The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

bro why would you wish me a happy hondadays when you know my family celebrates the toyota sales event

Simple. It’s naptime.

your last 12 used emojis will tell you how 2020 is going to be for you

every anti-milk post on this website only fuels my milk-drinking ways and makes me stronger. im drinking milk right now

oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map

every cover of wham!’s last christmas is infuriating because it lacks the special sauce that makes the original so fucking good

gay yearning

Do you think kids during the industrial revolution had that same weird millennial/gen z experience of having technology change so much while they were growing up

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

we need to stop doing litterary analysis....... like maybe kafka just litteraly turned into an insect who are we to tell him that he didnt

a friend of mine once said “the bb in BB-8 stands for Bad Bitch” and I think about that every day

me, circa early 1800s, paying a stable boy a few coppers to ride overnight to deliver you an urgent letter with a thick wax seal that after you struggle to break it just says “bitch!” in tiny little writing 

no no no, you don’t understand the true level of spiteful here. The sender of a letter didn’t pay for the post in 1800. The receiver did. You just made your enemy pay for the privilege of being insulted.

I’m starting to see why messengers were gettin’ shot