That's rat, babes

have a scrumptious morning my lovely mutuals. the rest of you figure it out

Everyone pick up your government-assigned fursona, grab your two colors then combine it with this random animal picker. Tell us what you get and no rerolls, I don't make the rules.

hahaha alright dude take it easy see you later

Falling asleep to Jerma streams as a substitute for estrogen

furry species ranked by how difficult it'd be to take them anywhere

taking my deer boyfriend for a hike in the woods and he hears a twig break and bounds off into the trees never to be seen again

My disguise fucking sucks and i am going to get killed

Walt and Jesse are literally just Tom and Jerry of meth

Lady at work was telling me about her son who makes music so I asked what kind of music he makes and she said "oh you know he just makes his little sounds"

my dad had surgery today so he is kind of high off his pain meds and he keeps telling me “get me a ham sandwich” and i’m like “no dad we don’t eat ham.. we’re jews’ he goes “ham… ham sandwich please” “dad no no, no ham..” 

now he’s just reading from the dessert menu and my mom is telling him “your doctor said no sugar or anything too heavy…” and he’s going “this is so unfair! this is so unfair to me!”

If I won that Mega Millions I’d be on my Medici shit and commission some wop to carve a marble slab into an 8 foot Hatsune Miku