I deprive myself like it's a ritual

I wish i was one of those blogs that got anons of people revealing their deepest secrets but im honestly not a warm or welcoming person so I get it

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

letting family members sit in for dead senators is just monarchy logic im appalled that this has even happened before

An unelected individual getting grandfathered into a real political position due to their blood or legal relationship with a deceased elected official is not pretty good actually

some one call my lawyer i am being unfairly grabbed

Have you considered not being so grabable?

have you considered respectful to me

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

Bro videos are always 🔥 💯.. instant collaborations

thou hast tee'd thy last hee

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement