too old for club 27 now

This snail, Anauchen picasso, was named after Pablo Picasso due to the rectangular whorls of the shell: it's "like a cubist interpretation of other snails with 'normal' shell shapes." Though, personally, I think it looks more like a tuba.

Like many snails in the superfamily Pupilloidea, they have little tooth-like protuberances around the aperture of the shell. This is probably an adaptation to keep predators out, from what I gather, but could also be for structural support, as these snails are quite small (3mm across).

Another snail in the same family (Gastrocoptidae), called Angustopila psammion, is interesting in that it currently holds the world record for smallest snail, with an adult shell diameter of only 0.6mm:

Cuban Land Snails-Blaesospira echinus

send one to my house right now or i'm dying

i rolled the autism that makes me maladjusted to the life in society at large and that makes most people interpret many of my words and actions as opposite of what they are. i really can't comprehend or even remember so many social rules that i come off as rude, aggressive, like i'm thinking way too high of myself and considering others as stupid, just a prideful lazy fag, just pretending to have issues. i insult ppl without noticing, i offend them or make them feel [insert whatever bad thing you can imagine]. in many regards i'm the stereotype of terrible annoying person with autism who doesn't even want to try to do better by others, who doesn't care if they hurt others, etc.

but i've tried. i've tried my entire life and i hated myself for never succeeding.

and i've learned to love myself regardless. to be proud of myself, of my good traits. to notice how others mistreat me instead of focusing on my mistakes. *i've learned to stop pushing myself to try and try playing this game that i'm always losing at, to stop trying to understand and apply those rules of behavior.*

and this attitude has only made people more hostile towards me.

i really don't mean to hurt anybody. i try to help others out, support others, be there for them, etc. but it always ends up in the same place. it makes me feel like a monster. it comes back time and time again. whenever i start feeling like i fit in or that i can be understood or whatever, it turns out i was misinterpreting some social game and actually people secretly had bad feelings about me but never told me this directly.

i don't want to be the monster.

i want to feel like i deserve to live.

even if i don't try to follow all those rules. i've tried. it doesn't work. i don't want to keep trying. i am deadly tired.

but i don't think it about anyone else than myself, actually.

the only smells i can't stand are perfumes and such. i never cared if somebody washed yesterday or a week ago (and is wearing t-shirt they put on after washing themselves). you can smell like anything in the world (no perfumes tho and preferably no deodorant).

but when it comes to myself it's such a different story bc i'm hyperaware of how ppl see me and i've heard what they say about me behind my back. i feel disgusting.

and then there are things that are hard to believe, hard to conceptualize for me. hard to say out loud, hard to type down because i don't want them to be true.

i think of my father as somebody i looked up to as a kid. we watched nature and space related documentaries together, he was the one who gave me this curiosity of the world. then he grew distant and i was trying to get closer to him ever since.

i thought that's just the way he is but he isn't this way around my brother. he's just been this way to me.

then now he was threatening me with violence while severly drunk, turning it all into a joke as my brother came by. threatening me because i'm upsetting my mother (upsetting her by feeling angry/offended which i wasn't feeling and i told them both that repeatedly but they didn't believe me because i wasn't coming downstairs and i wasn't coming downstairs because my goddamn ankle was busted (which, by the way, happened because of my mother but now i was supposed to be a grown up about all of this but also just ignore my own pain, as always))

then now he was shouting at me because i was politely asking them to specify their accusations and asking where exactly the insults were coming from, hoping i can address those, work something out, but it turns out i just poked a stick in an anthill because i didn't fall for their cheap manipulations

then now he was shouting at me that they can't trust a word i say ever since i was 14 years old. ever since i tried to kill myself for the first time*. (*it was actually the second time, the first one being a month prior, and even less succesfull, as i just got mighty high instead of hurting myself as i planned)

after this first attempt*, i came to tell them two days after. i was in severe pain that probably would have serious consequences but i "fucked up" and i wouldn't die. i didn't have to come to them to tell them about it but i did.