so im being horny and wayching porn and i burst out laughing because the top came and he literally sounds like someone chopped off his finger or some shit it's so fucking extra and i wish i could post it but i can't but its so fucking funny

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@rat-knife
so im being horny and wayching porn and i burst out laughing because the top came and he literally sounds like someone chopped off his finger or some shit it's so fucking extra and i wish i could post it but i can't but its so fucking funny

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Therapyspeak overuse is annoying and we take great pains to avoid it in our writing but some of what you guys discuss as such i fear is just normie tier awareness of mental health
people generally have passing concepts of most "major" mental illnesses and miscellaneous related concepts (panic attack, prozac, adderall etc) now are they usually good concepts? no. but especially with depression and anxiety its like probably they should know, we're like ten years into Instagram Infographic About How Depression Is Not What You Think! world
the "they should absolutely know" doesnt even apply to anythign more complicated than unipolar depression, generalized anxiety, or the really obvious reasons to have ptsd (knife attack or some shit) but its like They would know the words. THey wou.ld.
I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide
ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):
ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").
Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.
Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

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absolutely looosssinggg it. i'm so obsessed with movies which portray the woman MC in a highly specific job because the writers clearly think it's like "off-beat" and "quirky" but have no idea how the field works whatsoever.
i decided to try a romcom i somehow missed i the 2000s 'head over heels' and i got 3 and a half minutes in and we're introduced to the lonely MC with bad taste in men as evidenced by her extremely short list of ex boyfriends, including her first boyfriend when she was 11 or something because i guess that's still relevant in her adult life.
so she's resigned herself to never finding love and prefers to ignore men to focus all her energy into her career.
this job is immediately presented as though it's for spinsters with no hope of ever finding a man.
the mc's lesbian bestie (whose first line involves her being scolded for being too sexual in the workplace, but moving on) points out their colleagues as evidence that they're doomed to a romance-less, sexless life if they don't switch up their shared career path. the colleagues are three old women, so-dubbed "the menopause triplets":
these women are presented as if they have no idea what's going on at any given moment. this is 2001, and presumably this is an entry level job requiring low effort and no experience.
then their boss bursts into the room, unceremoniously bumping a large painting into the door jam and walls, announcing that it's a new project for our MC.
our MC is thrilled to see the painting. apparently it's a light in the daily slog at her dreary job for loser women with nothing going on in their lives.
And that job is? Conservator of paintings (specializing in Renaissance) at the New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The painting being handled like an old couch on its way to the curb?
The Bacchanal of the Andrians by Titian.
Her lesbian colleague who is presumably also a a highly trained & skilled curator finds it depressing that the MC is so excited about the painting.
it's a quirk unique to this MC that she cares so much about paintings, in her department at the metropolitan museum of art, where her colleagues find all that art business rather dreary. because we all know that's what conservators in extremely competitive museum positions are like.
I'm not saying there can't be lifelong love in here somewhere but I also just feel like the monogamous heterosexual marriage you're fantasizing about isn't necessarily best represented by the bacchanal. and that's okay. but i do stand by that.
if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills
where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*
I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".
some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it
Shakespeare is like this
Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away
Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal
it’s funny how we’re getting to the point in the AI lifespan where you can feel the desperation from tech companies to have you use their AI features. instagram has moved their AI effects to the top of the menu when you’re creating a post for your story, exactly where the draw/edit button used to be. gmail is creating one-click AI-generated replies right before you open up the text box. spotify put a beta AI playlist generator on the front page that looks just like a search bar so all of their users accidentally click on it when they go to search for a song.
tech companies are shaking in their boots trying to prove to shareholders that their investment in AI is worth it, to the point where they’re tricking their users into using the AI features even for a split second in order to fudge the numbers. like awww is your little environment-destroying toy not wielding the results you hoped for? so sad!
I spend a lot of time being amused at internet communities which become convinced that a television programme finale was intentionally unsatisfying in order to set up the surprise "real" final episode (because this has never and will never happen). But I also occasionally become convinced that a "man" in a television programme was intentionally framed as dysphoric and feminine in order to have them come out as a trans woman (this equally has never and will never happen).
So what's the deal
Both of these will eventually come true.
A fake final episode will happen.
A transgender woman will come out.
Both of these will always be impossible.

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crying tears of joy over this photo
Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus)
every time I share a photo of a kākāpō and someone goes "lol it's sirocco the one who shagged a man's head" I get so irritated because there's more than one kākāpō on earth but. after much digging. no this is literally sirocco. this IS in fact and undoubtedly the parrot that shagged some dude's head. happy birthday you crazy bachelor
Hyper-individualist cultures go, “Your emotions are your personal responsibility. Don’t burden others. Regulate privately. Maintain functionality. If you’re upset, process it offstage so the machine keeps moving.” Meanwhile certain collectivist or harmony-focused frameworks go, “Your emotions disrupt group cohesion. Don’t create discomfort. Don’t impose disharmony. Transcend or contain your reactions for the sake of the whole.”
Different mythology, same trembling fear that one person saying “actually, I feel terrible” will cause civilization to peel apart like wet drywall.
OP wove a traditional Chinese-style cover for her essential balm. Cnetizens also shared their handmade woven cases.
(fengyoujing风油精, literally wind oil essential, like tiger balm, it’s a daily household item in China. The light green liquid has a strong refreshing scent. Dab it on your temples and neck in summer to stay awake. It relieves itching and swelling from bug bites, especially mosquito bites, and eases dizziness and mild car sickness too.)(cr国家特级铲shi官)
there's so much i don't know. how do i learn everything by tomorrow
one of my least favorite tropes is when a character has a crush that is explicitely unrequited and hopeless, yet in the timeskip epilogue they inexplicably get married. like bro if you fruitlessly pine after someone and they show no interest for the whole 3 year run of the story and then suddenly change their mind. i think theyre settling for you. quite frankly both of you need to learn some self respect. get divorced immediately.

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seems like tumblr finally realized the bad optics of not having the trans colors represented anywhere in their little performative pride like animation.
anyways transfems are still being banned en masse from this website for “any reason or no reason at all” and having their accounts taken down again and again when they attempt to remake. this includes accounts that had originally been around for over a decade, after they did nothing but get a bit too loud about being transfem. don’t shut up about it.
party
some of you may be happy to know that this is just gobs having fun! they distort and mimic what they believe human interaction to have been like, based on watching shows and movies on DVD players and TVs powered by gobs in giant makeshift hamster wheels
however, they don't understand the concept of fictional simulation; that gob was, in fact, launched into the decorative spike pit and killed. they agreed to this enthusiastically upon reading the script (which wasn't actually legible. total bullshit chicken scratch)