people is objectively the funniest form of bigotry mankind has ever displayed

Bitches will create a binary and use it to oppress the other side for ANYTHING

pet peeve is when a fellow hater conducts their haterism such that they leave the hater community vulnerable to attack. “i think characterizing Character A in x way is boring and annoying” = beautiful, flawless, unimpeachable haterism. no one can tell u that u aren’t allowed to find a certain characterization boring. “it is morally/objectively wrong to characterize Character A in x way” = sloppy, reactionary, overcommitting. you have left our eastern flank open to attack girl what the hell….now my dedicated hater troops are taking fire from YOUR enemies fuckkkkk

I just saw a DNI for "evil intentions". nobody puts up a warding talisman anymore just a fucking DNI

going 30mph over the speed limit in my lifted honda civic with "COPS DNI" spraypainted on both sides

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature

Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.

hero’s journey

and this man? Odysseus

Me when I'm innocent